Monday, November 28, 2011

Can we put a wedding pic on our xmas card?


Dear ESB...

My husband and I were recently married in July and would like to send out Christmas cards with our favorite pic from the wedding. We had a somewhat small reception and did not invite all of our friends. 

Is it rude (or inconsiderate) to send a Christmas card (with the wedding pic) to people who were not invited?

Thanks for any advice you can provide...

-Am I Scrooged?

*****

Even if I had been in attendance, I wouldn't want to see your damn wedding photo on a Christmas card.

Wedding, Christmas. Christmas, Wedding. TWO ENTIRELY SEPARATE OCCASIONS, mkay?

Why don't you take a newlywed holiday pic with your cat.

Photo by Melina via dreamcats

35 comments:

  1. Couldn't agree more with ESB. The wedding is over, for god's sakes. No one wants to see something that happened 5 months ago, unless you had a Nativity scene at your wedding, of course.

    I know it's shocking SHOCKING, but people really aren't that interested, especially if they're weren't invited.

    And who says Merry Wedding?

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  2. I got married in June and what we are doing is putting a print of one of the wedding photos in certain cards that going to friends or relations who were unable to attend the wedding and who I *know* would like to see a picture. The cards themselves are normal Christmas cards.

    I'm by no means including this for everyone as not everyone will be that interested. My really good friend from high school that couldn't come because she'd just given birth and my godfather who also couldn't come? They'd like to see a picture. But not everyone will.

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  3. I totally disagree with ESB.

    It is very common to put a wedding picture on Christmas cards where I come from. In fact, it would be considered odd if you got married in the last year and DIDN'T put a wedding picture on your Xmas card.

    So I say do what you want. I've gotten plenty of Xmas cards with pics from weddings I wasn't invited to. Never felt miffed about it.

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  4. I disagree completely. Lots of people send Christmas cards with updates from the year included. Your wedding was a pretty big deal - I say use the picture!

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  5. just use the picture, AIS. although, a photo with a cat would be just as welcome.

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  6. We are including a little 2011 holiday recap on what we did this year in with our thank you cards...mostly to make it seem less awful that we haven't sent them out yet. But, we decided to forgo putting in a wedding photo too, I think a nice holiday photo would be great.

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  7. am I the only one who never knows that the eff to do with all the photo holiday cards on my fridge come January?

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  8. We got married this year and a lot of people couldn't attend so we were in the same situation and I worked up a bunch of wedding/ Christmas cards on an online site and the narcissism involved in the process made me so nauseated and grossed out that I quit and I'm not sending cards at all. That being said, I have received wedding/ Christmas cards from others and it didn't bother me at all.

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  9. Who knew so many people used pictures of themselves for Christmas cards? Personally I'm not a big fan of that — this year we commissioned an illustration (not of us), will print them ourselves, and will actually write a little something about our lives. I miss when people actually took the time to write something out rather than just send a picture.

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  10. Maybe I'm nuts but don't you send a wedding photo with the thank you note?

    Assuming yes, why would anyone want another one?

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  11. I disagree with ESB on this one. Totally appropriate to send a photo--it's the biggest thing that happened in your life this year, and holiday cards are often the only way you let people you don't see much know what's going on with you. Also, the Southern moms would be pissed if you didn't use a wedding photo on your holiday card the year you got married.

    All of which is to say: do what you want.

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  12. This year our Christmas cards only have illustrations of our pets; we figured no one is interested in seeing our stupid faces when there are much cuter ones on offer.

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  13. I think gratuitous personal photos are always a little gross. I felt weird even using one for our wedding thank yous. (see Alice's note above)

    That said, I don't think it'd be THE WORST THING EVER to use a photo on your holiday card, so long as it sort of fits in. Like, don't use a bright/sunny/floral wedding photo on a holiday card. Pick something black and white - a bit graphic - so it blends better.

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  14. I gotta agree, I have received the wedding/xmas card and I think it is kind of weird. It's definitely EASY though because you already have the photo! There were some really nice photos of our guests so I am going to enclose prints to selected people if I have a good shot of THEM, but I don't assume anyone except maybe our moms actually want a photo of US. And I didn't send them out with the thank-yous because I didn't have the photos at that time!

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  15. I'm fine with a wedding picture if that's what you want to do, just PLEASE don't put some cheesy message on it like "Married Christmas and a Happy Newlywed Year!" Just no.

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  16. I think for me it depends on what kind of couple you are. If you're someone who's all "OMG WE'RE GETTING MARRIED LOVE IS GREAT WEDDING DETAIL AFTER WEDDING DETAIL WEDDING WEDDING WEDDING WEDDING I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD BUT I'M GETTING MARRIED WEDDING" every minute of your life, then let's give everyone a break and just have snowman cards. If you had a small affair or keep it on the low key side, then a wedding pic isn't terrible.

    I agree with Rachelle. Cheesy messages always are terrible.

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  17. I'm not a fan of holiday cards without photos. I want to see the smiling faces of my friends and family (most of which live across the country from me). And wedding photos... they are a holiday card favorite of mine.

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  18. Include the wedding photos if you must for those who couldnt make it or would be interested. Yeah, we get it, you got married, youre, like, super excited. We, drank, cried, held your dress up while you peed, we had a good time. But now its Christmas, slap on a cheesy sweater and show the fam that you havent lost your sense of humor along with your last name.

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  19. Ok. Related question: I haven't sent our thank-you cards out yet. Wedding was end of August. I know, it's terrible. But I figure if the wedding started 45 minutes late, waiting an extra month or two for the thank-you might at least be expected. (bratty grin)
    It is also now almost christmas. Is it weird to send out our thank-you cards now and just skip the christmas card (which is not something we always do, and certainly not at a large-scale... also half of our relatives are Jewish)? Or should we wait until the season is over so it doesn't seem like we're confusing the two events?

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  20. Anon 11:24 lady, i do holiday cards every 6 years AT BEST. just send the damn thank you cards already.

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  21. Thanks ESB. Will do.

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  22. you can totally put your wedding photos on a christmas card. as long as it looks like this: http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/148213_991338961712_10101582_52371691_6451_n.jpg

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  23. F that. I paid $2,500 for those damn pics and I'll use one every damn year if I want. I'll try not to make it cheesy or include a newlywed pun but, even if it included both of those things, it would still be no worse than your baby dressed as santa OR the one of you and your cat in matching fair isle sweaters.

    You know, ESB, for someone who just can't figure out *why* people get engagement photos, you sure are a proponent for special photography sessions.

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  24. Maybe it is a Southern thing -- every one of my friends who got married have sent a Xmas card with their photo on it, and I've never thought a thing about it. Maybe it's the cheap side of me -- I know photography is expensive, and I say MAXIMIZE THOSE PHOTOS! I don't see how it's any different than kid photos people use every year in holiday photos... Now, if you got married longer than a calendar year ago, that would be weird for sure.

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  25. Jesus christ, it's bad enough when people put their wedding pictures on their *thank you* cards. Nothing says gratitude like a full page picture of YOURSELF. So no, I don't think it's okay to use your wedding photo. But then I'm British, I don't think it's okay to use non-wedding photos of yourself on your christmas cards.

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  26. As a jew, I find all Christmas cards with people's pictures bizarre. Especially the part where I must inevitably trash them, or face hanging on to an ever growing pile forever.

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  27. UGH. I agree with the narcissism bit — I hate hate hate getting Christmas photo cards. I love mail, and send letters and cards quite often, but I'd so rather get a card at any old time of year from a friend that actually SAYS SOMETHING than a holiday snapshot with a cheesy border on glossy paper.

    Bah humbug.

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  28. We sent out thank you notes with prints from our wedding enclosed. The pics were of us with our guests and sent only to the guests in the photos.

    We are having a rough october/november/december and people are helping us a lot. Can we forgo the Christmas card and make a Valentine's card that has a pic from our honeymoon. The card would just tell our friends/fam how much we love them. Is that weird?

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  29. card with a honeymoon pic, way weird! since when do you send out valentines cards to friends and family?! no no no

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  30. @sugar+oysters if you want to tell people you love them just send a regular thank you card, or take them out any damn day you want, DON'T mix it in with another holiday

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  31. @sugar+oysters if I had someone I loved going through a hard time, I'd really not expect a Christmas card at all! Why not just buy (shock horror) some cheap but nice cards and write a meaningful message inside.

    Oh, and wedding photo on the Christmas card = hell no.

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  32. This. Yes. No wedding pics on Christmas cards. In fact, can we trash the photo Christmas card all together? (Except for the pets. They can stay.)

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  33. we paid a butt load of money for our wedding photos, you bet your bottom dollar that our wedding pictures are being sent to our friends and relatives for years to come.

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  34. Yea, I'm with Cara and going to chock this one up to regional/cultural differences. If we didn't put a picture of the wedding with our holiday card (holiday cards are very much the norm), people would be disappointed - both those we did and didn't invite. I love getting holiday cards with people's pictures. Or without pictures. I think it's fun. Except the ones with snow glitter that get all over your room. No snow glitter, people.

    And y'all - after the holidays, you just throw them in the recycling bin. Just like you do with any other card. It's not that hard.

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