Thursday, December 10, 2009

So yeah, the gift guides running all over the blogosphere are starting to make me a little nauseous. And now I feel guilty about the materialistic shit I post all the time.

Inspired by Keri Smith, I thought I'd offer an anti-gift guide. Or, TEN THINGS TO DO INSTEAD OF SHOPPING:*

1. Mail a holiday card to one of your blog friends. Maybe the one who sent you a present that you never properly acknowledged? You have her address. Just saying.

2. Learn how to use the juicer. Because you can't let your husband do everything for you. At least not when he's out of town.

3. Watch 4 hours in a row of Tabatha's Salon Takeover. Later, discover an awesome (in the original sense of the word) arrangement of dusty cobwebs under your desk and wonder whether Tabatha would consider taking over your house.

4. Figure out where to donate your old coat.

5. Put on your new coat and go for a walk. Snap photos of weird graffiti with your phone and save them as wallpaper.

6. Apply bioré pore strips to your entire face. Cheaper than a facial, and so much more satisfying!

7. Blast Uhh Yeah Dude while "reorganizing" the kitchen cabinets. (Read: Secretly recycling your husband's massive jar collection. What is he saving those for??)

8. Make a super rad mix CD to give your best girlfriends. Hell, give it to some guys too.** Note: Old New York mags and Urban Outfitters catalogs would make excellent raw material for collaging the cover art.

9. Finish that book you started in August.

10. SLEEP. Sleep sleep sleep.

(You can find Keri's list here.)


**I may or may not, in fact, be working on a "celebrity playlist" for The Flashdance. I'm still waiting for MA to figure out he's got me mixed up with someone else. Celebrity. Tee hee.


  1. Haha!! Thank you!! I am getting so sick of reading about gift guides if I read the phrase one more time I might vomit. My issue is that most gift guides are filled with pretty products that I'd like myself. Most of my friends and family like different things than I do. When I do buy gifts, I like them to be completely personal, a stranger can't tell me what to buy for my sister or friend. Thanks for speaking up!

  2. i love this list (hehe!). gift guides make me crazy.

  3. haha! you are the greatest!

    i was just thinking about that.
    i dont want to write this kind of "buy this,buy that blog"
    and already did a list of post inspirations that are not shopping oriented. during the day.

    at the same time: uhm i still need presents for my family. i should have done it months ago like you did! please remind me next year.

    and: love the alternative list title, because my boy left for australia tonight : ( but on my list is :
    work, work, work and work. and try to stay alive during the winter.

  4. i have done ZERO xmas shopping this year. by choice. i am beyond annoyed by the holiday consumer rushfest associated with the holidays. it makes me have icky thoughts toward xmas, and i don't want that. and those gift guides? terrible. i'd MUCH rather receive something off your list. I think we'll just end up making dinner for our families. who doesn't want to be cooked for? Spending time with family + good food and booze = everyone wins. and hey, if we throw in doing the dishes as an added bonus, we'll be more than solid.

  5. i'm down for gift guides because, i'm not going to lie, i like material things. and, i really like giving them to people. maybe i'm trying to buy their love? or, maybe i just see absolutely no point in holding onto my hard earned money. this would explain a lot.

    anyway, i'm down for this list too, but with a few exceptions...

    #5. are you cuckoo?! have you been outside? it's fucking freezing.

    #6. ouch.

    #7. i save random shit too. there is a reason and i don't feel i need to justify it to you or my husband, thank you very much!

    #9. i'm over books. al they do is rub my commitment issues in my face. and that goes for movies too. it's not my fault you can't keep me interested for more than 10-20 minutes.

    #10. no problem with this one. it just so happens to be my favorite pastime.


  6. we keep trying to convince the fam that getting fat together for a day is better than bringing each other crap from the mall, but my mother and stepmother won't listen to reason.

    i made my little sisters friendship bracelets when i was home with pneumonia last week. they're easy to gift anyway, but i've decided these are the most unassailable presents ever: the places where i fucked up are even more endearing than the other places, because, you know, pneumonia.

    so that's life lesson #2: escape materialism with friendship bracelets.

    (life lesson #1 is that if you want someone to fall in love with you, you should walk straight into the ocean fully clothed.)

  7. For those of you who do not live in LA like Celia and me, I would just like to point out that "fucking freezing" = 61

  8. that's my story and i'm sticking to it!

  9. I love Tabatha, for some reason. And I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that I watched the entire season of Top Hair or Making the Cut or whatever that show was called that she was first on. And enjoyed it.

    I actually love the gift guides, but I thought of putting one together and then I thought "blah" because there are already so many good ones out there that no one needs another one.

    I made a commitment this year to only buy awesome stuff for people. So if I can't find something someone will love, they are just getting a bunch of cookies and homemade candy.

  10. Oh it's fucking freezing all right. I said PUT ON YOUR NEW COAT, didn't I?? (Actually, I said "put your new coat," but I have just corrected that.)

  11. Also, it is really cold here! I had to wear socks today and everything.

  12. you are so right about the holidays. and gifts. and guides. now i feel like a dumbass.

    thanks for the enlightenment though - you're totally right.

  13. haha.. love the biore pore strip idea.. great list

  14. If you Californians don't stop complaining about the cold, imma gonna send you a knuckle sandwich for Christmas.

    That said, I love this post and I think we need to bring back mix tape/cd exchanges. Best gifts.

  15. gah! guilty as charged... i've been christmas shopping like a mad woman. however, it's mostly been from etsy and the comfort of my couch. i have yet to set foot in a mall this christmas!

    my list would be 10 things to do instead of studying for finals.

  16. All the tips were gr8!!!Liked them all...

  17. love it. i haven't even started shopping, so maybe i just won't. :)

  18. #7 made me laugh out loud. My husband has the same freaking obsession with saving jars. His also extends to giant yogurt containers and bread bags. Let us know how yours takes the recycling, and I'll try to make some big moves myself next weekend.

  19. @Sloan My dad used to pack my lunch in a recycled GENERIC cookie bag (blue with big yellow letters). I do not take kindly to the saving of bags.

  20. re: #7

    why do they DO that? We've got enough empty juice and pasta sauce jars to start our own small time canning biz!

  21. re: #7 listen, they're good for making your own salad dressing. or something.

    @esb my scary uncle/landlord would rinse out, dry, and re-use paper towels.

  22. So... I've gone and done 8 of these in the last couple weeks. The blog planets must be in alignment.

  23. fantastic post. totally with you on that and love your list.

  24. although I do love a gift guide, and would imagine that you would make a pretty damn good one, this list made me laugh so thanks for that.

  25. lol i love this list..... esp the one about tabitha's salon makeover bc they always have the marathons on and i could watch it for hours!

  26. love this list. and yeah, i almost gave in to making a gift guide list too... but got bored doing it cause id much prefer gifts to be individually chosen for that unique person not suggested by me or anyone else. {but they are still fun to look at} hmm... i wanna make a list too.....