Wednesday, December 9, 2009


I hate to be a bother, but I love the advice you give and frankly, I fucking love your cursing. :) Anyway, I am having serious issues picking a city for my wedding. I feel like I want to honor my future with my amazing man by having it in the city we wish to move to after I finish school, but at the same time I would like to honor my past/present by having a wedding here in California. My man and I are from California and both of our families are mostly here. I was born and raised in a suburb of Los Angeles and he was born in Los Angeles, grew up on the Central Coast and then moved to LA after he finished college.

The city we want to move to eventually is NYC, but with the economy the way it is, I can't exactly just keep flying out there in between working full time and going to school. I'm not like all these weddings I keep seeing on blogs where people have connections in every damn industry either. So this will require so much money by EVERYBODY (for me, fam/friends flying out, my parents, Todd,* etc.). My parents are amazing and I'm sure they'd make it work, but I'd hate to spend so much damn money of theirs. I just feel so sad that I wouldn't be able to have a wedding there though since Todd and I just love that city soooo much. The areas of California we are very interested in are the central coast with its beautiful valleys and of course it's where my Todd grew up and went to school and the other area we are interested in is a place we love going to visit: the area of California between Big Sur and Santa Cruz. I don't know if you're familiar with these areas of California, just trust me, they are both amazing. Bottom Line: We just love NYC and California is our heart and has so many places/climates to take advantage of that I just feel so stuck!

You probably think I'm a nutjob, but any help would be TOTALLY appreciated.




First of all, you are never a bother. That's what I'm here for.

But lady, you have answered your own question. Your heart is with California. I got married on the west coast of BC where I grew up part-time, and I have to tell you it was super cool to be surrounded with memories on the day. It also meant so much to my dad.

Plus it just doesn't make sense (money-wise or sanity-wise) to plan a NYC wedding when all of you live over here. Get married closer to home. Not only will your guests thank you, more of them will show up.

New York will always be there. Hello...honeymoon?


*All names have been changed to protect the innocent. Yeah I picked California names. It's my blog.

Polaroid by Jen Gotch


  1. I'm from Carmel (that very special place between Big Sur and Santa Cruz) and pretty much any place that you get married in between those towns will be magical and picture perfect for a wedding. You can't argue with the landscape and beauty of the ocean. Obviously I'm biased but seriously...

  2. Dude, why did I not realise that you were part-time Canadian? I change my mind, you are now right about everything.

    Anyway, I feel like location is such a scary choice when it comes to wedding planning--so huge. I agree with your advice, and generally think that we need to not overthink things--do what works. It doesn't matter if it's not the perfect representation of your ideal life that you've got in your head; life is likely to be a lot less stressful if you just go with a good option that works for you.

  3. sadly, I don't have citizenship, and you guys are getting so *stingy.* it's like you think we only love you for your health care.

    but every time H and I are in vancouver we have let's-just-move-here fantasies.

  4. Oh man...location stress is the worst. We're having a similar problem, we're both from the SF Bay Area but in a month or two we might be moving to Seattle, which we are super excited but makes venue searching fairly complex... We're going with California, because it's where our family and friends are for the most part, but I think secretly we dream of having it in Seattle. But logistically, for us at least, it will be complex either way, but at least we can make it a bit easier for everyone else.

    Good luck searching!

  5. CENTRAL COAST OF CALI ALL THE WAY! My fiance and I met, fell in love and lived in Santa Barbara until last year. There was just no way I wasn't going to get married in the area and there are so many beautiful venues!!

  6. well, i'm totally biased because i think california is the most beautifulist!*

    and, yes you are so right on the "more people will show up part". we got married in california, where i was born and raised. my husband was born and raised in nh... very, very far away. besides his immediate family and a couple long time friends, no one from his side ended up coming. it made me kind of sad, but we would have had the same issue if we got married in nh. so, a) get married where your heart is and b) consider your guests. if it's expensive for you to travel to the location, it will be for them as well.

    * i am allowed to think that, right? ;)

  7. CALIFORNIA! YES! Its wild and beautiful and fresh. All nice things.

    I have a slightly different problem. My heart is in California but I live on the EC. I still want a wedding in CA.

  8. Agreed. Also: CA is more likely to have nice weather. Plus NYC is bound to be more expensive on many counts... and planning from a distance is way stressful!

  9. Watsonville. Rent out some houses in Pajaro Dunes. Or, Chaminade. Just to throw some local concepts around.

  10. Besides... think of all the fab anniversary parties you can have in NYC after you're married! I've been married for five years, and I definitely am glad I went with a convenient location (which just happened to be Vegas for us).

  11. umm big sur or the central coast all the way! so much cheaper in terms of travel, and so much natural beauty you are bound to save money on decor too. i grew up on the central coast with a surfer father, so needless to say I grew up camping in that area. you must check out the campground at julia pfeifer state beach if you haven't been there already, there are about 5 camping spots out on the point that overlook a waterfall that plummets over 300 feet onto the beach. you can rent out the entire point for the ceremony and whoever's up for it could camp, for those who prefer a little luxury Ventana and Post Ranch are just up the road. Wish I would have thought of it when I got married, check out the photo below, enough said!!