Monday, December 28, 2009
How to be the best matron of honor EVER
I have been reading your blog b/c you are just so lovely. My friend Joy had linked to you during her stages of wedding planning.
Anyhow, so I'm writing because my sister JUST (as in, on Christmas Eve) got engaged! I got married 3 1/2 years ago and it was a wonderful experience, and I'm looking for some advice/tips on how to be the best bridesmaid, or rather, matron of honour, ever. What do I need to stay on top of? I've been a bridesmaid a couple of other times, but lived far away from both those brides so wasn't super involved. I'd love any help/assistance/advice you can give me!
Warm wishes to you from chilly Canada!
Mkay. I’m a little offended that you called me “lovely” when I really try to envision myself as badass. But since you are Canadian, I won’t hold it against you.
So. HOW TO BE THE BEST BRIDESMAID/MAID OF HONOR/MATRON OF HONOR EVER:
1. Let her vent. The groom will get bored with wedding planning. There will be entire days when he doesn’t want to talk about it. Also, as I learned when H-town and I were planning our wedding, if you complain about something to a man, he will try to fix it. Adorable, but not always helpful. Sometimes you just want to complain. So tell the bride to imagine that you have given her one of those red telephones. A direct line to you. And any time she needs to jabber or rant or cry she can call you.
2. Tell her the truth (90% of the time). If, for example, she is leaning toward a dress that is a) lame, b) not flattering or c) not her, for chrissake speak up! She needs to know she can rely on you for an honest opinion. But if you don’t get to see the dress until it’s bought and paid for, you love it. Obviously.
3. Whatever with the bridal shower…. Throw her an amazing bachelorette party. Mine involved bar-hopping in gold heels and a pink feather boa. Don’t tell anyone, but my girlfriends also made me wear a pink t-shirt that said “Buy Me A Shot, I’m Tying The Knot.” The NYC-single-girl-me would have been mortified, but the LA-about-to-be-married-me had the best time. Note: Skip the condom/penis veil. Come to think of it, don’t affix condoms or penises to any part of her body. Thx.
4. When the time comes, rip that to-do list out of her hands. This won’t be easy. She might cancel her mani/pedi so she can supervise the table set-up at the reception hall. Or you might catch her rearranging the flowers in the chapel when she’s already late for the m-effing portraits. But the more you know about what’s supposed to happen/what things are supposed to look like, the more you can help when it starts to get hairy.
Oh, and write your speech in advance. Cocktail hour won’t be any fun if you spend it locked in the ladies room scribbling on index cards.
(Photo by Brian Henry)