A: Elopement photos!
I just wanted to give a big thank you to you and your readers for all the suggestions on my question about how to tell people once we'd eloped (especially whoever thought I was serious about the "news item" thing... amazing!).
We went the postcard route, and had a blast picking out cards, especially some of the weird ones we found in vintage stores (although we went with more traditional "I heart NY"-type ones for the famjam).
As for coworkers and local friends, we just told when it came up in conversation. A lot of people thought we were joking (which, let's be honest, that wouldn't be a particularly funny joke) but the rings convinced them.