Friday, October 26, 2012
Dear ESB: Please just tell me what to do.
Long time listener, first time caller.
Me and the FH have been together for 8 years. I know I know you would think that I would have had used all this time wisely to diligently plan every detail of our wedding… but… I haven't. See we’ve been too busy living abroad, and traveling, and making art (I'm an artist), and enjoying each other's company and living this amazing opportunity. so much so that we haven't really focused ourselves on picking out flowers or bunting or... well anything really. We are so happily engaged, living in London (loved your recent what to do in London, by the way). We’d like to get married next year, but the problem is that we can't decide where.
We’re both American, and our families live literally across the US (with sets of parents in the East coast, midwest, and west coast), and siblings and friends spread similarly far and wide. No more than 2 people live in any one time zone. We’d like to make this wedding an opportunity to bring our 4 sets of parents (both separated and happily remarried), siblings, best friends from across our travels, and everyone is game and excited to celebrate what has been 8 years in the making....
Please just tell me what to do. Options are:
(A) LONDON - I’d love to get married in London where we live now and have really defined ourselves as artists and individuals, but it's soo expensive (my dream is a civil ceremony, dinner, and dancing in this museum that I love and but it's like $9,500 just to rent the venue for the night.... And that’s the cheapest museum I've found in London! I was thinking of spending more like $15,000 on the whole shebang). Plus this would be asking everyone we know to hop across the ocean, which just adds to the expenses and guilt (esp as parents would like to help pay). Can I somehow negotiate/sell my soul to get my dream venue on the cheap? I am saving and saving (have $5000 saved on my own so far) and willing to make every scrap of invitation and décor but is it selfish to ask everyone (including my artist friends) to come across the pond?
(B) USA - the only place that hold resonance for both of us is my hometown where we haven't lived since 2005. My parents have moved away and we don't actually know anyone who lives there anymore (FH's mom lives like 3 hours away).... so everyone will just be traveling anyway (there's a tiny museum there that I could rent for like $700.... plus all the plane tickets back and forth to organise it). It would be nice going home but I've heard scary stories about people planning weddings remotely even in their hometown… and I'd be diving in pretty blindly here.... is this just a bad idea?
I’ll confess I was hoping just writing this down was going to resolve things for me, but I think I just need your straight up guidance here.
Love, Artist in Abeyance
This one's easy. LONDON!
Anyone have venue suggestions?
Photo: Adrian Crispin for Dazed and Confused