Tuesday, June 5, 2012
She didn't tell me I wasn't a bridesmaid...
I became very close with a friend about 2 years ago. I don't have a lot of female friends, but I felt extremely close to her and considered her one of my nearest and dearest. I hate the phrase "best friend," but... she was my best friend.
She got engaged almost a year ago, at the height of our friendship, and didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid. The worst part is that she didn't tell me I wasn't a bridesmaid... I had to hear it from a mutual friend. And it's not like she's having one of those no-bridesmaids-weddings: she has 6 bridesmaids! Would it have been that hard to add a 7th? I'm really hurt and embarrassed that I liked her more than she liked me, but I'm also dumbfounded... she treated me like a best friend and made me feel like one. I always knew she had a bunch of other close friends, but I thought I was at least as important to her as they were.
I confronted her about the diss and we had a big, awful fight. We're still in touch but nowhere near as close as we used to be. Now she has pity-asked me to do a reading during her wedding ceremony, and I'm not sure if I should or not. Frankly, I'm not sure I even want to go to her wedding. It's all the way across the country, and although I can afford to go, I'm not sure I want to make the trek for someone who hurt me. My boyfriend agrees it's outrageous that I wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid, so he's boycotting her and refusing to go to the wedding. I'm tempted to do the same, but I'm not sure I want to cut all ties with her... especially considering we have some mutual friends.
What do you think? Should I go to the wedding and do the reading? Go to the wedding and not do the reading? Or not go at all?
A ceremony reading is not a pity ask. "Minding the guest book" is a pity ask.
Do you still care about this person? Do you want to repair the friendship? She's offering you an olive branch.
Go do that reading and kick some ass. (Also: Tell your stupid boyfriend you need him there with you.)
10 Crosby Derek Lam Resort, Pre-Spring 2013 via because im addicted via Fashionising