Wednesday, June 27, 2012

And then the bride peed all over herself

Hi ESB

I've been loving cringing at the recent wedding horror stories, semi-smugly thinking I had nothing to contribute since our wedding day was awesome. Not sure if it's too late, but just remembered a little incident from our wedding I had pretty much forgotten/blocked out. I was having so much fun on the night it didn't even really upset me at the time, but on an intellectual level, I still think, wtf?

Our reception was held in a marquee in the gardens of a small property, right next to a converted grain silo that served as our wedding night digs. The silo also had a bathroom that only my husband and I were using. At one point during the night, I was busting to go to the loo, but one of my husband's friends held me up at the door to the silo. He alluded to the fact that two other friends were inside, and that I couldn't go in yet. Assuming they were up to some harmless mischief decorating our bed for the wedding night, I stayed outside til the other two busted out and they all ran away.

About two seconds into doing my business, I realised what they had actually been doing inside was putting plastic wrap over the toilet bowl. I was slightly drunk, holding up a big bunch of tulle, and pissing on my legs/the floor/everywhere. Miraculously, nothing actually got on my shoes or on my tea-length dress, which I'd been holding out in front. So I kinda just had to wipe myself off, get back to the party, and pretend nothing happened.

To this day I am still perplexed as to why someone would play this kind of prank on a bride, and why they would find it funny? These guys are all around 30, most married or with long-term partners, and usually some of the most sensible and responsible people I know. Seriously, what the

15 comments:

  1. WTH? People are idiots sometimes.

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  2. This is hilarious, not for the sake of the prank, but for how bizarre it is! wtf indeed.

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  3. i'm getting married in 2 days and feeling totally stressed out, but this: "but on an intellectual level, I still think, wtf?" just cracked me up. so, i am sorry for your misfortune, but i thank you for providing that moment of laughter.

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  4. I'm hoping that for whatever reason, they thought you wouldn't pee again until way later, out of your dress, or thought it'd be the groom who would fall victim to it. But I also doubt that's really the case.

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  5. It's awful. Imagine you had gotten pee all over yourself? I would have sued them. Then again, maybe I just don't have a sense of humour.

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    1. sued your friends? over pee? yeesh!

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  6. Sued your friends....? For a prank? Wow.

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  7. Ok... I seriously laughed...

    This wouldn't bug me - and it wouldn't have bugged me on our wedding day, unless I had peed all over my dress - that might have upset me. But honestly - I would be cracking up...

    Too soon?

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  8. omg!!! so funny!!!

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  9. ... that leads to the question: does a bride need a backup dress !?!?

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  10. this has been my fave wedding horror story so far :)

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  11. I can only imagine the drunken confusion as the pee pools around your ass and onto the floor......

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  12. This reminds me of how a friend of my husband's offered him mushrooms at our wedding reception, to a similar "WTF?" Like dude, there is a time and a place for this stuff, and a wedding is probably not it.

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  13. Um, I may or may not have pee-related horror story that I can't blame on cruel friends or alcohol. Only my sister and husband know what happened. Like this bride, I've pretty much blocked it out and still consider my wedding day to be the most fun day of my life. But yeah.

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