Friday, June 29, 2012

The groom invited his second wife

My friend was marrying her longtime boyfriend, the third marriage for the groom. He invited his second wife as they were on good terms and she could wrangle their young son who was in the wedding party. Before my friend walked down the aisle, the ex-wife drunkenly announced it was a good thing the bride was keeping her name cause there have been A LOT of Mrs. Hislastnames!

During the cocktail hour, my husband tucked a few singles into my palm before heading to the restroom. (To tip the bartender because he knows I never think to bring cash anywhere.) I gave him an appreciative kiss. The ex-wife appeared out of nowhere to damply whisper in my husband's ear, "Did you just pay her a dollar to kiss you? See what I'll do for you for TEN dollars."

It's worth noting that neither I nor my husband had ever met or been introduced to this woman.


What if I just sprinkled wedding horror stories throughout the blog all the time? Good idea or TERRIBLE IDEA?

39 comments:

  1. Good idea! It's good to have a little humor about these things, it helps us realize that one day isn't really all that important in the big scheme of things. Plus, doesn't everyone have SOME sort of crazy story from their wedding?

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  2. No no, sprinkling wedding horror stories throughout the blog is a FANTASTIC IDEA. Do it!

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  3. i LOVE the wedding horror stories - KEEP THEM COMING!!!

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  4. that is an amazing idea! yes please!! :)

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  5. i don't know, i don't necessarily hate the ex-wife in this scenario. i'd probably be a little bitter too if my ex-husband and the father of my child was marrying someone else, even if the split was relatively amicable and we were supposedly on good terms. i think this is the groom's bad for inviting her ...

    and i agree -- good idea.

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    1. I agree. There weren't any other family members who the child was familiar with to "wrangle him"? (Groom's parents, siblings, etc?) If I were the ex-wife in that scenario I'd be getting sloshed too.

      Please please please keep the horror stories coming!

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  6. GOOD IDEA! Except I miss your amazing illustrative photos to go with them.

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  7. Good idea! Plus seconding Meaghan.

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  8. i can't WAIT to be a second wife.

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  9. Yes, please keep these coming!

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  10. how does one have a young son from a previous marriage when one is marrying one's longtime girlfriend?

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    1. a six/seven/eight-year-old kid could need wrangling - plenty of time to divorce and be in a long-term relationship

      anyway whatever, this secondwife sounds like a joker

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    2. also - YES PLEASE as well

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  11. More horror stories please! I promise to contribute if (when?) one occurs at my own shindig.

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  12. that second wife sounds amazing

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  13. Some of the horror week stuff is fun, but some of them are extra depressing. I think maybe those can be left for more, uh...thoughtful? sites. Like, I really didn't like when the girl wrote in about how her engagement and wedding were the worst year of her life and people gave her a hard time about it (like, duh, she probably knows all of their advice in hindsight and doesn't need strangers being bitches about something that was awful for her).

    More than "horror" stories - I miss the if I were to get married now series. Please bring that back!

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    1. I agree, only funny horror stories, not sad ones.

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  14. all horror, all the time!!!!!!

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  15. great idea! yes to the horror!

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  16. I am loving the horror stories! Especially the scandalous, funny ones. The make me feel so much better about my relatively minor woes- like that I was so ridiculously hellbent on doing all the arranging myself- flowers etc, that I didn't have time to wash my freaking hair on my wedding day. Please, if people want to laugh/commiserate about their wedding disasters, I for one am happy to read them! In fact this may help future brides- as a disaster unfolds perhaps they'll be able to think "Well at least this will be a good story on ESB".

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  17. HA. This is amazing. Yes, please, more MORE MORE. I think THIS should be what your ESB podcast should be. Hilarious.

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  18. great idea! love these horror stories, and everyone has one!

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  19. BEST idea. It offers hilarity and perspective.

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  20. Excellent idea. Please carry on.

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  21. Not good idea. BEST IDEA EVER

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  22. YES! Hilarity, perspective and a place to vent!

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  23. Yes please to the ongoing horror stories!
    Jenny [long time blurker - love your writing]

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  24. Oh I could send you some good shit.

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