tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post5424366485131016638..comments2024-03-24T23:51:25.945-07:00Comments on east side bride: She didn't tell me I wasn't a bridesmaid...esbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00215882729011442570noreply@blogger.comBlogger55125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-41763591363625974052012-06-13T20:48:02.363-07:002012-06-13T20:48:02.363-07:00Actually, i think that being nice to people is an ...Actually, i think that being nice to people is an obligation - not all the time, no, and certainly her feelings are valid to a point. But having a go at the bride about it? she DOES have to take responsibility for such shitty behaviour. Saying that noone is responsible for anyone else's happiness is like a get out of jail free card for dickhead behaviour. You sure you're not the OP?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-51622034721107842292012-06-12T21:04:45.126-07:002012-06-12T21:04:45.126-07:00This same kind of deal happened to me a couple of ...This same kind of deal happened to me a couple of years ago. One of my very closest friends (who I had supported through numerous bad boyfriends and bad breakups) got engaged and didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid. She was one of mine and I just assumed that I would be hers eventually). Like you, she didn't tell me that I wasn't going to be in her wedding, I heard it from my best friend. It did hurt my feelings, but I went to the wedding and had a great time (and didn't have to wear an ugly bridesmaid dress). so go and have fun! Don't end a friendship over this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-71657025411434032622012-06-12T02:31:09.424-07:002012-06-12T02:31:09.424-07:00Oh please. You can tell the comments are flooded w...Oh please. You can tell the comments are flooded with Special Snowflake Brides when half of them want you to apologize for having hurt feelings.<br /><br />OP, you don't have to apologize for your feelings. You can be as mad as you want to be. You don't even have to go to the wedding. Keeping the bride happy is not your obligation, in fact, it's no one's obligation but the bride's herself.<br /><br />Look at it this way: they'll probably be divorced in five years anyway, and all this ridiculous pageantry will have been for naught.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-15734476121188174002012-06-12T02:24:56.080-07:002012-06-12T02:24:56.080-07:00FYI, doing a wedding reading is widely viewed as a...FYI, doing a wedding reading is widely viewed as an afterthought, no matter what ESB says.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-52177394757214050042012-06-08T09:11:13.550-07:002012-06-08T09:11:13.550-07:00Agreed. Wannabe-bridesmaid is being dramatic. Endi...Agreed. Wannabe-bridesmaid is being dramatic. Ending a friendship over this? Good lord.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01891863518234985106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-40378361264619585172012-06-08T07:27:13.830-07:002012-06-08T07:27:13.830-07:00I have three sisters, four friends that I've k...I have three sisters, four friends that I've known for thirty years, (we meet in preschool), and one soon to be SIL. I only want a small bridal party, who would you have me bump in order to accommodate a good friend who lives across the country that I've only known for a few years? Bridal parties are difficult under the best of circumstances. You should be ashamed for making it harder.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-77931926885365148102012-06-07T06:23:04.286-07:002012-06-07T06:23:04.286-07:00Do you realize how much you have probably stressed...Do you realize how much you have probably stressed the bride out? It sounds like you're being a really shitty friend, and she's probably very glad she didn't ask you to be a bridesmaid, what with all your self-centred pity and drama. <br /><br />Do her a favour and either suck it up, apologize and do the reading, or get the hell out of this poor woman's life. <br /><br />PS- Love is not a limited thing. People can have lots of friends and still have a ton of love for you. The sooner you realize that the better.Kareninahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06216956152861247290noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-47064458985209717002012-06-06T17:48:20.410-07:002012-06-06T17:48:20.410-07:00I chose my two bridesmaids for very specific and p...I chose my two bridesmaids for very specific and personal reasons (like most people, i guess). I knew another close friend might feel sad about it, so i told her in person and explained my reasons to her and we had a good long chat about it. I felt that it cleared the air and she seemed really cool about the reasons - which of course had nothing to do with her and were no slight on her at all. <br /><br />But she clearly wasn't ok with it and proceeded to have a full on snot-cry-tanty at my hens do. It was appalling. "whhhyyyy wasn't I a briiiiddeeesssmaaiidd" echoed through the halls. <br /><br />She turned up to our wedding two days later with a face like a smacked bum and frankly i wish she'd not bloody bothered.<br /><br />I get that you're disappointed, i totally get that, but if you can't suck it up and be gracious and accept the (not-pity) honour she has given to you then Don't Go to the Wedding. No one likes a dickhead at a wedding.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-79661745314137998622012-06-06T15:12:06.359-07:002012-06-06T15:12:06.359-07:00Yes.Yes.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-52696720988482198932012-06-06T14:45:01.318-07:002012-06-06T14:45:01.318-07:00Having bridesmaids creates such stupid drama. How ...Having bridesmaids creates such stupid drama. How tacky is it to line up your friends like you've rated them on a scale? So many feelings have been hurt and friendships lost and dark long festering animosities grown from this arcane practice. I'm so thankful I opted to not have any.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-15705969276198899232012-06-06T07:46:21.047-07:002012-06-06T07:46:21.047-07:00Amen.Amen.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-41727611868085603352012-06-06T00:28:15.057-07:002012-06-06T00:28:15.057-07:00Totally.Totally.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-61473632338628835902012-06-05T22:54:43.225-07:002012-06-05T22:54:43.225-07:00Why isn't this on MMOHIAC?
Lady, you need to...Why isn't this on MMOHIAC? <br /><br />Lady, you need to GROW UP.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-81030024577631719932012-06-05T22:49:48.884-07:002012-06-05T22:49:48.884-07:00Agreed!!Agreed!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-11858465711677003732012-06-05T21:27:57.903-07:002012-06-05T21:27:57.903-07:00You know, I get this. I have definitely pushed fri...You know, I get this. I have definitely pushed friends away (not for a wedding position) because I was jealous my "best" friend had other "best" friends and had finally realized it. <br /><br />One caveat: this happened in sixth grade.<br /><br />Grow up, read EVERY SINGLE ONE of these comments and then commit them to heart. Seriously, this is some fantastic (free) advice.r.http://blndlghts.tumblr.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-3881859868272608152012-06-05T18:44:57.012-07:002012-06-05T18:44:57.012-07:00You're being a huge jerk. You're willing t...You're being a huge jerk. You're willing to throw away a friendship (which is what "boycotting" someone's wedding is most certainly doing) because they hurt your feelings?? That's what happens in life--people hurt each other--then you fix it and move on. You're friend tried to fix it, and you're being a jerk in response. You don't boycott and end friendships because someone didn't ask you to wear a stupid pink taffeta dress. Grow up.Ms Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06990466546123333194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-17720019279758312372012-06-05T17:28:40.673-07:002012-06-05T17:28:40.673-07:00Here's the thing...people often determine thei...Here's the thing...people often determine their bridesmaids by the length they've known those people. So older friends tend to get picked over newer ones. I know it's a bummer and it hurts to find out that an important person in your life doesn't consider you as important as you consider them. Some people just have LOTS of friends. At my father-in-law's memorial one of his friends said, "I always considered him my best friend, and then once I arrived here I met all of his other best friends." There were probably easily a dozen people who considered him their best friend. And they all had different connections with him. <br /><br />You need to suck it up and get beyond it. If you're seriously considering severing the friendship over this, then it does make me wonder how close you were in the first place. Give that some thought.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-65759890359422400362012-06-05T16:56:56.525-07:002012-06-05T16:56:56.525-07:00Wow Friendless, you confronted her about the diss ...Wow Friendless, you confronted her about the diss and you guys had a huge fight and she still wants you to be involved in the wedding? Sounds like she's actually a really good friend who cares about maintaining your friendship.<br />So if you still want to be friends with her, go support her on her wedding day! (Also, maybe try to stop keeping score. Speaking from experience, all that does is make you miserable.)jwhittzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10612103569990080513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-39792250304274677582012-06-05T16:51:06.633-07:002012-06-05T16:51:06.633-07:00Ditto- Well this is much more nicely put than I wo...Ditto- Well this is much more nicely put than I would say it. <br /><br />You owe the lady an apology. Wedding planning and the friend/family dynamics involved can be VERY STRESSFUL. A good friend would be supportive, not pile on.<br /><br />If you value this friendship grow up before she outgrows you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-55455667500332549782012-06-05T16:46:07.014-07:002012-06-05T16:46:07.014-07:00I get that you feel crap about not being asked, bu...I get that you feel crap about not being asked, but at the end of the day, you don't get a say in who the bride chooses. The fact that you responded this way proves you weren't exactly in it for her, but yourself.<br /><br />The fact that there are 6 other girls she feels closer to is just the way it is - this isn't the playground where we have to list our top ten best friends. Get past it.<br /><br />It's ok to be hurt, but NONE of this is about you. Go to the wedding, be grateful for the reading, rock the reading, then enjoy the day - but keep in mind it's not an event thrown to make you happy - it's the couple's day. It's an honour to even be included on the guest list.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18437959136053836158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-4027499520527934042012-06-05T16:30:18.317-07:002012-06-05T16:30:18.317-07:00I was a bridesmaid in one of my very best friend&#...I was a bridesmaid in one of my very best friend's weddings. She had a girl who was in Austria until just before the wedding, one in Cali, one in DC, one in South Carolina, her cousin and MOH 2 hours away, and me half an hour down the road. She and I did a lot. I came last chronologically, and she asked me if I resented it. I told her it was abolsutely no place of mine to question who was a bridesmaid or came where in the order. It's her day. Don't make it about anyone else.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17780084666184827775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-89462073666569982862012-06-05T16:14:27.152-07:002012-06-05T16:14:27.152-07:00I was just coming here to say the exact same thing...I was just coming here to say the exact same thing! You get to be there for the wedding, celebrate the beautiful day, wear your own dress and you don't have to go through all the obligation of being in the wedding. As someone who is the maid of honor in a wedding two weeks from now, I would love to be in your position.Kate Knoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-89145774487107579572012-06-05T15:13:23.800-07:002012-06-05T15:13:23.800-07:00YES.YES.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-19954412826465068012012-06-05T14:45:54.147-07:002012-06-05T14:45:54.147-07:00agreed! and what is up with her boyfriend "bo...agreed! and what is up with her boyfriend "boycotting" the friend? these people sound lame. NEXTsachalouisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06455612961756667011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6468279200135971946.post-22474453945404822902012-06-05T13:41:25.607-07:002012-06-05T13:41:25.607-07:00OP, I say this from a place of love, but you might...OP, I say this from a place of love, but you might be kind of a big self-absorbed, co-dependent baby. You'd probably have more friends if you relaxed a little and weren't so rigid about labels and possession and keeping track of who is exactly reciprocating whose feelings.<br />Also, your friend's wedding decisions are about <i>her wedding</i>, not about you.Francesnoreply@blogger.com