Thursday, June 14, 2012
obsessing over the final numbers
My fiance and I are getting married very soon. We are getting SUPER excited, but I have a really strange guest list situation that I need to resolve. When we made our list months ago, my fiance included a couple who are his friends from undergrad. These friends live in Texas and the wedding is taking place in Chicago.
Among their group this couple is NOTORIOUS for saying that they'll be somewhere and then inexplicably not showing up. In fact, when they replied yes for our wedding another friend made the comment, "Don't believe them." Our final number is due to our caterer on Friday, and we would really like to avoid paying for people who are unlikely to actually show up. Last night my fiance asked what their travel plans are so we could decide to include them or not. They said they're planning to make the 20 hour drive, but they don't know when they're traveling, whether they'll take one or two days for the trip, and they have no reservations at a hotel or plans for lodging.
We think there's a less than 10% chance that they're actually going to follow through and be at the wedding. We all know that it's expensive to host a wedding, and we had to make some hard decisions about our guest list, so I think the difference of 2 people is significant enough to think about.
So here's my question: What do I do? Do I take them out of the final number, even though they say they're going to come? That doesn't seem ok to me. Can I include them in the final number, but invite a couple of other local friends at the last minute in the event that they decide to bail? Is that rude to the last-minute guests? Or just deal with it?
I'm not going to lie, I regret the decision to invite these people over other friends, but I'm wondering what's acceptable now that we're dealing with this situation.
Include the flakes in your final numbers (obvs) and prepare to be pleasantly surprised if they show.
Now go write your fucking vows. This is not something you should waste your energy on.
Photo: Zuzanna Bijoch by Catherine Servel