Sunday, June 24, 2012

twins.

my mother-in-law bought a dress almost identical to my wedding dress.

she was searching for a dress for months and continuously lamenting about how MY mother purchased the ONE color she intended to wear. this, despite having told me to let my mother pick first and then tell her so she would wear a different color. after months and months of, quote, ONLY finding dresses she liked in either blue or white (red flag #1) she purchased a pale (very pale pink and grey) floral, floor length gown. the only problem being, it was strapless, trumpet shaped, floor length and made of delicate, individual silk ribbons. it was literally, identical to my wedding dress in almost every way except for the color (my dress which she had seen and said she cried because of how beautiful it would look on me).

i freaked out and had to actually tell her i thought they might photograph too similarly and would make for odd photos. she returned it, but then continued to talk about how THEY WEREN'T THAT SIMILAR to anyone who would listen AT the actual wedding festivities.

19 comments:

  1. Uh that was wrong and not to be mean was done on purpose. You poor thing I would of made her take it back also.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Uh that was wrong and not to be mean was done on purpose. You poor thing I would of made her take it back also.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My mother-in-law purchased an ivory Vera Wang dress for my wedding, that other than being tea-length and a sliiightly different shade of ivory, was pretty much identical to my wedding dress. Who the hell buys an ivory wedding dress for a wedding?! As the mother-in-law?! Oh well, that ranks pretty low among her varieties of crazy behavior. The proof: http://i47.tinypic.com/3am9e.jpg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I get how annoying and disrespectful that is, but its also proof how there is no mistaking who the bride is. Still not okay, but you definitely know whose getting hitched.

      Delete
    2. Good god. I agree that you can tell who the bride is, but seriously, what complete and utter madness!

      Delete
    3. Yup. I was never concerned that people would mistake her for the bride (we only invited people we know, after all, and I'm the one saying the vows) but it was undeniably inconsiderate on her part. She described the dress to me in advance... I never threw a hissy fit or asked her to return it; I've just chalked it up as yet another crazy move by the MIL. ;)

      Delete
    4. My MIL told me she was wearing silver and white, with white flowers in her hair. I tried very hard not to say anything, but she worked it out and wore blue on the day. We haven't spoken about it ever.

      Delete
  4. My wedding was 13 months out. I hadn't even bought my dress yet or made a final decision on the venue. My MOTHER bought her dress, floor length gown all white skirt and black and white bodice (empire bodice). She "just knew" there was no way she'd find another dress she liked that much. People wear white/bridal looking dresses on purpose. And that bothers me way more than the dress or the pictures, it's the intention behind it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. How many colours in the rainbow!June 24, 2012 at 5:54 PM

    I didn't know this was so common! Why on earth would someone wear a colour in the "white-family" to a wedding. Even if the bride is a little alternate and tells you that she intends on wearing a black dress STOP PRETENDING IT'S YOUR SECOND WEDDING MOTHER-IN-LAWS!

    ReplyDelete
  6. If it's any consolation, that kind of behavior is usually very transparent and foolish-looking to everyone involved. I'm sure there was some side-eye.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely right. I went to a wedding last fall and the mother-in-law wore a floor length white satin gown. I overheard multiple guests remark about how ridiculous, rude, and pathetic it was of her to dress like that.

      Delete
    2. Hit the nail on the head. Those moms are only making fools of themselves!

      Delete
  7. I feel like there is a certain level of self-awareness that you can safely expect out of grown adults. So when they act completely oblivious to everyone else around them, like in this instance, it's confusing and difficult to know how to react/proceed. I would have thought she would have snapped out of it and realized her error, but maybe it will take a few years. Or maybe she's just really that self centered.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My future MIL has gone on and on about how she just found THE DRESS to wear to our wedding. (Her search was longer, more contentious, and much pickier than mine). "It's beatiful" "just right" "perfect." and so on.

    She shows me a picture and it's fucking white/ivory lace. At least it's short-ish. She originally wanted a long, floor length, practically bridal gown. I didn't even have to intervene with that one. My fiance was just like, "WHOA MOM. THAT'S A WEDDING DRESS."

    So she got the exact same thing but shorter. (eye roll).

    She ALWAYS has to be the center of attention, she's self absorbed, and VERY passive aggressive. And she's the kind of mom that passively doesn't like me because I'm "stealing her baby." So I'm not SURPRISED she's trying to usurp any spotlight she can manage.

    But I'm just crossing my fingers that everyone there will know and see her behavior. When it comes down to it, she can wear whatever the hell she wants. It's MY wedding day and I'M the bride. No color or dress will change that so it isn't worth fighting over and all of her drama that will follow. But I do hope my family and friends give her dirty looks the day of.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They probably will. You can't disguise that kind of jealousy.

      Delete
  9. I find this wearing white to a wedding just for attention thing so strange. Do these women really think it will work? Do they actually think it will steal the bride's thunder? I mean, what exactly are they hoping to achieve? Or maybe they're just doing it to piss the bride off. I just really, really don't understand it at all.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Is it possible that MOBs and FMILs simply don’t know HOW to dress for a wedding? How often do older women nowadays dress in formal wear? When you’re in your 20s and 30s it’s a lot easier to find a cute dress to wear to a friend’s wedding, but when you’re older and IN the wedding (be it giving the bride away or in the photographs) but not a bridesmaid (ie not told what to wear) it’s got to be hard to find something that doesn’t make you look too old, or too young-looking/racy, like you’re trying too hard, or in the right color (nothing to clash with the bridesmaid dresses, nothing to overshadow the bride, nothing in black b/c someone might think you’re mourning the wedding).

    ReplyDelete
  11. I picked my MIL's dress (and my mum's too!).no way was anybody wearing white to my wedding! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I hate it when someone is in the wrong and oblivious - and on top of it they need to tell everyone that they were right and your were wrong. My mom insisted that my engagement ring (a 1930's Art Deco ring, a family heirloom that belonged to my husband's great grandmother)should be soldered to my wedding band (a super cheap wedding band we got from a cheesy chain jeweler). There was no way in hell that I was going to solder a beautiful family heirloom to a cheap, crappy ring. And the art deco design did not have an even edge that would make this possible unless I got an expensive custom band (which we could not afford). I had to tell my mom several times that I was not going to take her advice and solder the rings together. Several times. Then at my bridal shower I kept hearing her tell people that I needed to solder my rings together. I finally stopped her mid-sentence to explain to everyone why that was not going to happen, and I started my rebuttal with "I've already told you..." to indicate that she was beating a dead horse. During my engagement and wedding, my mom kept trying to assert her parental authority in every absurd way possible, which I was not going to take as a grown-up woman who had been financially and emotionally independent from my family for years. These battles for authority made me feel like a stubborn teenager again. And because I felt like I was going through a second adolescence, I hated my engagement and wedding - even though I am so happy in my marriage now.

    I think this week of horror stories demonstrates that weddings bring out the worst in everyone. And sometimes the best. But mostly the worst.

    ReplyDelete