Monday, October 28, 2013
A not-quite-wedding question
I'm a fan of your blog, but I'm not planning on getting married anytime soon. At least, I thought I didn't want to.
In the past few months, I've gone to boring-ass wedding showers and a couple of weddings that seemed overly elaborate and definitely expensive. It's kind of turned me off to the idea of weddings and all of the hoopla that comes along with it.
My parents were very happily married for 30+ years (until my dad passed away a few years ago), and they set a great example for what I'd want if I ever did get married. And I used to want to. As I've gotten older, though, with shows like "Say Yes to the Dress," I've felt more wishy-washy about it -- after the wedding and the party and all of the thank-you cards have been sent, you're... still together. Maybe a new last name, definitely a lot of paperwork. People say it's different when you're actually married, but I'm just not understanding.
On top of that, my boyfriend doesn't think he wants to get married. (And I think he is my "person.") He quotes the "50% of marriages end in divorce" thing. And his parents are still married, but only because they're pretty religious and don't believe in divorce -- you can tell they just coexist and tolerate each other. He doesn't understand why your "partnership" has to be recognized by the government. I get that, but I also sort of get that it's more than that. I just can't explain to him what makes it so great, because I can't explain it myself.
I know there's a middle ground between foofy weddings and nothing at all, and I know if I did it I'd want to wear a reasonably affordable yet awesome wedding dress and just have a huge party with all of our friends and family that we actually like. Can you (or any of your readers) tell me what's so great about it, and help me form an actual opinion?
Thanks so much,
If you don't see the point and he doesn't think he wants to --> DON'T GET MARRIED
File this under non-problems. (Just below "The cat barfed on my dress.")
Tavi by Christophe Kutner for Metal Magazine #26