I've been reading your blog since I planned my friend's wedding two years ago, now I'm finally engaged.
My boyfriend proposed last month while on vacation. I want to start planning the wedding. He said doesn't want to have a wedding because it is outrageous to spend so much money on one day. I want to set a date (even if it's 2 yrs from now) but he says we have to save. What are we saving for if we just go to City Hall?
He says I'm rushing. After crying about it, I told him I want to have a wedding, he says okay but still is annoyed anytime I bring it up and says to give him time. If he's not ready, then why did he propose? I'm confused and sad.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 yrs. Yes it's a long time but we got together a month before I turned 18 so a good 6 of those years don't count. We don't live together. I was adamant about this since I was young and wanted to learn how to be alone. Did not want to live with someone until we were at least engaged. No kids. We are the longest relationship we know but most of his friends have kids, all of my friends are married with kids. I did not pressure him into wanting to get married (he will agree with this.) We will not get much financial help from family as we both make way more than our parents.
I was completely fine with our long-term relationship but I do not want a long-term engagement. We've discussed this. I am currently I'm in limbo until he says he is ready. I feel like a fraud wearing this ring. Every day someone ask me about a wedding and have to lie that we are taking our time to save but I really don't know why we are taking our time. We took the "next step" but nothing has changed.
Ladyfriend, you've been with this guy for TEN YEARS and you don't have the guts to ask "Why did you propose if you're not ready to get married?"
I suspect he wants to live with you. (Or: Sleep with you. Are you sleeping together??) His next step is maybe not the same as your next step. But you'll never know until you ask.
Camille Vivier for AnOther Magazine via Bird Production