My first draft read something like WHAT ARE YOU CIRCUS PERFORMERS? ICE DANCERS?? / I don't know how to help you.
But then I found the Reese photo, which led to the (much too subtle, apparently) elephant joke, and also I found that fucking Free People dress, which seemed like exactly what the OP was looking for.... But it's not my job to give you what you think you're looking for. It's my job to give you what you NEED.
You do not need to wear a skating dress in a wedding. Not even if you're The Dream Team.
Sooooooooo. I will go back to recommending sack dresses or whatever and stop fucking pandering.
ondria hardin by paolo roversi for dazed & confused july 2013 via Enid Hwang