I've been reading your blog for the past few weeks as conversations with my boyfriend have started to turn toward marriage. We've been dating for 11 months, live together, are about to embark on renovating my house together. We talk big picture all the time, like about marriage, kids, house money, etc.
My reason for concern is that we have not talked about the small picture stuff -- like the proposal and engagement ring! I get that guys want the proposal to be a secret and I am concerned that he thinks he should just pick out a ring himself, since he has not mentioned engagement rings once in conversations about other items we're saving for (a juicer, a kayak, etc), not asked me to recommend jewelry I like, nothing. I know how to subtly drop hints about the wedding but don't know how to subtly say BUY ME A RING.
Should I be worried that we haven't chatted about the timing of engagement? And more to the point, how do I get the ring I want? Particularly, I don't want a solitaire diamond.
PS I don't want to sound like a materialistic bitch -- I want a small, cheap wedding, etc. I just figure if I'm going to wear a ring for the rest of my life, I want to get the right one, you know?
There is no subtle way to say BUY ME A RING.
You can, however, tell your boyfriend "Just so you know… If and when we do get engaged… I don't want a diamond solitaire!"
And then show him what that is, because men are stupid. And then maaaaaaybe, if he's not stupid, he'll say "Well, what kind of ring would you want?"
Mirage by Beth Hoeckel