Monday, July 8, 2013
Can I Uninvite My Dad?
First, I would like to say thank you for bringing humor and snark to the wedding planning process. I probably shouldn't admit that I read around 7 wedding blogs a day but yours is always the first. I'm hoping that you will have some advice for me.
My dad left when I was young, stopped paying child support and overall just kind of sucked at the whole being a dad thing. I was angry with him for most of my teens and early twenties but I decided that the anger was really only hurting me and that I needed to accept him for who he is if I'm going to have him as part of my life. Since doing that our relationship is okay, not great. Long before I was ever engaged I decided that I would have my mom (who is awesome) walk me down the aisle for my wedding but I always dreaded having to tell my dad. However, when the time came I pulled up my big girl pants and we went to lunch and I told him how I felt. It was a good talk and he was supportive of my decision and even offered to give me a small(ish) amount of money to help with the wedding. He also asked for a father daughter dance and I agreed.
Fast forward 8 months later, my wedding is only 2 months away and he has given me a quarter of the money that he promised and has overall been avoiding me and flaking out on any plans. I confronted him about it and he apologized but said that my grandmother (his mom) and my stepmom are "pissed" about the wedding and that is why he hasn't given me the money and has been avoiding me. We had lunch shortly after and he explained that my stepmom basically doesn't think that I deserve any money from him (I guess that's why he never paid child support). At this lunch he told me that we would have dinner with my stepmom to work things out that that he would definitely give me the money.
Now it's two weeks later and nothing has happened and he's basically avoiding me again. It really isn't (and never was) about the money but now I sort of feel like I keep giving him chances because we really could use the extra money for the wedding. My sister and my mom want me to cut all ties with him and uninvite them to the wedding and my fiance is starting to be on the same page. I'm torn, can I just uninvite my dad to my wedding?
P.S. The amount of money is basically enough to cover the cost of attendance for the 6 members of his family.
Do you want to sever all ties?
Do you want your dad out of your life FOREVER?
He's clearly not the one holding the checkbook, and also he is a complete wuss, and that sucks.
But if you rescind their invitation to the wedding you will just be validating what your stepmother has told him all along: you don't deserve the money.
TAVI by Petra Collins via Pamela Love