Tuesday, September 18, 2012
blah blah blah wedding, blah blah blah money
From the beginning, my fiance and I really wanted a small, low-key backyard wedding. We live in an urban apartment with no yard, so that was out. My parents are divorced and both remarried, and both offered up their backyards, but I know that weird divorce issues would arise for all parties involved if I chose one or the other of their homes. So those were out too. BUT... my fiance's parents have a beautiful winter home in Arizona with a desert-y backyard, patio and pool. It's perfect for an early spring wedding, and they generously offered the space to us. We talked to my parents about it (my parents are paying for the wedding), and they thought it was a lovely idea so we excitedly accepted their offer. Everyone's excited.
My question is this. I am feeling concerned about how much my future in-laws will be contributing to this wedding, by virtue of it being at their home. Even though my parents will pay for the whole wedding and we will be there to do all the manual labor of setup/cleanup/etc, I know my in-laws will still spend lots of time and energy getting the house ready, and I'm sure they'll be spending money on things that they won't even tell us about. It's a huge contribution that they're making. So, should they also be responsible for hosting a rehearsal dinner? I know they are planning to, but should my parents offer to contribute to that, since my in-laws will be contributing so much to the wedding?
And, if it WOULD be good etiquette for my parents to offer to contribute to the rehearsal dinner, how do I suggest that to them? It seems kind of rude for me to go around making suggestions for what my parents should do with their money, which they are so generously spending on us. (I guess I should say here that both my fiance and I are in our early 30s, and we already feel weird about my parents paying for our wedding, but that's what they wanted!) Is it rude for me to ask my parents to also offer to cough up for the rehearsal dinner? Should I just let them do what they think is appropriate and keep my mouth shut?
I Hate Money Stuff
YOU should offer to pay for the rehearsal dinner.
I Hate Money Too But There It Is
COMME des GARÇONS by Daniele Duella + Iango Henzi for i-D