Tuesday, May 29, 2012
I must admit, I've been an avid reader of your blog, beginning in my planning stages of my wedding up until now -- almost a year and a half after the wedding went down. Not to mention, it's the only weddingish blog I still keep up with. You're awesome.
Now, I never thought I'd be writing you, especially because I'm done with all that wedding stuff... right?
Wrong. Here's the thing.... I am supposed to be a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding. The date is set for the end of September. I just found out that I'm pregnant.... and get this: I'm due at the end of September. She even said to me a while back: "Just don't get pregnant right now and miss my wedding!" Oops. (This isn't an "intentional" baby, though, so I wasn't acting maliciously?)
a) Call her up and politely resign as bridesmaid, telling her I'll still be as actively involved as possible, (ie: I'll go to her bridal shower, but I won't go to all bridesmaid events, and maybe I'll fashion some DIY things for her because she's into that whole thing), but I will definitely miss the big day.
b) Still be a "bridesmaid," for the duration of her planning time, but just not be at the wedding. (This involves several 10 hour car rides, and potentially a few flights to be present at all important bridesmaid-required events plus all of the other things she would have me do).
c) Call her up and politely resign from all bridesmaid duties, explaining that planning to have a baby is enough in itself to drive a woman mad, and frankly, I only have a limited amount of sanity to go around.
d) Call her and ask her what she wants my role to be and leave myself in the problematic position of letting her make the final call, trusting that she would pick something that will both help her plan her wedding, and still allow me to stay sane.
Not to mention, I have a sneaking suspicion that she'll be greatly distressed about my baby news, and that kills me a little bit too because under any other circumstance I know that she'd be overjoyed about it. Not that she's a bridezilla or anything, but she definitely wants her day to be her day, and I don't blame her.
I love her, and I want to support her in her marriage to this super cool guy (who, I might add, my husband and I introduced her to), but I don't want to ruin our relationship because I can't actually be involved on the day of her wedding. I can be supportive ahead of time, right?
Any insight would be most appreciated.
Um, yeah. This is your best friend?? She's gonna be uber bummed that you're missing her wedding.
You can't just RESIGN, lady. I don't care how fat/tired you are. And asking her "what she wants your role to be" is super passive-aggressive. She wants you to be her fucking bridesmaid.
Which leaves us with b) Still be a bridesmaid.
If they take a 10 hour car ride to Vegas in your eighth month, then obviously you've got an excuse to bail. But, I mean, come on. What are all these fucking duties that all these brides are dumping on their fucking friends??
Joshua Scott Toy Font via Trendland