Wednesday, May 2, 2012

On house hunting


Take a look at the photo above.

Your first thought is: "CUTE!" Right?

Unless you are house hunting. 

If you are house hunting, before your brain can even fire on "CUTE!" you will think:

"The roof must be rotting under that grass."

"Bummer, only three windows."

"Is there parking??"

We've been house hunting for nine months now. It was casual until April, when my apartment in NYC finally sold. Now we are READY TO FUCKING PULL THE TRIGGER, but every cute house (in our price range, obvs) seems to have a slew of issues. Either that, or we get outbid. Or, you know, both.

Photo via The Shiny Squirrel. Does anyone know who took it?

34 comments:

  1. house-hunting is the new procreating. when did that happen? (i have a lot more experience with it, so i'm down.)

    you're still in on the giant fort we're all going to buy together when we're old, right? the library and communal meals are going to be amazing.

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    1. right??

      speaking of that: thank god i don't have to worry about fucking schools. it's hard enough to find the outdoor space and the view and the light and the parking ....

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    2. Same here! Been looking for 8 months. Doesn't help when your realtor and bf both did construction and were handymen at one point either.

      The latest house we wanted to put a bid on wasn't taking anymore offers since there were so many, even after being on the market for only 3 days :S

      Best wishes to your search, hope you find something soon!

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    3. WHY DO I ALWAYS FAIL AT COMMENTING HERE??? Lol, that was supposed to be a new comment. I swear I'm not this much of an idiot irl.

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    4. In the Bay Area it feels like the premium you pay for a good school district is equal to the cost of several years of private school (although if you put the money into a house you at least get it back on day, in theory.) the only reason I can even think about buying right now is that I don't have to think about schools AT ALL. Thank God.m

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    5. OH YES, let's continue the discussion about schools in the bay area, shall we? #fml

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  2. Girl I feel you. We've been in house hunting limbo for a few months (we got in just at the moment our market started "heating up" and now every crappy bungalow has a bidding war).

    The most annoying part for me is that I don't want to put any more effort into fixing up our apartment--formerly one of my favorite hobbies--but there are still things that really annoy me/are broken or missing, and I guess just have to live with them until we find a damn house.

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    1. And before any one says it, yes, first-world problems. I am aware.

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  3. This is so hysterically, awfully spot-on. Good luck in the hunt, ESB.

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  4. My first thought was actually 'can you imagine how many nasty spiders and god-awful insects you'd get in the house' (not good with anything that has more than 4 legs) followed quickly by 'crap, I'd constantly be worried about landslides' (I'm a great believer in worrying, and that if you don't have anything to actually worry about you should really be indulging in some recreational worrying).
    Oh and, yeah, the house buying thing. Had an offer accepted on a house we want to buy in January...now looking like it's going to be October (at the earliest) that our vendors will be able to move by. It sucks. But good luck ESB! I'm told it's all worth it in the end.

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  5. Yes, and then you see a price in your range and immediately say "Oh, that must be in a TERRIBLE location" because no neighborhood that is even remotely walkable is anywhere near affordable.

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    1. yep anything in our zip code we can afford is LITERALLY located directly above an auto-body shop (downtown views!) or directly underneath the freeway.

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    2. And I love when they bill those as having "freeway access!". Like having an offramp in your front yard is a huuuuuge advantage. We get a notification of a house, see the price and the street name and immediately try to guess where it is north/south wise. It is almost always south of Wilshire, very, very close to the 10. Sweeeet.

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  6. House hunting rules:
    a) everything is out of your price range regardless of the range.
    b) the perfect house is the one that has the SOLD sign on the sign next to the one you came to look at.
    c) all the neighbors seem nice at first.
    d) something will always be wrong.
    e) the perfect house is always in the wrong location.
    f) once you move in you'll find you can't put the whatever where you want because the sun will or won't shine where you want it to.
    g) etc
    h) etc
    i) etc
    ......
    tzyh) all rules are true unless it is The Little Yellow House.

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    1. Aw. It took us months to find it, though.

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  7. Replies
    1. probably. my apartment's amazing and i love everyone uncritically and unequivocally.

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    2. oh nice, i should try this.

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  8. Reading stories like these (and Celia's on her blog awhile back) makes me so thankful that I am (and will be, for the foreseeable future) a renter. Buying a house makes no sense at all for us, and for that I am glad. It sounds god-awful.

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    1. that's EXACTLY what i used to say, lauren. just wait 'til you hit your 30s, homeslice. JUST. YOU. WAIT.

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    2. that's what Celia used to say like TWO YEARS AGO.

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    3. It's still what I'm saying and I am 33. Everyone in CHI that I know who has bought a place has either regretted it or already outgrown it.

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    4. I'm 33 and also still saying it. It doesn't make the best sense for us financially and I don't have that emotional WANT for a house that so many people seem to have!

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  9. hunting is seriously the worst.

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  10. we have ONE place left to see in our price range that isn't past the freeway in meth-town or down by the airport in gang-wars-land. we have seen EVERYTHING else that is currently listed and there have been no new listings that fall under our qualifications in almost two weeks. i'm sure you can only imagine the blubbering, sobbing, crazed mess i've been as of late. let's just say the time for prozac is NOW.

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    1. the problem is, because prices are down everyone is WITHHOLDING INVENTORY.

      i'm trying to be patient, but it's killing me.

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    2. no, i know. just the other day i said to joe, "there's no fucking way *i* would sell my house right now."

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  12. What do you think about Highland Park? It isn't especially walkable yet, but the houses there seem to be pretty inexpensive.

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  13. House hunting is the worst. i never got real bridezilla but i turned into a crazy house hunting monster...at one point i even convinced myself for 10 seconds that my bff put an offer on a house we wanted (she was looking same place/same location/price)....good luck lady!! I feel your pain

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  14. House hunting is the worst. i never got real bridezilla but i turned into a crazy house hunting monster...at one point i even convinced myself for 10 seconds that my bff put an offer on a house we wanted (she was looking same place/same location/price)....good luck lady!! I feel your pain

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  15. House hunting is the worst. i never got real bridezilla but i turned into a crazy house hunting monster...at one point i even convinced myself for 10 seconds that my bff put an offer on a house we wanted (she was looking same place/same location/price)....good luck lady!! I feel your pain

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  16. HxP is my hood, and it's just as dry as everywhere else, thanks to the flippers.

    We've been looking to buy here too, and it's straight up depressing that we can't seem to get our hands on anything affordable and without a horizontal fence in front.

    Don't let the gangs scare you off. Once you see your first shooting, it's no big deal.

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