I come from a very colorful family, part of which is made up of my step-dad's super crazy, ultra-waspy extended family. Having holiday dinners with them is like hanging out with Lucille Bluth, Sue Sylvester, and Napoleon Dynamite all at the same time.
Enter my cousin. She's getting married in September to a man she met online and conned into marrying her. (I'm not exaggerating. After three or four dates he said, "I could see myself spending forever with you" and she immediately started making a guest list for the wedding. She is cray cray.)
My sister and I have been looking forward to this shitshow for months (my cousin is spoiled and mean, so we've channeled our bitterness into quietly hating her behind her back) but the problem is that I now live on the opposite side of the country. On the one hand, I know I should go because my family will be there and it's one of the few times I'll get to see the nicer parts of my step-dad's family. On the other hand, the only reason I actually WANT to go is because I know it will be a trainwreck and because my sister and mom will murder me if I don't share this moment with them.
So, is it ok to spend upwards of $1K to fly out for a wedding that I've mostly made fun of for 7 months and only want to witness with the kind of motivation usually reserved for watching The Jersey Shore?
P.S. She's getting married on the anniversary of the day her mom died. While I definitely can appreciate a tribute to a loved one, the day she died?
*****
There's no rule that says You May Only Attend A Wedding If Your Heart Is Pure And You Have Nothing But The Sincerest Well Wishes For The Happy Couple.
I mean. This sh*t is going down in the family history books. How can you miss it??
Photo by Kai Z Feng via Fashion Gone Rogue
if you don't go you will probably regret missing it.
ReplyDeleteand anyway, think of it as money spent on entertainment and seeing your family?
on second thought, $1000 to see a wedding you aren't actually interested in... I don't think it's worth it. I've definitely gone to weddings more to see what happens than anything, but they were close and convenient. I wouldn't go out of my way for them.
DeleteI'd much rather go out of my way and spend a lot of money to see someone I REALLY cared about get married.
Do you have a plus one? This sounds like a once in a lifetime event.
ReplyDeleteAlso, he said that after 3 or 4 dates? Sounds cray cray, too.
That was my thought. She conned him? He sounds like he was the crazy initiator.
DeleteIt doesn't sound like one of those situations that would warrant going into debt to attend, but if you have the money, why not? If you don't, it sounds like she'll probably have another wedding in her day. You can catch that one.
ReplyDeleteGo! And then ask ESB what to wear! And report back!
ReplyDeleteairmiles? points? can you borrow them from someone else? cray cray people = cray cray wedding and you KNOW your family will be talking about it for ever. If you're not there you'll have to hear the same stories from other people for the rest of your life. Much better to witness it first hand :D
ReplyDeleteHaving been in a shit show family wedding, it's 100% worth it.
ReplyDeleteDO IT. For the stories alone, it sounds worth it.
ReplyDeleteBut for the love of god, keep a happy face plastered on the whole time, no matter how hilariously bad it is. You don't want to be the total asshole smirking in the back. That just makes you look bad.
Crazy family members are exactly what make weddings worth attending. Just go. You don't want to be the only one who missed out on the joke.
ReplyDeletePLEASE go and report back to us!! Totally worth it!!
ReplyDeleteCan I come?!
ReplyDeleteGO. And wear SEQUINS.
ReplyDeleteRun towards that wedding as fast as you can.
ReplyDelete(But this advice is coming from someone who unashamedly loves Jersey Shore, so.)
this photo
ReplyDeleteAre you sure this isn't the same person as the 'my spoilt cousin is having her wedding on my birthday'?
ReplyDeleteThis letter made me feel ill.
Whenever someone is described as being 'spoilt' the first thing that pops into my head is 'jealous'.
Go spread your hate wherever you want. If you wanna spend $1000 being bitter at your own cousins wedding, go ahead. You can do it much cheaper in your own hometown though.
Different author from the birthday wedding. But yes, I'm totally bitter. My cousin has never had to pay her way for anything in her life. Not college, not her wedding, I don't even know if she paid for her own house. My husband and I were together for 7 years and scraped to pay for our wedding. Why shouldn't I be a little jealous that my cousin is getting a fully funded wedding for a something that came to fruition over the course of five weeks?
DeleteMy grandparents are footing the bill, and even my grandfather admits that the whole thing is a sham.
Though I promise I won't be bitter at her wedding. I'll be drunk.
Crowd source the $1000 and write an ESB "special report".
ReplyDeleteI'll throw in $50.
DeleteDO IT.
ReplyDeleteYou can't miss this shit. You will totally regret it.
I mean... this is her wedding, so try to remain civil the whole time BUT DEFINITELY DO NOT MISS IT.
ReplyDelete