Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Dear ESB: My Cousin is Cray Cray
I come from a very colorful family, part of which is made up of my step-dad's super crazy, ultra-waspy extended family. Having holiday dinners with them is like hanging out with Lucille Bluth, Sue Sylvester, and Napoleon Dynamite all at the same time.
Enter my cousin. She's getting married in September to a man she met online and conned into marrying her. (I'm not exaggerating. After three or four dates he said, "I could see myself spending forever with you" and she immediately started making a guest list for the wedding. She is cray cray.)
My sister and I have been looking forward to this shitshow for months (my cousin is spoiled and mean, so we've channeled our bitterness into quietly hating her behind her back) but the problem is that I now live on the opposite side of the country. On the one hand, I know I should go because my family will be there and it's one of the few times I'll get to see the nicer parts of my step-dad's family. On the other hand, the only reason I actually WANT to go is because I know it will be a trainwreck and because my sister and mom will murder me if I don't share this moment with them.
So, is it ok to spend upwards of $1K to fly out for a wedding that I've mostly made fun of for 7 months and only want to witness with the kind of motivation usually reserved for watching The Jersey Shore?
P.S. She's getting married on the anniversary of the day her mom died. While I definitely can appreciate a tribute to a loved one, the day she died?
There's no rule that says You May Only Attend A Wedding If Your Heart Is Pure And You Have Nothing But The Sincerest Well Wishes For The Happy Couple.
I mean. This sh*t is going down in the family history books. How can you miss it??
Photo by Kai Z Feng via Fashion Gone Rogue