Dear East Side Bride,
caution: lots of Catholic guilt to follow.
Evening garden wedding is in 5 months and my grandfather is critically ill in his final stages of cancer. I moved my wedding to my hometown of Miami to make it easier for the older generation to attend, and am crossing my finger so that they all make it.
Don Mario (Lilo to his grandchildren) is the quintessential grumpy old man. As far as I can tell, he only likes his mini-Daschund, Rambo (which had to find a new home a few months ago), reciting poetry at dinner parties, and his orchid garden, which he can no longer tend to. Everything else under the sun, he hates. Quite sure that he has never told me he loves me, but know that deep down in that old Cuban heart of his, he does. I am, after all, the youngest daughter of his deceased [only] son.
I was told about a few weeks ago that he cries whenever the subject of my wedding comes up because he thinks he will not be able to make it. Lilo, crying? I was completely shocked. And also surprised by the sadness it brought up in me.
Cut to me visiting him in the hospital room last week. First and only words, "Did you try on THE dress?" What dress? "Your cousin's dress. It will look so beautiful on you...your uncle told me you can have it. I heard they paid $16,000!"
Followed-up by a phone call from my aunt an hour later, describing said "Vera Wang" dress and how I had to go try it on that weekend.
So kind and gracious of them all, no? On goes the dress, my mother, aunt, cousin all ooohing and aaahhing, and I am freaking the fuck out because I look like a bride. The ivory lace dress (not Wang, but L’Hullier) is quite beautiful. Something Grace Kelly would have worn. And to Lilo's credit, it fits like a glove. But it is incredibly traditional, and just not the dress I would have chosen for myself. I pictured something short, vintage, silver, I don't know, ANYTHING but long and white and lace.
I agree with you that it is obnoxious to have a wardrobe change mid-game, but should an exception be made in this case? I wear the dress for 30 minute ceremony and swap it for a more glamorous party dress that is more me? Am I a total brat for not jumping for joy at a free (beautiful) dress or am I not being true to myself if I actually go through with wearing it? Or both?
p.s. already going against family wishes by outdoor v. church ceremony...
Fuck that dress.
It belonged to your cousin?
Bambi Northwood-Blyth by Tierney Gearon for 10 Magazine via because im addicted via Studded Hearts