Friday, January 28, 2011

Should I JUST KNOW when I put it on?

Dear ESB,

I am having a hard time narrowing down the dress. I've tried on several and really like, love several. People keep telling me "you'll just KNOW when you put it on." The thing is, I don't. 

I don't want to keep dragging friends and family around with me for various opinions. Should I just buy one of the ones I already love or keep hoping there will be a moment where doves fly outta the dressing room and I JUST KNOW?


The whole "you'll just KNOW" thing was fabricated by the ladies of Kleinfeld.

The saleswomen* put the BTB in their top pick -- at the top of her budget -- first. She just knows because the dress looks great on her, and it's the first time she sees herself as a bride. Swoon.

But it didn't happen like this for you. (Or you didn't fall for it.) Now the more dresses you try on, the more confused you're going to get.


Go back and put on the top three you already love, get a friend to take photos, and just PICK ONE.

(Image via Charles Hall -- that man Pinterests up a STORM -- via Fleet Ilya)

*And man, there's one man.


  1. hahahaha! awesome response, esb, made me laugh out loud. the whole kleinfeld thing is srsly such a scam.

    but, have you at least narrowed down the STYLE of dress that looks best on you? that is sometimes the trickiest part...once you have figured that out, you can walk into a store and say "bring be ONLY a-lines with sleeves" and you won't find yourself being overwhelmed by tons of totally different kinds dresses. You'll be able to focus on the details of each dress more.

    also, go out to stores by yourself or with ONE person you trust. Dragging an entourage along will only raise stress levels and everyone's opinions will cloud your own judgment.

    i think you WILL have a moment where you look in the mirror and see yourself in a new way (at least, i did. and i never thought i'd be the "kind of girl" to have a "dress moment")'ll be able to picture your fiance's face when he sees you for the first time, and you'll just feel like a bride. the right dress won't upstage you, it will enhance you. It will show off your most favorite things about you. The right dress will (SHOULD) definitely do this for you, so be patient with the process, and don't give up too soon.

  2. I don't know....i was that bride. I guess it depends really how many dresses has this gal tried on? I tried on 70 dresses before I found the one I wore on my wedding day. I was THAT bride. I frustrated bridal consultants everywhere. I almost bought a dress because i had finally found two that I really did like. But i couldn't decide between them and I had this anxious feeling in my stomach when I thought about having to pick. Then I tried on the dress I ended up getting married in and didn't have a crying fit or anything...but it was the first dress I practiced dancing to Journey in....and I felt excited instead of anxious. I really do think you know. Maybe you won't cry and swoon and get all sentimental....but you should be excited about it! Like, REALLY excited.

  3. You aren't marrying your dress. You're marrying your partner.

    Pick a dress you like and you look good in. Take pics and look at them on a computer before you buy - I would have bought a different dress had I not looked at the pics.

  4. true true. the whole "you just know" thing is crap. with THOUSANDS of wedding dresses out there, if you try on a decent number, quite a few are bound to look good on you. i agree with tonia... go by yourself or one friend who you know will be honest with you and you think has great taste. although i didn't buy my dress (i had it made), i did the whole process by myself because i didn't want other opinions jumbling my brain. at the end of the day, YOU know what makes you feel and look the best.

  5. Ha. The first dress I tried on, I thought was "the one," too. It was a mermaid with tiered ruffles. It was a cool dress, there was no train, and it was inexpensive. But. I'm not a ruffle kind of girl. I'm an antique lace kind of girl. I didn't want a cathedral train, but I wanted lace, I knew that.

    Plus, I had problems with the construction of the dress. The zipper was cheap (they blamed it on being the sample dress, which I'm sure didn't help, but still), and the shop owner just wanted to "take off the bottom tier" when altering it to my 5'2" frame. Uhhh ... no. I wish I cold find a picture of it, but it only had three large tiers of ruffles. Removing the last one would have ruined the integrity of the dress.

    It just spelled disaster. And yet, I still feel a little giddy when I think about that dress, because I looked like curvacious goddess in this dress. I honestly thought I'd look awful in a mermaid, and I rocked it.

    So ... I ended up with a lacy dropped waist trumpet style, instead. With a company that does hollow to hem, which for me was kind of important. I got lots of compliments on it, though if I were to do it all again, I might go with a short 50s frock and a birdcage veil. And if I had done that, maybe now I'd be saying I would have done something different than that. Who knows? I like clothes, so for me there were always going to be 15 possible "ones."

  6. Bollocks, how do you know?

    Like Celia, I had my dress made, I didn't try anything on I just had a vague idea of what I wanted and what I think I look good in.

    The idea of traipsing round trying on hundreds of dresses was not my idea of fun.

    My dress lady made me happy.

  7. Hahaha! So true! I love Jessica's comment!

    I just bought a dress online without trying it on.

  8. SO TRUE! i thought exactly the same thing. i ended up liking 3 really badly, but none seemed like "the one" because that shit is a myth. and ya know the whole crying thing they do on "say yes to the dress"? well, i cried when i was still going to get 15% off the dress i finally decided to purchase. HA!

  9. I just bought my dress yesterday, and after trying on 50+ dresses, I didnt have an "OMG" moment. Its like buying ANYTHING. You consider the options, and pick the one you think works best. The perfect dress is like the perfect man, a myth. Pick something that you can live with, and move on to SHOES!

  10. I definitely think you can have amazing shopping moments, whether wedding related or not. I've never cried in the dressing room, but sometimes I'll try something on and just feel amazing and right and I buy it even if it wasn't what I was looking for. So maybe some people have a shopping moment while wedding dress shopping?

    Buuuut ... you cannot hold out for amazing shopping moments, either in real life or in weddings. Most of the time you just find something you really like, that works well and you need it. Otherwise you'd be very stressed out and naked most of the time.

  11. I tried on what felt like 100 dresses. That whole teary eyed moment bizness is pure lies. I ended up buying one that I am ok with, but it isn't my dream dress or anything. I found lots of pictures of dresses I liked but never found them in stores because they were out of style. Anyway, try on different styles and if you still can't find one you like, just go with the one that you're ok with. Trying on dresses only to see the same ones over and over at different stores is annoying