Thursday, January 6, 2011
Am I being over-sensitive?
My parents divorced centuries ago, and my dad has been in a relationship with a woman in another country for a few years now. Right after our wedding at the end of february he is packing up and moving overseas to live with her. We have met his new partner a couple of times, the most recent being at my uncle's 50th birthday party, which she flew in for. On this trip she was being (almost over-the-top) nice to us, and clearly trying to make a good impression.
So imagine my surprise when I found out she wasn't planning to come to our wedding!! The first reason my dad gave was that she couldn't get time off work. Not buying this. She lives a 3 hour flight away, the wedding is Saturday afternoon. Completely feasible to do without taking time off. Then he said she wasn't comfortable around people she doesn't know. I think this is closer to the truth, but REALLY? She managed for my uncle's birthday!!
I feel quite offended about this, as does my fiance. My father is packing up his life and moving to another country for her (for the record I have no issues with this, and am glad he has found someone who makes him happy). Surely the least she could do is come to his daughter's wedding, especially as I know that he would like her to come.
My fiance really wants to tell her "if you don't come we will take that as an indication that you don't want any part of our lives and you won't be welcome in the future"
Is this too extreme? Is there any way that we could get her to come?
My guess is that your dad's lady is not prepared to meet your mother (I.E. your dad's ex-wife).
You can tell her "It would mean a lot to us if you came." But giving her an ultimatum is WAY TOO EXTREME.
It's just a wedding. Srsly.
(Image via Laurel Thompson)