Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Are we total jagoffs?

Dear ESB,

A young man of my and my fiance's acquaintance, who is part of a larger group of friends, moved away some time ago. We were relieved, as this meant, we decided, that we could leave him off the invitation list. He's not our favorite person, and we haven't seen or heard from him in many months, now.

He recently emailed saying that a friend of ours had mentioned our wedding date and asking for some clarity so that he could make plans. Are we total jagoffs who deserve to be outcast from all good society? Should we just invite the guy and smile nicely, or can we say something like, sorry, dude, due to the size of my crazy family, we've had to limit friends (which is only partially true, as we are inviting several out of town friends, who he knows).

Help please.

Unappreciative of Free Love, I Guess.



You haven't heard from him in months, and suddenly he's emailing you to get the dets on the free booze? Fuck that. 

You should only ever invite your favorite people to your wedding.


(Photo by Rosie Hardy via Charles Hall)


  1. "You should only ever invite your favorite people to your wedding."

    best. wedding. advice. ever.

  2. it is far ruder for him to ask about his invitation than for you to not invite him. this is not your 7th grade birthday party. you do not have to invite your whole class.

  3. for REAL. if i had a quarter for every girl who asked me "can i be your bridesmaid?" i'd have a dollar.

    people are so rude about weddings sometimes...but you're not being rude if you just reject their rudeness, yeah?

  4. Doesnt sound like you'll be affected at all if he hates your guts.

  5. Obviously don't invite him. If you don't like him he shouldn't come.

    Don't ignore him though he sounds like the kind of guy who would just turn up.

  6. "this is not your 7th grade birthday party. you do not have to invite your whole class." = YESSS. geez.

  7. i have a completely unrelated question... are you from pittsburgh??? because only pittsburghers use the term "jagoff"

  8. A guy that used to be in our circle of friends who moved away came uninvited to our engagement party. Upon leaving he gave me a sticky note with his new address so that we could invite him. So. Not. Invited.

  9. to esb: yup. yes. correct.

    to uflig: he sounds like a jagoff himself, not you.

  10. Sweet. Does this mean I can not invite my fiance's bro's girlfriend, who likes to baby talk to show she is a whole three years younger than him? She def does not make it on my list of favorites...

  11. Amen sister. I say cut that dumbass out of your life completely.

  12. Reply to his email and say, "Suck an egg, sisterf*cker." That's what the Mongolians would say. And no one messes with the Mongolians. Fact.

  13. We got round this one by having a time cut off, as in if we hadn't seen, spoken or emailed them within a year they couldn't come. You could apply similar to this guy. He obviously isn't a close friend...or even a friend!

  14. Can I just say that I HATE IT that most Brides nowadays feel like they have to make everyone happy and comfortable and welcome? COME ON, its your wedding, its supposed to be about you, not your great-aunt or distant friend or best friend's new boyfriend. And no one gets that anymore. Its like everyone being invited to a wedding expects to be wined and dined and given comfy chairs in airconditioned venues while all of their significant others are also invited and wined and dined? and they expect to be invited in the first place?? SRSLY.

    Do what you want and dont feel bad about it. New rule.