Monday, March 29, 2010

How can you mend a broken heart?


dear esb. 

it was my/our plan to end the LDR and for me to give up my apartment/studio/city in berlin to come to london. i did, got rid of everything, moved in to my parents for few weeks (now turned into months, eeeeeeeeeeeek) to leave some furniture here, save rent for the moving. then: BANG my boy left me.

soooo i am still going. 


1. it's a cool city!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. it will be good/better for my business

3. i want challenges
4. i want to meet NEW people and places and everything
5. improve my english to EXCELLENT
6. because of number 1.


after really bad weeks, feeling like shit (i really felt this was it and now I have to replace all the pics in the head), spring arrived and i really want to start my new life. I am 26...as you said, still time to find mr. ridiculous crazy hot right.
 

so. anything you wise lady want to tell me!? 

liv x

*****

Lady,

All I have to say, really, is you're doing the right thing. Absolutely and without a doubt. You will only meet Mr. Ridiculous Crazy Hot when you're not looking for him.

I didn't meet H-town until I was 32. I had just ended a three-year relationship in NYC, I moved to LA to enroll in grad school and start a new life, and I was not looking for a boyfriend. I swear to god he could smell it on me. There is nothing men find hotter than a confident woman doing her own thing.

love love love,
ESB

p.s. Fuck that guy. Erase those pics in your head and don't look back.

(Image of a Liv dress in progress via be blushless)

34 comments:

  1. I am so sorry to hear about this, Liv, but I agree with ESB that you sound like you have a really good head on your shoulders and know what you need to do. The shitty painful stuff only goes away with time, but your awesome attitude is timeless. :)

    Take care! I am so sorry that dudes are such assholes sometimes.

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  2. what a douche.

    live it up, girl.

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  3. serrriously?! f*ck that guy. but, kind of awesome that this move is no longer about anyone but YOU and YOUR BUSINESS. that is rad.

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  4. ahhh, london is such a cool city... amazing things will come from this move, especially b/c you have the best attitude about it all.

    I totally agree with esb about the "doing your own thing"-thing. When I met my current guy, I was totally NOT wanting a relationship - I wanted to work on my business, and dudes and all the drama they brought were just getting in the way. I met him off hand at a bar one night, didn't think too much of it, and then six months later we were signing a lease together. AND my business is still going strong! you never know.

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  5. you are awesome, and he is not. clearly.

    you will have an amazing time in london. best of luck!

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  6. Great post. I am in a similar situation and really needed to read this today!

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  7. I'm so sorry about this. Learning that your boyfriend is a spineless asshole is never easy. But I agree with what everyone said above: this move will be good for you and jumping into a new adventure always helps. Also, I still think my last breakup was the best thing to ever happen to me. Losing him was great too, but it was really the the try-something-new excitement/fear that let me get to where I am today. I owe my job, passion projects, and new partner to the aftermath of losing the asshole boyfriend.

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  8. i love that you're turning this sh*tty situation into an amazing opportunity. london is going to be fabulous -- new city, new friends, new experiences!

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  9. You are making the right decision. Have an exciting, wonderful, thrilling time living in London.

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  10. and also, ditto esb and kristen. i met my husband when i was DONE with guys. i even tried to tell him that, but he wouldn't go away.

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  11. secretly im excited for you.. there is something about a breakup that takes such a huge weight off your shoulders.. and right now you're not tied to anything.. thats amazing! make yourself some super hot 'moving to london' dress and get going!

    good luck!

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  12. thanks ladies. phew.
    now its official i guess.
    and this is what i am going to do:
    http://blushless.com/blog/2010/03/achieve-the-impossible/

    just one more thing: i don't like that it sounds like he is just the complete asshole, here written officially in the internet.
    we shared a lot and will maybe still be friends after a while.
    its not just that easy and black and white.

    so...who is coming to meet up in london ; ) ?

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  13. ugh wtf?!

    Liv, darling...holy cow you are going to get EATEN UP in London! or at least eaten out ;) HAH! too much?

    anyway, i agree with all these wonderful comments people are leaving, i just thought i'd try my hand at a humorous comment ;)

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  14. fuck yes. move to london. it's filled with bustle & dust & sexiness. i've been here for the last eight months (moved from the states). it's a killer city for fashion & design. a great place to start over. the bridges & train station are the best places in the world to be sad & then get over oneself!

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  15. a word to Miss Liv :

    just when you think you've forgotten about Mr. Huge Asshole, he will come back. they most always do. it will be when you are happy with yourself and maybe even settled into a healthy, thrilling new relationship.

    i guess i'm just saying that jerks are like bad pennies or herpes. they just keep coming back. so just remember why you dumped his lame ass in the first place, and LOVE THE ONE YOU'RE WITH ! for now, that may mean yourself.

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  16. Good for you for still going to London!! Best of luck, you will have an amazing life.
    I know you said you didn't like that it sounded like he was a total asshole, and he probably isn't. But you definitely need the "he's a total asshole, f*ck him!" phase so that you can move on.
    Enjoy this time of answering to no one but yourself, and doing only what you want to do!! As great and wonderful as a good relationship is there is something to be said for not having to consider someone else's feelings/thoughts/opinions all the time.
    And everyone is right, once you decide that you don't need/want a guy in your life is when you meet Mr. Hot and Wonderful.

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  17. sorry, Liv. i missed the comment where you said he ISN'T a huge asshole. so i amend my comment to say "Mr. Medium-sized Asshole".

    cheers.

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  18. @ 17 beats: hahahhahahahahahahhah! alright ! thx for that !

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  19. You are gonna have an amazing time! There is nothing more freeing than moving to a new city, especially when you don't have to worry about anyone else. Have fun!!!

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  20. it is going to be awesome! enjoy yourself.

    and, as shitty as it is, so lucky that his lameness was revealed now, as opposed to way later down the road.

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  21. You sound like a wonderful lady stuck with a loser... now you're free to be your amazing self once more =)

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  22. Agree with the above, forget boys, you are in the fashion capital of the world ( just my opinion ) so grab it with both hands and immerse yourself!

    PS any advice needed then contact Duke&Larn as londoners obviously : )

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  23. you are awesome, and london will be awesome. i think it's so fabulous that you're going anyway, and i see great things ahead, because you're amazingly talented.

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  24. Liv! Don't you worry my love. When you get to London we are going to hang out loads and I will take you to do so much cool fun stuff you'll just be glad you don't have a boyfriend because you wouldn't have time to see him anyway. And I don't want to sound patronising (and I'm only 2 years older than you) but 26 is the best time to be single. Especially in London. Especially in summer.

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  25. recipe for getting over your boyfriend:
    move to england +
    make out session with ridiculously hot british boy (or two) =
    success!

    and like LA love said, it's probably impossible to see it right now, but sometimes breakups are the absolute best thing that could ever happen to you.

    xox

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  26. @17beats YES. Listen to her Liv. Besides, we're all full of excuses for our medium sized *ssholes right after the fact. They rarely deserve that from us.

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  27. Do it! It will be so much fun!

    Or move to Australia! It's always warm here.
    But probably not so good for your business.

    A change of scene will do wonders

    More power to ya!



    xoxoxoox

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  28. i've just moved to england a few months ago. my good looking englishman has lots of good looking english friends!

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  29. @celia: recipe written down on top of to do list!

    @west aussie : thats the long term goal: doing beach wedding dresses down under...living from ice coffee, sunshine and mango, and i will come and visit you! give me a little more time in the massive cities of this world before i am ready to settle in the sun!

    @katie: drinks? soon(-ish) ? yay! (are you living in london?)

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  30. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with these relationship issues while you are going through other big changes. that really sucks. I strongly belive that things happen for a reason in this world -- call it fate, destiny or whatever -- and that this change is just making way for something truly great and wonderful!

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  31. It's never a good idea to move somewhere for someone else. Move for yourself. it will make you feel better when everone asks, "So why'd you move here?" And you can say, "Because I wanted to."

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