Monday, March 15, 2010
DEAR ESB: How can I keep the guest list under 50?
I am getting married this October, here on the eastside of LA. My boy and I are keeping it small, low-key, and somewhat cheap. We are trying to keep the guest list to under 50 people. The question is, how do you choose who not to invite? If I do not like my cousins, do I have to invite them? Do I have to invite high-school friends who I do like, and who invited me to their weddings, but who I do not talk to very often? Do I have to invite people I hang out with here in LA who are buddies but not besties? I have no idea where to draw the line and how best not to offend people.
Also, since most people live on the east coast which might already discourage them from attending due to the cost of flying, hotels, etc., do you think it is tacky to send an invite, but let them know I do not expect them to attend? Is there a graceful way to do this?
-Cypress Park Bride
I LOVE THIS QUESTION. 50 is the perfect number (and I'm not just saying that because we had 50 people at our wedding).
Here's the trick: Only invite the people you really want to hang out with. If you don't like your cousins, don't invite them. If you don't see those high school friends very often and you don't feel like making fucking small talk at your wedding, don't invite them. Don't worry about reciprocating every wedding invitation you've ever received. All you have to say to anyone who asks is "We're keeping it really small."
Repeat after me: "We're keeping it really small." No apologies necessary.
There is no graceful way to send an wedding invitation to someone while simultaneously conveying the message that you don't really want them to come.
(Still image from The Lost Things via mint)