Monday, April 6, 2009

wedding dress ambivalence

The following is an actual transcript from a conversation I had last night via Twitter. (Names have been changed to protect the innocent.) I've posted it here because I thought brides-to-be might find it instructive and/or reassuring.

friend:
Nervous about my wedding dress. Why did I have to find the perfect $250 vintage dress today, huh?

me: @friend
did you try it on?

friend: @me
Nooooooooooo. But now I want to go back. This is so pathetic. I was NOT looking for a dress.

me: @friend
you're not pathetic. this is normal. go try it on and get it out of your system. chances are it won't even fit.

friend: @me That is such good advice. You're a good advice giver.


Be prepared for wedding dress ambivalence to hit 3-4 months before the big day. I'm not saying you have to go try on other dresses, but it might help you love the one you've got.

Or you might buy a new one like I did. Oopsy.

14 comments:

  1. This is the BEST advice. After agonizing over my dress for a month, I bought a lovely-but-returnable dress just to get one more option out of my system. I was finally able to stop second-guessing my first choice after that.

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  2. I love this post. It may help me rationalize over-spending b/c there are two dresses i am in love with that are way over budget. I've decided to see after about 5 more dress shopping experiences, if i feel the same. if so, i will have to go sell an organ to buy this dress LOL! But seriously, I do think its important to LOVE the dress... also reminding myself, its just one day :)
    RelentlessBride

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  3. well this makes me feel better. i bought a beautiful simple little dress a month after we got engaged. now i keep wondering if i should try on others, or if it's even the right one... i keep wondering if i am going to regret not doing the whole big white dress thing! glad to know i'm not alone.

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  4. Oh my gosh, this is exactly what I'm going through right now. I keep thinking about my dress and whether or not it's THE one. I keep trying on my dress over and over again, and still feeling ambivalent...argh.

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  5. This seems like a rite of passage: buy a lovely simple dress, then a few months later, want something poufier and more extravagant. I heard the average bride has something like 2.4 dresses! A friend just offered me her 'extra' dress - but I already have two of my own. The big mystery is: what is happening to all those extra dresses? Are they getting worn for another occasion? Given away? Resold? Hidden in the back of closets???

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  6. I wish I had *the answer* for you guys. But just know that you're not crazy!

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  7. Elizabeth, you're right. It does seem very wasteful. My extra dress (yes, hanging in my closet) is my secret shame.

    And what's up with two different dresses for ceremony + reception?!

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  8. The other dress is not always poofy, fancy, or expensive....
    Though I'm a one dress all day girl. Dress that pretty, why would you want to take it off?

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  9. i have a jcrew loaner in the closet, a thrift store 35 dollar in my closet (gorgeous but very tiny), and the rental i shave paid good money for is at the rental place so i can't try it on. maybe good, maybe bad can't say. anyway, thanks for making me feel normal.

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  10. 1. Did she go back?
    2. Did it fit?
    3. Did she buy it?

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  11. OH MY GOD. you are inside my head!!! just last night (four months before my wedding), i emailed my friend to say i was having second thoughts about my wedding dress. wow! this was a great post and great advice.

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  12. haa haa haa i feel like the entire first month of my blog is about this issue.

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  13. I had bought two vintage wedding gowns two years ago when I was single and now that I'm actually engaged I want a brand new one. Or I might even just duplicate one of the vintage ones. I think the 2.4 dress average is most accurate!

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