Thursday, January 17, 2013

while we're on the subject of wedding websites....


(thank you all for the recs, which are pouring in)

Any advice/tips on what to include? Do people really read those long "how we met" stories?

I read them. AND I LAUGH AT YOU.








THE WAY WE MET. IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST. - Patrik Svensson via ßrady ßlack via Caitlin Peters

93 comments:

  1. I put up a stupid "how we met" out of sheer boredom but I hope people read the fucking FAQ more.

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    1. what was in the FAQ? other than attire I am kind of blanking here.

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    2. Ours (kind of camp specific but you get the idea...and you might get the idea that we got some high-maintenance friends, yo):

      - Where should out-of-towners fly into? And what’s the best way to get from the airport to the camp?
      - Are you making any accommodations for ride-sharing? Some of us coming from Chicago might not have cars.
      - Are kids welcome at the wedding?
      - What if the weather is bad?
      - What should I pack?
      - What’s the dress code like for a camp wedding?

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    3. I put every question I don't want asked eleventy times in the FAQ. Basic gist of mine:

      • What hotel do I book at? What's their number? What name is the block booked under? Do they have a breakfast? A pool? Where is the hotel?
      • Can I invite people to your wedding? Can I bring my kids? You have dogs, can I bring my dog?
      • Will there be dancing? What kind of music will be played? Can I suggest music? Will you be playing something other than that awful dance music kids listen to these days because I went to a wedding once and all they played was that awful dubstep crap?

      Note: I've already been asked most of the above. Ugh.

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  2. I had a friend who wrote a limerick about how they hooked up at a bar one night... that was kinda fun.

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  3. We really wanted people to get excited about camp (b/c many were leery) so we had a lot of photos and info of the camp along with directions/map, etc.

    We had a scheduled event and details on activities and talent show. All of this is a bit abnormal, but, yeah.

    We had info about staying at camp and links to nearby hotels (I think hotel info is pretty typical).

    Registry info and an FAQ.

    As the wedding rolled closer, we put up some weather info on the main page (which was technically the "blog" part of the Tumblr). Later we added links to photos and such. We've meant to update it more, post wedding, as more of a record for ourselves, but we haven't.

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  4. ha. it's our favorite pastime... reading those. and laughing at them.

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  5. Just attempted to set up a wedding website last night and was wondering the same. Our party is going to be fairly small, so if those invited don't know our spiel... then they're probably not invited.

    I will admit though, aside from including when/where my site it lookin' bare. I'm contemplating a gif wall.

    Plus I don't care how cute you think your story is, no one else will. I laugh at every DC Express B.I.O. announcement.

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    1. again, if you don't have anything to write on the website that isn't included on the invite, you might want to re-think having one. why did you make one, for the sake of it? because the wedding industry told you to?

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  6. aww, I think they "how we met's" are kind of nice! They don't have to be 8 paragraphs long though, especially when they're pretty nondescript.

    Other things I'd put (or I have put, on mine, which I used blogger to construct and OMG It's so clean and nice and there's no tchotchky (sp?) countdown at the top)

    - registry info
    - parking details (ours is on a college campus, things can get weird)
    - details about cocktail hour/reception if there's a gap between the two
    - hotel info/shuttle info
    - "special" details about that weekend- ours is the weekend of a huge marathon and that may present a surprise driving if not made aware
    - we also threw in the obligatory "bridsmaid/groomsman" because sometimes it's nice to have a little fluff
    - also if you come from a family of rednecks like my fiance, we threw in a "may as well try" disclaimer about attire. We'll see who listens. I'm betting at least 3-5 in flannel.

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    1. I was thinking about an attire disclaimer... would you mind sharing your example?

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    2. I hate when people give super abstract descriptions of dress--like, "funky Southern cocktail casual" or some such shit.

      Here is what we said but I don't think it's all that helpful for most people...we weren't trying to tell backwards family how to dress for a wedding, we were trying to tell normal people that we still expected wedding attire, even though it was at a camp:

      We plan to have the ceremony and reception be a somewhat formal affair, so dress the way you would for a typical wedding. Women might not want to be in open shoes for too long or your feet will get pretty dirty. There are plenty of places to change clothes if you wish to before the ceremony but are not staying at camp.

      The rest of the weekend will be super casual. Have fun with the theme!


      (We also created a Pinterest board of ideas...we're assholes)

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    3. @Hillary you linked to pinterest?? you are assholes.

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    4. the linking to a pinterest board for what guests should wear could be helpful, but honestly just seems like you are trying too hard to control the look of the wedding by dictating what guests wear.

      they are grown up, if you say 'wedding attire' they will get it. you don't need to dictate bowties, pattern dresses, and suspenders!

      reminds me a little of that bride who spent thousands on a make-up artist for all her guests so that they would look good in the pictures

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    5. Wow, that pin board is pretty unnecessary.

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    6. If you cared that much about your guests dressing nicely for your wedding, why did you get married at a camp?

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    7. okay, I know I started it, but let's lay off Hillary. she already admitted she's an asshole!

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    8. I don't mind. I can take it. I think everyone does at least one thing when planning/executing their wedding that is a bit ridiculous and self-indulgent. The board is one thing on a short list of shit we did that other people might find obnoxious.

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    9. YES. People on their "I won't do anything obnoxious when I'm planning my wedding" high horse: You're wrong.

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    10. BAHA dying at this thread.

      Our disclaimer just said "please come dressed in semi formal attire, and leave the jeans and t-shirts for exploring the city!"

      I think I threw in a smiley for good measure.

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  7. I actually like the How We Met section. I hate the About Us section though, where people write "xxx grew up in ______ and loves ____ and is so happy to be marrying the man of her dreams!" for an entire paragraph. Gag me.

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  8. Instead of the About Us, we both put up a bunch of really weird fun facts about each other. We also put together a city guide, since no one is from here, and a ton of people definitely used it and loved it. I also work in search optimization, so I purposely made it ungoogleable. You can do that if you make a google site. Also, I didn't use our last names anywhere. Otherwise your wedding site will come up when people google you forever!

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    1. We did weird facts as well (that we wrote about each other), and made it mildly embarrassing. Actually went over pretty well!

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    2. Ahaha, we did the same thing, but with likes/dislikes!:

      "Zoë loves dogs, singing, True Blood, Andrew, traveling, farmers markets, yoga, cooking, and the band Beirut, among other things. Zoë does not love airplanes, onions, sudden noises, and waking up early.
      Andrew loves music that no one else has heard of, Zoë's cooking, cycling, traveling, Wes Anderson, cameras, reading, and winning games, among other things. Andrew does not love the Magnetic Fields, grapefruit, Anthropologie, and losing at games."

      Bam.

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  9. We're embedding a custom Google Map with the wedding location, the hotel we have a block at, and the nearest Metro station. Since our wedding is at 11 AM, maybe we'll add the good coffee places nearby, too.

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  10. Lots of info about lodging and transportation--we got married an hour away from his hometown and 5 hours away from mine (and 7 hours away from where we currently live), so all of the 100 guests were traveling to our wedding location from somewhere else.
    mywedding.com gives you an "Our Story" page as one of it's default pages, so I just wrote 2 sentences about when we met and how long we've been together and left it at that.

    We also had a FAQ page (my favorite was "How long does it take to get from where I am to where your wedding is?" "We don't know, here's a link to MapQuest", because we got that question A LOT from family members), a day of schedule, a page listing the wedding party and a registries page. Pretty standard stuff.

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    1. You can turn any of the pages "off," even the default ones, which is one of the reasons I like myweddding.com. So even though technically the "our story" pages exists on our site, nobody can see it so there's nothing written on it.

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    2. Yes! This is true, and I did turn a bunch of pages off. I took the "our story" page as a chance to be cheeky about how long we've been together (9+ years) since people always comment on what a VERY LONG TIME that is.

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  11. The "how we met" sections always kind of give me the heeby jeebies, but we're also having a private (i.e. just us) wedding ceremony so maybe it's more about my general discomfort sharing mushy stuff with a bunch of people who get to hear that info just because they showed up, not because I'm drunk at a bar and over sharing (which is really where that sort of discussion should take place).

    For our website (really my website...I won't pretend my man has any interest in it or understanding why we need one), I put the most time and effort into making a list of all of our favorite places in town and a little personal blurb about why we love them (i.e. our favorite thing on the menu, when we started going there, if we used to work there, etc.). It's important to me that guests have a good time in town, know where to get a good cup of coffee, know what to do with their kids when it's 90 degrees, know where to get a vegan milkshake or an icy beverage, etc.

    Other sections include: where to stay and how to get around, "the party" (i.e. fyi we're getting married before you all come to town), where/when to RSVP, what to wear, "little ones" (i.e. you can bring your kids but if they're crazy I'm giving them tequila), and a "thank you" section, where I give a shout out to our vendors (normally might not do this, but mostly we've been able to use friends who also happen to be in the business, so I want to acknowledge them).

    My take on wedding websites: it's an opportunity to share information that you otherwise would not be able to share in a way you wouldn't be able to share it (if it were just going around by word of mouth that we weren't having guests at the ceremony, people might read that to be negative, but the website allowed me to spin it as "you made the effort to come to our wedding and we want to spend every possible minute with you.") I mostly tried to take the focus off of us (there will be plenty of that, anyway) and use it as an opportunity to make our out of town guests feel prepared and cared for, get people excited about the party, and acknowledge that our community is really coming together to make this happen and we love them for it. And also, it's windy where we live so if you wear a short skirt, wear some pretty full-coverage panties.

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    1. Apparently I will never learn to consolidate my thoughts.

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    2. kate, i think your short skirt / full-coverage panties advice should be part of every wedding website going forward.

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  12. i've always hated the how we met sections, they're all just really ridiculous. most people going to the wedding already know who you are and/or how you met. we really didn't want to use one, so we just copy/pasted the wikipedia article for the movie "i know who killed me"

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  13. ours is a destination wedding and includes:

    -small gallery of pics of us (cheesy, but sweet)
    -location and how to get there (including flying, trains, driving)
    -accommodation options
    -and a short list of local attractions for people making a holiday of it
    -a brief run down of the day's itinerary (timings and what to expect)
    -info about food, bar
    -attire recommendations
    -registry
    -rsvp

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  14. Look how gorgeous this one is. I don't even know the couple, but I read the whole damn thing. http://jessandruss.us/

    Woot parallax scrolling.

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    1. i knew someone would bring that up

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    2. barf.

      I see this one as two people seriously over-compensating for the fact that they met online.

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    3. nah, it's a RESUME. they're both designers.

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    4. I was just going to bring this one up too. Designers or not, I think its a disgusting display of narcissism. Aesthetics or tricky code aside, it goes on FOREVER.

      Wedding websites are no place for your resume. How shallow is it to turn your own wedding into a chance to build your portfolio? That just makes the whole thing even more obnoxious and self-indulgent.

      long-winded, cutesy, and forced narrative "About Us" sections on a wedding website is major DON'T in my book. I've seen a ton of them too.

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    5. I would just like to jump in with one brief defense: as much as waspy parents expect certain WIC things from their kids when they're brides, certain things are expected from the weddings of designers. And because design is what you love, it's really easy to get sucked in and go overboard on it. I can't imagine how much grief I'm going to get from people re: having an off-the-shelf wedding website.

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    6. Is it . . .supposed to be stupid and funny?? Dear god tell me this isn't serious . . .I could like it if it was supposed to be stupid!

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    7. FWIW, I'm a designer, getting married to a designer. We aren't having a wedding website, we're doing good ol' paper invites. In fact, these paper invites are so under-designed, I'm worried it might come off as some sort of hipster post-design snub to our artist and designer friends, while at the same time looking like we're incapable, uncreative designers to our non-designer friends and family. But we like them.

      We came by this design because we were maybe slightly (ok, not so slightly) offput by the crazy need to overbrand relationships and weddings. We aren't a brand and our wedding isn't a showcase at a lifestyle trade show.

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    8. "Overbranding relationships" - yes, it's awful.

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    9. Don't even get my started on couples who create a logo for themselves with their initials....

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  15. I think some of us are over-thinking this. Very few guests will actually use your wedding website for anything other than the registry...

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    1. this true, the website is just holding information that would traditionally be included with the invitation (location, rsvp, etc). It's become popular now so people do it for the hell of it.

      I saw a friend's website that literally had one page and just had a picture with the date and place, I kid you not. what is the point?!

      You only really 'need' one if you have a lot of additional information to give (destination wedding, out of towners coming, optional activities) that you don't want cluttering up the invite.

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    2. ie if you don't know what to put on the website YOU PROBABLY DON'T NEED ONE

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  16. We didn't put anything other than logistics on there: registry info, hotels nearby and other important locations (like grocery stores/hospitals/etc),; we had a lot of out-of-towners coming.

    I feel like if we had to write "our story" for our guests, then they shouldn't be coming to the wedding in the first place.

    Also, I'm pretty sure almost no one used the site anyway.

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  17. We didn't do an "our story" section on our wedding website because "cock-blocked my friend who liked him first and made out at a hockey game" would not have gone over well with the grandparents.

    If your site has directions/map to the location(s) and a place to RSVP, you're golden.

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    1. I wish I could click "Like" on this. Mine would be like "got stalked on Facebook, found out and then reverse stalked and cold-emailed."

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  18. We put up a custom Google map and sort of a combo city guide/"me and him" reality tour. So things on the map were of course the venue, hotels, nearby places to eat and things to do, but also included the bar where we first met, restaurant where we had our first date, etc. That was it was a little more personal without being totally cornball. I hope.

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  19. I just don't want to do any of this. My guests are adults and can figure it all out for themselves, right? I booked hotel blocks for them, sent them the info, and we'll send out all the other standard logistical info with our invites and answer any and all questions as they arise. And I think it's tacky to publicize registry info. That can spread (or not spread) via word of mouth. What more do we really need to do?

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    1. Seriously. There is no one on my guest list who is too stupid to type an address into Google Maps or figure out what to wear to a wedding.

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    2. Gosh it would ne nice if that were true. Having just had a wedding, I can tell you...people become completely fucking helpless. The worst offenders tend to be those closest to you -- mothers, bridesmaids, etc. Or maybe that's just my family.

      The first guests to arrive at our wedding actually bitched and moaned to my now-husband that they had difficulty getting there because their train was diverted.

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    3. I don't get the notion that it's tacky to publicize registry info, but not tacky to have one in the first place.

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    4. Because if they want to give a gift, and they want ideas of what we need, it's there for them. If they feel that giving a gift on top of traveling to our out-of-state wedding is too much for them to handle financially (something that I can definitely sympathize with!), then I don't want to broadcast a registry in their faces.

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    5. @Alison, I want to copy and paste your comment into an email for everyone who asks "Why don't you have a wedding website?"

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    6. I agree Mary Anne, and so I didn't give one thought to a wedding website. I just didn't do it. Nor did I bother booking hotel blocks. Most of the time, the "deals" hotels give you cost more than rates you can get from travel sites, and everyone invited to my wedding was an adult with internet access, so I figured, why bother? As far as I can tell, people managed just fine.

      I can see how having a wedding website could be necessary in some circumstances, but in most, it probably isn't.

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    7. I was not aware it was cool to go to weddings without giving gifts, I shall definitely be partaking in that!

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    8. We didn't have a wedding website, either, and everyone managed to dress themselves and shelter themselves and find their way to the wedding. We also didn't have a registry or a wedding party, so there would have been nothing else to put on there.

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    9. lol @ anon :11

      I'm jealous of all you folks who have family and friends who are capable of figuring out to use travel sites and google maps. My whole family is completely internet inept. Thus, the FAQ and hotel blocks.

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  20. I would really just like someone to link to Dizzee Rascal's "Fix Up, Look Sharp" in the section of their website that talks about dress code, since it seems like that is what every wedding dress code boils down to anyway.



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    1. I don't understand a dress code section. I mean, who doesn't know what to wear to a wedding?

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    2. Example: I got married in a backyard, so my now-husband's family from small town Florida assumed super casual while my family from WASP-land assumed JCrew/pinstripe/prepster showdown.

      Also, when the whole shindig will be on the grass, it can be nice to tell people that so women don't wear stilettos and then hate you all night.

      Dress code can be helpful.

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    3. Or if you're having your wedding on the beach, you use it to tell people to bring sweaters. Because all of the midwestern relatives go, "oh, it's in California! I can wear a sundress and sandals in October!" and don't realize that it's 20 degrees colder by the ocean.

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    4. I think that there are a lot of people who don't know what to wear to a wedding. One reason that jumps out at me: not all weddings have the same dress code. Just make sure the dress code section is actually, ya know, helpful. I've seen dress code descriptions that left me more confused than if they'd said nothing.

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    5. I never know what to wear to a wedding! (I would kinda find Hillary's pinterest board helpful). To a noon ceremony and 5pm reception in summer I finally decided to wear a jersey floral maxi dress, while all the other girls wore satin cocktail dresses. To my boyfriend's cousin's 5pm church and banquet hall wedding, I showed up in a cocktail dress while everyone was in pants (?!) or sundresses.

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    6. I am already getting questions asking if guests are supposed to wear jeans since the venue is a farm. I am hoping that the website will take care of questions like this.

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  21. Curious, how many of you had issues with online RSVP? It seems so obvious to me, and there is only one person over 70 invited and she will be RSVPed-for by someone else. I don't think anyone is being invited who doesn't have an email address or regular access to internet. So I am not planning to put any alternative on the invites.. is that a mistake? RSVP is pretty straightforward - are you coming, are you vegetarian, list names/ages of kids you are bringing.

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    1. We had an online RSVP (Google Forms) and it worked very well, no problems, even older/not-internet-savvy relatives did fine. We did provide our phone numbers for people to call as an alternative, and we did get 2 or 3 such calls from great aunts and such. I'd recommend providing a phone number as an alternative, but know that people are probably going to find the web form more convenient anyway.

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    2. I'd say 1/4 of our guests used it. The others told us (or believed they told us) in various other ways -- in person (usually in passing), via text, in Facebook posts not directly related to our wedding (i.e. "LOL, I love this pic. oh btw can't wait for wedding!"), and some just assumed we knew they'd be there. I hate people.
      A few fuddy-duddies went out and bought acceptance cards and mailed them to us, old-school style.

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    3. We had online RSVP on our wedding website (mywedding.com) and it worked perfectly. Some people didn't get the name part and registered themselves and their guests with the same name, but that was easy to fix. It really was simple, even my 84 year old grandmother figured it out.

      One or two people did freak out that they'd lost the RSVP card, but that was more funny than anything else.

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    4. Ours worked great. The only people who could have potentially had trouble with it were already very much verbally confirmed (like my MIL).

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    5. we had online RSVP the same as the Anonymous person two up, the biggest problem was people believing thy had already told us, but actually they hadn't. I put the RSVPs on a spreadsheet, so I could add verbal confirmations too.

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    6. We had a glosite (highly recommend) and an online rsvp. I'd say 1/4 of people rsvp'd on their own, 1/2 rsvp'd with some digital prodding (an email saying "hey everyone, please rsvp), and 1/4 just never rsvp'd, and they either called/emailed to say if they'd be there.

      We used our site for info on traveling to NYC, since many people coming hadn't been before, and put up a list of cool things to do.

      We had a section of vendors we were using, because we work in the wedding industry and wanted to be extra appreciative, and we had a "gifts" section that said people were welcome to bring nothing and just come, donate to a charity, give us something they made, or buy something off our registry. (We didn't want to, but our families convinced us that, whether we said anything or not, people would look for something that told them what we wanted.)

      We also used it to give info for 2 other parties (We had a tiny wedding, made teenier by natural disaster, and 2 big parties in our home towns.)

      I'm an advocate of the website, only because I'm lazy and don't want to keep answering questions about when things start or how to find them.

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  22. We had the following pages...

    * Home page w/ brief welcome message and blog updates (using Wordpress.com). We thought blogging would be fun, and it was, and a bunch of friends said they loved reading about how we designed/printed our invites and whatever. But we only had like 4 posts and even they took a while to put together. Would probably skip.

    * RSVP form - google form. We put the date/time/location again at the top of the form. Included # of guests attending, name of everyone attending, phone and email, ages of children attending, food allergies/restrictions (we were doing family style), and questions/comments for us. This worked well.

    * Wedding party - short paragraph and pic of everyone including us. Agree w/ everyone above that they should already know us, but sometimes it's cute/fun to get a synopsis, especially if you can make it weird or funny. No more than 2 paragraphs though!

    * Info - directions, locations of all events, parking, transit, taxis. FAQ included dress code, schedule for the ceremony/reception (so people kno when they can expect to eat and dance), what kind of food, what to expect of the wedding (secular ceremony, bi-cultural, etc).

    * Travel - lodging, transportation, and a big google map of where people should go in our area. This took forever to put together but I kinda loved it and lots of people said they used it. Yeah people are grownups and can entertain themselves, but we framed it as "if we weren't going to be too busy getting married, here's where we would take you on your visit." Skip if you want to save hours of work though.

    * Registry links, and then include a mailing address just in case. It might be tacky @Mary Anne, but it seems really standard nowadays, haven't seen a wedding website without one among a dozen or so friends whose weddings we've been invited to.

    * Contact info

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    1. Oh! And in our footer we included links to our vendors' websites (the ones who we liked). I have no idea if this was weird or helpful or just whatever. I'm a little obsessive-compulsive.

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  23. I understand laughing at a strangers "How We Met" cheesefest, but presumably if you've been invited to someone's wedding, they're your friends? Seems pretty meanspirited to laugh. It's the one time they get to do this, so just let them for fucks sake.
    Pinterest boards of suggested outfits? Laugh all you want.

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    1. My friends are not exempt from being laughed at. They are the source of much laughter. I can only hope that they too will get a chuckle out of whatever corny shit I write for my big day!

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  24. I like this blog, and consider myself a moderately judgemental person, but dayamn! Y'all are some HATERS!

    I'll give an alternate perspective: my cousin got married last summer and didn't mail me an invite, instead included my name on my dad's invite. (Don't ask my why, I'm 27...) In other words, I had no info whatsoever about the wedding and for whatever reason, I was having a hard time getting the wedding website URL from family members, and didn't want to pester my cousin (the bride) and didn't want to make her feel bad about not sending me an invite (who knows, maybe she saved a ton of money on invites by avoiding the 251st one...). Not having access to the wedding website was a DRAG. (downside to the website not being googleable)

    By the time I found out what hotel we were staying at, the group rate had expired, and by the time I found the registry, all the good stuff was gone (although I love sending a motley assortment of all the small random things, so it was fine.)

    As much as you might feel like "if they're my friends, they know all this shit anyway," people (like me at least) want to do as much due diligence on their own as possible without having to bother the bride/groom.

    Maybe I'm weird b/c I'm engaged and am fearful of getting a million emails/calls about seemingly obvious stuff.

    That being said, my fiance is a programmer (not a designer, no crazy bells and whistles to be had here), so our website is crazy simple and economical. Basically FAQ info on the home page, then a page for bride and groom (I like the idea of having this section be mostly weird facts that opposite family/friends wont necessarily know) and a section on the wedding party, because it's a fun little shout out for our men and women of bride and groom.

    UPSHOT--holy shit this got long--registry and hotel info are crucial. All else is up to the preferences of the B&G.

    AND WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT??? gawd. chill your britches for a hot sec and let people do what the fuck they feel like doing.

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    1. Yeah, I gotta say a huge benefit to being able to have a wedding website is I can pre-answer a ton of questions on there so I'm not (or my mom's not) answering the same questions over and over again. And for my polite guests, they're not left hanging in the dark wanting to ask a question but not wanting to bother us. It's all there. Makes life easier.

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  25. these comments are making my head hurt.

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  26. My future sister in law actually made up a book filled with pictures of her and her fiancé and detailed the entire story. She gave them out as Christmas presents....

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    1. oh man. wait til she has kids.

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    2. She just had one. To announce the pregnancy she wrapped up used pregnancy tests and gave them as gifts. You don't even want to know about the belly painting and topless photoshoot on a park bench...

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    3. USED PREGNANCY TESTS?! Oh, my god. She must have gone to, like, the dollar store or something--those bitches are expensive.

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    4. Yep! Even had the nerve to have a photographer on hand to document her mother and mother in law opening the box and seeing the plus sign on the stick. Just kill me.

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    5. WHAT?@?@?@ I want to hear more about this crazy person.

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  27. Our website is going to be pretty standard- similar to Jen's. The home page is just an image of our save the date.
    -RSVP- online google form
    -Wedding party- 2 sentences about each person with a photo
    -Area info- links to fun things to do (Everyone will be coming from out of town.)
    -Registry- links
    -Details- a map, airports, schedule for the day, photo of the gravelly terrain with a warning about heels, info on how to book a room (The place is not super internet savvy and hotel websites make it look like it is booked up.)
    -Our story- Yes, we did one of these. I didn't want to write out a long thing, so I made an infographic in the style of a flowchart. I only included the key or funny moments. So hopefully people do laugh at us.

    I find wedding websites really helpful. When my friend got married last year, hers was extremely helpful and I didn't have to bug her with my questions.

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