Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Seeking: A black wedding band for the groom



I found my ring on your blog (thank god I was prepared and had been reading you for fashion reasons) but need help with my groom. I've searched in vain - we/he'd prefer a solid black ring, circle or square, preferably no shiny metals or jewels (eww).

We're not trying to match or anything obviously. Can you help?

Worshipfully,
snobby fashion bride

*****

Guess what, snobby? I think black wedding bands are eew.

They're almost all made of tungsten or titanium, which a) EEW, and b) Who is this guy, SUPERMAN? He doesn't need a ring that is HARDER THAN STEEL. What happens if he gets it caught on something? Or they need to cut it off in the ER??

Allow me to recommend Macha's Ragged Wedding Band in yellow gold.


It wouldn't kill you to match just a *little*

Alternatively, you could try to convince Bernice to bring back the Misshapen Men's Ring in oxidised sterling silver.


I hesitated to recommend silver. Not sure it will hold up to 30+ years of daily wear. But this is a sexy, sexy ring, and (obvs) you won't have to worry about it tarnishing.

51 comments:

  1. I have a (formerly) oxidized wedding/engagement ring and just soes you know, it will eventually turn silver as the oils in your hands polish it. I like mine both ways so it doesn't matter, but its something to keep in mind.

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  2. Willie has a black wedding band. Reason being he is allergic to most metals and breaks out in hives from them. Apparently, titanium doesn't make his fingers itchy. So there you have it. His isn't too creepy looking like those Google image ones, but I can't remember where we got it. I'll have to ask him if he remembers and get back to you...

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  3. i wanted to read this as black band = music. :(

    but also black band does = eww.

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  4. I don't mind the idea of a black ring (NOT those pictured above) but unless you can find a good titanium one, it'd be a cheap ring, so you may need to replace it over time. And I only like black rings if they are TINY.

    I couldn't find anything perfect but I like the idea of this one without the pyramid (which, you know, I couldn't find, but the etsy seller may be able to make you).

    Or this one doesn't have a pyramid but something about it, I like less.

    This one is okay (without the diamond OBVI--again, maybe the etsy seller would make you one).

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    1. i don't think a dude is going to wear a tiny, thin band....

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    2. My husband does. His is gold. It looks way less DUDE than other guy's rings and I love it.

      With the black, a tiny band would look cool - like a thin tattoo. A fat one is going to look super Ed Hardy.

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    3. thin bands on men = ew

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    4. yeah... not ragging on your guy- but i second anon. anything thinner than 4mm makes me do a double take. very femme

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    5. Whatever. Thick bands on men = trying too hard to be macho about wearing jewelry.

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    6. My husbands band is on the thinner side and he loves it bc it's comfy. A thick band would annoy him when he does farm work. It s gold and looks plenty masculine on him because HE.is masculine. A ring isn't going to change your whole persona! Pick something he can wear forever, comfortably.

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    7. Right, Tonia. My husband is a giant dude with a beard. No one is questioning his masculinity (which, even if they are/were, that's ridiculous).

      He likes things that are old, classic and thoughtful. His ring is so thin it almost disappears. It kind of reminds me of tying a string around his finger. Less like he's wearing JEWELRY.

      [Husband just saw me commenting on this - while I'm cooking breakfast and he would like to note that he got the thin to match mine - that was one of his priorities - and that since he got it, like, 3 guys we know have copied him]

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    8. Hillary, by now we all believe you & don't doubt that your husband can have both a thin band and a penis. Thank you.

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    9. Obviously, Hilary, you and me and our thin-ringed men should have a beer together sometime.

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  5. There are lots of Etsy options for black gold-plated bands, but the one I found says right in the description to expect wear and tear on the finish. Not sure a plated ring would hold up over time. Maybe it's possible to have it re-plated every few years to keep it looking nice?

    Full disclosure: I don't personally like the black/tungsten/steel/titanium rings. So what about something with a matte or brushed finish, to avoid the shiny? Like this matte gold or this brushed platinum.

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    1. I have two matte gold rings that are now almost completely shiny - just from friction and wear, I guess. So never discount the inadvertent inter-digit polishing effect.

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    2. i second this, my husband works with his hands & the matte finish was gone in a month.

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    3. Fascinating, I hadn't even thought of that. Does anybody know whether you can (for lack of a better term) re-mattefy jewelry? I'd be interested to hear from a jeweler about that, as I'm sure there are folks out there who want to wear their ring every day and keep the original finish.

      The more you know!

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    4. You can re-mattefy gold (our jewelry had done it to his own ring, after polishing it and deciding he didn't like it). Although to my understanding, the process was basically just beating it up.

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    5. It's not hard to re-finish matte silver. It involves putting it in a tumbler ("beating it up") or brushing with a flexshaft (standard metalsmith's tool). Any matte finish, oxidation or liver of sulfur (used to blacken silver) will eventually be polished off with wear.

      I would say enamel is the best bet for permanent black detail on silver. It might chip, but these Memento Mori rings lasted a few centuries.

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  6. This enamel/metal band at Bario-Neal looks nice.

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    1. that's my husband's band!!! but his is in matte gold. it's an amazing design, and I think the gold brings out the black a bit.

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  7. "worshipfully"... eyeroll.

    all of those rings are hideous. black or not.

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  8. I love Todd Reed's rings (for both men and women) and he has some non-shiny palladium stuff that might work. I really really love the raw diamonds, and he does custom work as well, if you see something close to what you might like. http://www.toddreed.com/#!/products/men%27s/trdr351-titanium

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  9. Agreed on the staying away from Tungsten Carbide...nothing like having to get your finger and your ring removed in an emergency...not worth it. Plain 10K gold band will get lots of wear and markings over 30+ years...like your marriage.Plus it's a classic.

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  10. Those with ER concerns are uninformed. My husband has a black Tungsten Carbide band because he works with his hands all day. Tungsten rings are far safer than standard gold rings because they break instead of crushing. Under pressure, the ring will just snap off. My vintage ring is undergoing so much abuse at work that I just got myself a gold plated tungsten band to wear during the day.

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    1. Good point about tungsten and crushing vs. snapping. And titanium rings can be cut off too, unless you somehow got a ring made of, say, aerospace grade titanium. I think the real concern is getting the ring caught on or by something. My first ER shift, a guy came in who had caught his tungsten ring on a bolt and it stripped all the skin and muscle off his finger. The bone wasn't broken, but the flesh was too mangled to put back on so they amputated. Of course, you can have a degloving with any ring, but I think the damage could be worse, on average, with a ring made of harder material.

      The smartest thing to do is just not wear a ring at a work. Everybody I know who works with their hands/power tools/heavy machinery would scoff at the idea.

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    2. I WAS NOT WRONG



      i need to un-update the update.

      "degloving"? EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH

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  11. I really love this post because my FH and I were discussing what kind of ring he would like. He doesn't have anything specific in mind, but he knows what he doesn't want. He basically described the ring in the post...might have said something about douchebags...

    Before anyone attacks me-I'm sure her FH is not a douchebag! It's hard to find rings for guys that walk the line of cool-masculine-unique/douchey.

    Funny timing, though.

    Check these guys out! Their custom work is really varied (found under the Bespoke tab) if you're open to that.

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  12. black and/or tungsten and/or titanium rings = the ed hardy of wedding bands

    there is a reason people choose gold.

    that is all.

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  13. sandblasted heat treated titanium has a lovely dark grey matte look to it. I'm pretty sure the same saw they use for gold rings is for titanium ones, so no worries in the ER. Only problem is you wont be able to re-size it and you'll need to find an art student to make you one...

    Whilst the art student in me appreciates the thought you're putting into your wedding bands, the jeweller I became is telling you that gold or silver are probably a lot more practictal for the course of a marriage...

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  14. If I may, this is kind of what my brother in law chose for his wedding band :

    http://www.boutique-alliance.com/alliances-de-mariage-breuning/1021-alliance-de-mariage-breuning-black-white-13035072g.html

    I promise it's not as bad as it looks on the picture but for some reason, we french people suck at taking nice pictures of jewellery... (I don't even know where of if you could find it in the US)

    I hope you find what you want !

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  16. I think some one just wanted to brag about their $12,000 ring set

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    1. HA! I was thinking the same thing.

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  17. Sarah Graham makes some nice oxidized cobalt bands. This one is all black, but I prefer this one with some yellow gold.

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  18. My husband went with a plain stainless steel band. Pretty cheap, simple, and doesn't get TOO banged up.

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  19. My husband chose a titanium Timoku band somewhat similar to this one:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/burnblue/369488229/

    I'm not a fan of all black rings.

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  20. We got wooden rings and the company makes them in ebony, which would be really dark. This isn't exactly black but a good example:

    wood ring

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  21. Silver with handout granite, the main bit you see would be pretty black:
    http://www.stepheneinhorn.co.uk/oxford-ring-sterling-silver-hand-cut-granite.asp?pc2=J1%2D650SGRA

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  22. haaaaaa. i needed that. thank you.

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  23. My husband has a hammered platinum band with matte finish similar to the ragged band above but a little wider and platinum...much better than black in my book. We went to a jeweler who does custom work locally.

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  24. My husband (a car nerd) has a carbon fiber ring and though I'm not crazy about the color, HE likes it. It's super lightweight and it's matte!

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  25. I actually kind of like the look of oxidized silver.

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/115928121/silver-large-band-wedding-ring-sterling?ref=sr_gallery_41&ga_search_query=oxidized+silver+ring+men&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=handmade

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  26. I like Karen Konzuk's jewelry. This collection has some black/partially black rings that are nice because they're wide but not thick and bulky...
    -Inés.

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  27. Nope. Still don't like black wedding bands.

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  28. My husband chose a black zirconium ring with a thin line of exposed zirconium (which is actually silver, not black) offset from the centre. It's brushed rather than polished so it doesn't have a shine to it - something that I find a lot of tungsten-carbide rings seem to have and that, personally, I dislike intensely.

    It looks a fair bit like this: http://www.geti.cc/index.php?option=com_hikashop&ctrl=product&task=show&cid=10735&name=4008gpb&Itemid=135&category_pathway=17

    He chose it in zirconium because he is an engineer who wears an iron ring on the little finger of his "working" hand and since that's his left and wedding bands go on the left hand, he needed a durable metal to wear against the iron-steel ring.

    I have no complaints about it and I actually think it really suits him. I especially like it because he chose it himself from a locally owned jeweller, so it means HE likes it and we got it from a source that is easy to deal with and reputable.

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  29. scoscha makes a nice dark men's band: see?

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  30. I'm a little late to the convo, but gold can also be blackened. I personally love this for a me.

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