Monday, July 30, 2012
Dear ESB: Since you're ASKED to be a bridesmaid, is it ever all right to say no?
Since you're *asked* to be a bridesmaid- is it ever all right to say no? One of my best friends asked 5 or 6 girls (none of whom I know) and I to be her bridesmaids in her incredibly lavish wedding-to-be (which is going to be held 10 states away from me). My husband & I recently (2 weeks ago) bought our first house, oh and speaking of your pre-pregnant question-asker- I may or may not be preggo. I know that being in her wedding is going to cost me a ton (realistically probably 2k), and we're saving every penny we've got. Plus, I've done the bridesmaid thing before & everyone knows it sucks. I don't want to feel resentful towards all of the requirements and "duties" that a traditional bride such as she expects.
I didn't have her or any of my other friends/family as a "wedding party" and just let them relax, worry about themselves, and party down. I'd like to just go as a guest & enjoy her day. There is no way I can say "I'm just not into it"; If I find out I'm pregnant in a couple weeks then it's a no brainer- I wouldn't haul my 8 mo. pregnant ass down the aisle in a bridesmaid dress and I'm sure she'd understand. But if not- I'm hesitant to use the "we're strapped for cash" excuse because money is no object, she'd just kindly pay. So how the hell do you say thanks but no thanks?
P.S. she's super sensitive.
Have you climbed up your own asshole??
I get that you are soooooooo over weddings, and you're fixing up your house and charting your cycle and all of that fun newlywed stuff, but when one of your BEST FRIENDS asks you to be a bridesmaid, you do not say "thanks but no thanks." You say "I would love to!"
Photo: Hailey Clauson by Aitken Jolly for EXIT Magazine Spring/Summer 2012 via Mode via Thunder In Our Hearts