Friday, July 13, 2012

For the TOMS BRIDE


Since your sister is REFUSING to send you a photo of the dress with the Toms, a kind reader has mocked up a photo for you.

47 comments:

  1. Hahahaha. Well done. I like the choice of venue.

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  2. Oh man. Bad choice K.

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  3. i want a mocked-up photo of the exquisitely embellished shoes!

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    1. Yes, please. Especially with the peacock essences and feathers going every which way with rosettes and the Kentucky Derby invention.

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  4. This is awesome.

    I found a photo online that I think is a pretty accurate representation but I didn't want to drag those poor maids into this (they've been through enough already).

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  5. Oh wow. Even I can admit this is awful. Amazing.

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  6. eesh, not good.

    If it HAS to be Toms, can you at least trade them in for something from their bridal range (ballet, flats, wedges): http://www.toms.com/wedding

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    1. WOW, was toilet paper the wedding theme?

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    2. why the eff does toms have a wedding line?! Is this a thing? I mean a thing that stretches beyond the Kentucky derby sister feud wedding?

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  7. A nicer bridesmaid gift would be a bottle of Jack. Help them forget about the shoes you're making them wear.

    I can't wait to show my mom this. She is all hissy about me letting the maids where nude (or "flesh" as she likes to call them) colored shoes. HA.

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  8. I just wore this exact dress in a friends wedding! In case Photoshop didn't make it obvious enough, trust me, it would look awful with Toms.

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  9. Let me just say that as the maker of this rendering, I hope the dress model never ever comes upon this image. Please forgive me for messing with your feet. I also apologize to the background image of Rwanda. Although I would have preferred Argentina, for obvious reasons, this was my favorite google image search result for 'dirt path'. I'll stuff all my other sorries in a sack...

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    1. Alison, you are truly an artist, and I think we can all agree that we're grateful for this masterpiece/travesty.

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    2. Clearly you're the true "craft magician"

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  10. For the love of God. Fing terrible. Even though the sister complaining is a real see you next tuesday...I don't blame her.

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    1. The word is CUNT, and they're both pretty cunty. I would complain if my sister tried to make me wear that shit!

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  11. Yuck Yuck Yuck Yuck Groooooossssssssss

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  12. Did anyone else Google Image search Bridesmaids in Toms?

    A few highlights:

    Essence of peacock?

    Do Tom's make everyone's legs look short and chubby?

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    1. Ahahahaha!!! So terrible,and look at how the bride in the first pic gets to wear normal sexy shoes! Yes they do make everyone's legs look short and chubby.

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    2. Oh god I'm dying. I love that the bride wore heels while the bridesmaids had to wear ugly Toms with rosettes that make them look like children's shoes. Bahaha

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    3. As ugly as they are, at least the first one has floor length dresses.

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    4. AHAHAHAHA! The essence of peacock - I think I weed a bit!

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    5. Oh dear lord - looking at all of those white toms made me think a) hospital patient b) nun c) hospitalized nun.

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  13. I want to fire the fucking bride from her wedding for thinking this was a good idea.

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  14. After reading this I started internet-ing around for Toms alternatives.

    I found this company and really love their style.

    Pretty Shoes!

    Why they aren't like Toms

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    Replies
    1. This is great, thanks for the link

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    2. agreed, thanks Anon 4:14!

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  15. The joke used to be that brides made their bridesmaids wear ugly dresses so that they wouldn't outshine the lady of the day. Now, bridesmaid dresses are not so gaudy, so the bride has to make them wear ugly shoes!

    ESB, your blog has so much shoe drama. Apparently weddings create shoe anxiety.

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  16. WHERE IS THE ESSENCE OF PEACOCK?

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    1. I ABSOLUTELY SECOND CARA HERE.

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  17. I don't understand how anyone could possibly think that pairing toms with a cocktail dress would come out okay, and how they believe that in doing so they have any sort of vision on wedding day style. YIKES.

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  18. OMG I wore a similar dress in that same color (Jasmine B2 b2096) with HOT PINK SPARKLY platforms. http://www.glamfull.com/nine-west-armcandy-platform-sandal-11241/

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