Can I get an A-friggin'-men?
I would encourage every bride to have 10 dresses for her wedding, of course, so I could sell a whole collection to one bride.No- I agree finding ONE dress that you really like and feel comfortable wearing all night is the best way to do it.And if you have the extra money for a second dress better spend extra money on a dress that you really love and that you will wear again or on killer shoes.
AMEN! After our reception, my husband gave me a piggy-back ride to our cabin (we got married at a resort), because my feet were so sore from dancing. I stood around in the bedroom lolligagging because I didn't want to take my dress off. Finally my husband was like OK LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD! But it was a really precious moment, looking at myself in the mirror as a bride one last time, with my husband nearby admiring me. And it totally would not have happened if I had changed into a "party" dress after dinner, hurriedly, alone (or with the help of a bridesmaid), in a cramped bathroom.
Ugh. Yes. Thank you. Your wedding is not a photo shoot = no costume changes.
no fucking shit. :)
thank you for this post. i've uttered that same phrase (f-bomb included) several times. i hope many many many many many brides see it and realize how ridiculous having two dresses is (and a waste of money).
Haha you are so pissed off, I love it. And thank god I only had one dress, or this post would embarrass the shit out of me
WTF! 2 dresses? bridzilla, you're not lady gaga on world tour
ps I take it back. I remember a friend of mine who wore jeans and a golden top after midnight. but that doesnt count because she rocked it
I'm going to have a back up dress for the reception. It will be nowhere near as fancy as my gown. It will be a lovely cocktail dress.Why? Because I am frightfully clumsy. I'm serious. I would not be surprised to see red wine down the front of my lovely gown, me or someone else stepping on it and it tearing horribly or me tripping and falling on the way to the venue causing my off white gown to acquire all the dirt and grime a NYC sidewalk or street will allow.I've been known to carry Shout Wipes around and a band-aid. A second dress is that on a bigger scale.
@Peggy: on the dirt thing, i kind of treasure the grass stains and cobblestone-prints my dress picked up over the course of my wedding day. i know no one's going to wear it again, so i feel like they were souvenirs. @ESB: what if you tear away your wedding dress and have another wedding dress underneath?
@lauren I would need to see an example. preferably on vimeo.
@lauren: I get what your saying. Its a very sweet way of thinking about it.
i changed into a new dress for the "running off to our honeymoon" bit.so SHUT UP.(you know i love you.)
I had a just-in-case party dress with me, and I did eventually change into it toward the end of the night. Which was good, cause then people got to properly see and admire my SHOES.(Said party dress has been rocked at many a party since, though. And the original wedding dress was sold on, to spread the dress love. So... I wasn't a complete eejit. Although I do agree with you in the main.)
You're welcomehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pegr1hAYmE8Start @ 1:05
For the record, you are SUPPOSED to trash your wedding dress on your wedding night. And wear it barefoot at the after party and probably spill champagne on it. You are not going to wear it again, even if you spend $300 to get it delicately preserved in a special box.I'm still planning to chop off the bottom of mine (the grey, stained part) and wear it as a cocktail dress. That is if I ever manage to lose the last 5 post-prego pounds.But regardless, why spend all the time and money on a "ceremony dress" if you're going to wear for ONE HOUR??? Spend the extra money on amazing shoes that you'll wear over and over. Or a killer honeymoon dress or special jewelry. ANYTHING but a second dress. Srsly.(apparently this is a pet peeve of mine as well.)
@peggy i'm going to have to agree with lauren here. by the end of the night, my dress had wine spilled down the front of it. we got married outside, so the bottom is covered in dirt and there's dried grass stuck in some of the lace parts. all that stuff makes me love it even more because it proves i had an amazing time.
tip for any other bride to be's: use white wine for the ceremony so you don't ruin the dress at the beginning. However, I'm not sure if all ceremonies use wine at all (I'm having a Jewish wedding).
Another big fat ditto.
My dad and I swing dance, and instead of a traditional slow dance with my dad we are having a swing band... I can't flip around *literally in a full length dress, so ya, I have planned for a short dress for the last half of the evening, but it was after my dad looked at me totally concerned and said, so we won't be able to dance, dance (insert sad dad face)?! How do you say no to that?It's not about being all hip and cool or whatever, but wanting to be able to have that moment with my dad is very important!
grazie mille per questa post! totally nailed it.
i'm in total agreeance- but i must say, YOU might not wear it again, but your future daughter may want to. my mom had a GORGEOUS dress, the same gown tricia nixon wore that made the cover of life magazine, that i would have loved to rock. it is torn, wine stained, grass stained, rusted (??? pins i guess?), looks like a shark took a bit out of the back of it, and i'm pretty sure my dad vommed on it... as he told my fiance the other day to "carry on the family tradition of drinking from 6 am till you puke on your new bride." but from the goofy smile on her face as she ran around the house wearing it last week after i dug it out of a box lets me know all the imperfections were worth it. and i feel less bad cutting it up to make stuff out of!
maybe it's just me, but trashing one expensive dress seems just as frivolous as buying two in the first place. i originally planned to wear my mother's dress for the ceremony & change into a cocktail dress, because hippy love child dress with a train does not = great dancing dress. (plus it seemed reasonable because i'd only be buying one new dress.) however, i ended up buying a dress i LOVE and can't imagine wanting to ever take it off. so there will be no wardrobe change.
could not agree more. i HATE seeing two dresses...can't stand it.
Thank you so much for posting this. When I was having an existential crisis about my dress (I thought I wanted a short dress after buying a long one ... I got over it), someone on a message board said, "Oh, just get a short dress for your reception!" No. Because that's a bigger mother-effing waste of money, time, and sanity.
I totally agree! Wtf do you need two dresses for?!
Ha! I do, generally, agree with this. I was the matron of honor in a wedding where the bride had THREE dresses. She had cocktail hour before the ceremony, so she had a teal cocktail dress for that, then we changed her into her big old super-corseted wedding gown. Then we changed her into a satin Ginger Rogers-y dress for the reception (which I had to sew her into because the zipper stopped working). It was pretty crazy. But, we are costumers. We must be forgiven these things :)
I also do not understand the costume change. Why pick a dress that you don't love enough to wear all day, for everything? Of course, with everything, there are exceptions. When my BFF got married her ceremony dress was an off-the-rack $100 summer dress from Nordstrom's. Her reception dress was similarly off-the-rack and inexpensive, in a gorgeous red (that her mom bot for her, without her even being there). She was so happy in both the linen dress for her hippy outdoor ceremony and her bright red party dress, as she is both a big hippy and a big party girl.
Fully agree, love this!
Disagree. It felt soooo good to get out of my ceremony dress (after being in it all day long) and slip into something short and fun and fit for the dance floor that night... xo.
If you're not comfortable in a long dress - don't wear a long dress. Really, why is a long dress a requirement if it inhibits your fun so much you have to change out of it anyway?
Umm, I am getting married at the courthouse on a Friday, and my reception is the next night. You bet your ASS I want two outfits!Perhaps because I don't give a crap about tulle, beading or satin this is easier for me, but 2 outfits isn't a burden, it's a chance to express myself twice. I am wearing a leopard print circle dress to my reception. EFF YEAH.
I kind of understand the irritation with brides being over the top. BUT It's really strange that on a blog about ignoring wedding rules, there are all these other rules instead. Seriously have as many fucking dresses as you want, have ten, one in every colour of the rainbow, whatever, these things do not matter. STOP JUDGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Personally I get more riled about every blinking bride wearing white ;)
I loved my dress so much I wore it to the bar after the wedding and didn't want to take it off. I'm not getting it cleaned yet because after that I won't be able to wear it around my apartment when I feel sad. I thought about having a second dress for dancing, because I had a really poufy dress, but really, I just had the tailor hem it to not-floor-length (it was about an inch above the floor) and I didn't have a problem dancing except when we tried to do grapevines during our waltz and I stepped on the bustle, which didn't secure up high enough. The rest of the first dance, I just held my skirt out of my way. And I'm clumsy as hell and was just fine, so to everybody who is worried, just don't. It's gonna be okay.
agreed. especially since, when are you ever going to wear that dress again?p.s. just found you through 100 Layer Cake. your sane advice is a tonic in the crazy world of weddings
If you want to wear two dresses then fuck it and wear two dresses. When else do you get to make costume changes. (Although finding one dress is hard enough.)
It's a long time after the post, but I was *amazed* reading this, and then reading the comments. Normally, I love ESB as a source of not-taking-yourself-or-your-wedding-too-seriously wisdom (so am still reading it quite a while after getting hitched). But this one just got me. Why the F do you need a "wedding dress" anyway, or nine matching bridesmaids, or a three tiered cake, or any of the expected hoo ha if it's not you, or what you like, or it's what the industry pushes on you for no decent reason. *But* equally, if you want two dresses just because you love clothes and can't decide which dress you love more, and it's completely "you" to do that, for heaven's sake don't hold back. I did wear two dresses (my main wedding dress, an evening gown that I adored, I wore for most of the reception), and a separate dress to dance in (as a dancer, I wanted to be able to move comfortably, which didn't suit the dress) - I had no hesitation, and no boundless extravagance just because of the extra variety. Sorry to perhaps be on a bit of a soap box, but it'd be good to just make people feel good about their choices - sure, you don't *need* two, but don't feel like a commercial bridezilla if you *want* two, as long as you're still being yourself...
I don't see what the big deal is. It's the bride's day and she can do whatever she wants for whatever reason. Don't be so judgemental... It's not your wedding.
I had two wedding dresses- the ceremony dress was a tulle ballgown and the reception dress was a taffeta mermaid gown. Both were full length and ivory, the first I had a veil with, the second dress I wore a feather headpiece. I did it because I could never find "that perfect dress" and decided to hell with it, I looked amazing in both. I was smart with my shopping though and the budget I had for one gown streched to accommodate both gowns (I bought them on sale). It was the best decision I ever made and it left everyone speechless. My photos look amazing too :) One dress just didn't do me justice. The whole "one perfect dress" thing is just a marketing myth anyway.
I don't get it? If the bride wants to wear two dresses I don't see why not? It's one day. Why not go all out?
Exactly. Everyone with anger management problems who are "hating" seeing two dresses should take their meds and move on. The weddings now cost 30g avg. If you buy two dresses for a thousand total. Or one for two thousand, what the hell is the difference. Lol sheesh quit complaining. Brides do what makes you happy. Only one day to wear a white beautiful dress in your life. Enjoy and take millions of pics.
Oh please, don't hate on the two dresses. And if you do have two dresses and came across this post, do NOT be embarrassed!!! My fiance and I are ballroom dancers, something that brought us together and helped us establish a deep connection. You better believe we will be dancing the night away at our wedding! And if you think that can be done comfortably in a gown... you're mistaken. It's every girl's dream to wear a beautiful wedding dress, and I am. But, I'm not going to miss out on our favorite thing to do just because I'm wearing a gown. I'm changing into a fabulous cocktail dress and my guests are going to think it's the funnest wedding they every went to. It's 2013, we should all realize by now that weddings are supposed to be SEXY. I know this blog is for entertainment purposes, and i enjoy reading it for laughs...but I had to defend the "costume" change for my sexy ladies out there who aren't afraid to be a classy bride and a vixen! Woohoo, good luck girls! Have fun and make your wedding about YOU! Don't pay attention to the haters who don't have the balls to do anything daring ;-)
why would I wear two dresses? Because I don't give a fuck!
I guess it depends, like if your japanese of chineese its a custom. but I personally think its pointless.
Yeah. its a waste of money and on your wedding day the point of a wedding dress is to wear it ALL day! its about the only day you'll probably ever wear it.
WASTE OF MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its a waste of MY money, but it's our wedding so I'm rocking two dresses so I can dance comfortably and fit in the bathroom stalls!
I'm thinking about wearing two dresses!! And I'm in complete love with my wedding gown!! It's a maggie sottero ballgown that was way under budget!! However after purchasing the dress my fiance and my grandma mentioned they want me to wear something sexier.( they haven't seen it yet) So I'm thinking about doing a dress change before cake cutting!! (Closer to end of reception) Just to appease them ( Cheap sheath dress, sexy, back out, Davids bridal cheap). Plus once I started thinking, a ballgown, in florida weather, in June for a outside ceremony, dancing, greeting guest, etc. I'm sure I would be hot and sweaty by cake cutting time. Also for us, I'm only the SECOND person to even HAVE a wedding and my fiancé is the FIRST. EVERYONE is traveling at least 5 hours to attend. So to give them a show for their travels I would love to do a dress change!! Im not changing jewelry, etc. Should take 10 to 15 minutes from my guest (plus would be great to have a pee break!! LOL). Also, to say a second wedding dress is a waste a money..then the 200 pair of shoes are too, the at least 300 dollar wedding cake, the florist, etc. You may as well as go to Walmart. If your budget can allow it, Do it. If it's your personality do it!! It's your wedding and you only get married once!! By the way, I plan on keeping both, taking trash the dress photos in both and walking around the house randomly in BOTH!!