Wednesday, June 30, 2010
plz halp. my bridesmaid is dating a TEENAGER.
dear ESB -
i wanted to get your advice on an...issue i'm having. i'm afraid that i'm being completely psychotic (not what i'm going for) and possibly hurting a very good friend's feelings.
said friend is one of my bridesmaids (let's call her K), and we're extremely close. she started dating someone MUCH younger who is a complete and total fucking moron. i've never seen the teenager (yes, teenager) not drunk/trying to get drunk/stealing someone's alcohol/smoking pot/trying to get everyone around him to smoke pot. besides this, he's a total dick - i've tried (as well as the rest of our girlfriends) to be nice to him, always say hello, etc. etc. and he stares at us like we have 3 heads and walks away. he's never remotely social or polite, usually screaming and being really loud and obnoxious. he's, in general, a slob. not only this, but above all, he's a complete ass to her. he's very possessive, jealous, manipulative, you get the point (reading her texts/messages, listening in on her conversations). K and I are in a very tight knit group of friends, and all of us have told her that we think she's much better off without him, but nothing seems to get through to her.
before they started dating, i told K that she was more than welcome to bring a date to the wedding. now, my fiance and i are extremely nervous about having the guy there. i've brought it up with her once before, but she kind of laughed it off, saying that "he can act like an adult when he wants to". my family, while fun and easy to be around, are not going to appreciate a drunk fool screaming during the reception (or smoking pot). i asked the same group of friends if they think i'm being ridiculous because i REALLY don't want to hurt her feelings - and all of them agreed that i'm not being nuts. they basically said that the fact that i have to worry about this is enough reason to make sure he doesn't come. they've offered to ask him to leave if he does get too rowdy, but i don't even want it to get to that point. i'm afraid that i'll be on edge and worried the entire day about what he'll do.
i just want to get someone's opinion from the outside looking in. i really care about K a lot, and we're like sisters. the last thing i want to do is hurt her feelings, but i also don't want to have to deal with this moron.
Um, yeah. This is different from yesterday's dilemma.
As long as you're prepared to lose a bridesmaid (and I think the peace of mind will be worth it), tell K that Mr. Conspicuous Pot-Smoker is not invited to the wedding.
(Another Pixie Geldof photo by Alasdair McClellan for British Vogue via Refinery29)