Thursday, June 10, 2010
My MIL invited a priest to the wedding
Dear East Side Bride,
I'm not religious (my family is Hindu, I went to Episcopalian school, but I don't believe in organized religion) but my fiancé is Catholic. He's very open-minded and doesn't believe in the dogma/hypocrisy/etc. that bothers me about organized religion. His mother, on the other hand, was very upset when we announced our plan to have a secular, non-church wedding (it's going to be officiated by a friend and we're writing the ceremony ourselves). To appease her, I've agreed to go with their family to their hometown church after the honeymoon and have our wedding "blessed" by their family priest. This is something I would never do, except that he wants to make his mom happy, but it turns out that it's not enough. His parents invited the priest on their side of the guest list, and it turns out he'll be traveling here to attend our wedding. This happened months ago, and I figured it wasn't my right to complain because they have a close relationship with this priest. But yesterday she asked my fiancé whether it would be okay if the priest offered a blessing before the meal. My immediate instinct was "no way!" I also know that my parents (who are hosting the wedding) would not be happy about this. I've suggested that my fiancé tell his Mom to invite the priest to the rehearsal dinner the night before (which his parents are hosting) and the priest could offer a blessing there, but as far as I'm concerned there's no place for something like that at my wedding. I also explained that since my parents are hosting I think it's fair that their feelings be respected. He thinks neither of these will come across as a good/gracious/convincing reason to his mother, so I'm asking for your help for ways to think of a nice way to explain that we do not want the priest to bless the meal. Just because she invited him as a guest does not mean that all of a sudden he gets to participate.
Thanks in advance for any help you can offer!
You have been more than gracious. Offering to let the priest to bless the rehearsal dinner is a perfect (and generous) solution.
Tell your fiancé to stop being a such pussy and stand up to his mother already.
(Image from D Mode February 2010 via TOBACCO&LEATHER)