Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Seeking: a dress to match a fascinator




Dear ESB,

I'm so happy that I have an excuse to email you. I'm having a fascinator made for my shower, as I won a custom-made hat at a derby party last year. The headpiece is being modeled after this one [see above].

I have tried on dress after dress and have been happy with NADA. All this over just a shower dress! I'm a 34D so open-backed dresses are a no-go, as I look simply pornographic without a bra. My budget is $500 max.

Any suggestions?

P.S. I think I love this dress, but I'm afraid it's too Lolita-esque, especially with the fascinator.

*****

I was all ready to say DON'T WEAR A FUCKING FASCINATOR, but am now eating my words. That shit is awesome.

SAVE IT FOR YOUR FUCKING WEDDING!


p.s. Will yours be made out of a karate belt?????? I hope I hope.

34 comments:

  1. I'm pretty sure that's not the dress you want to be wearing with that fascinator, but you already know that.

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  2. one word: RAD.

    ESB highlighted some cool new Zara dresses last week that I immediately thought of when I saw this picture.

    Though I get your concern over looking like an adult baby doll so maybe a lace dress isn't the best route....

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  3. I'm with esb: why not wear this to your wedding? Or rehearsal dinner, at least? A shower seems far too un-glamorous to waste this crazy contraption.

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  4. Wild and wonderful. I'd say the main thing is to be sure and wear your hair (if possible) in a similarly baroque up-do like the model in the photo, so everything balances out. ;)

    As for dresses you might wear to the shower, how about going for metallic or grey to match the fascinator?

    A tad over-budget, but nicely structured and the shape of the back even seems to match the fascinator:

    http://www.theoutnet.com/product/320643

    Gold rather than silver, but in your price range, made of lace, and more sophisticated than doll-like:

    http://www.theoutnet.com/product/355185

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  5. is that the infamous tavi-bow? i feel like that's the tavi-bow.

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  6. This really really really looks like a nightie. I can't get past it.

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  7. Absolutely something fitted, with long sleeves.

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  8. some nice options at steven alan - floral shift in a similar shape to your lace dress, or a cute sleeveless white & gray one that looks like it would match the bow. also, i agree with something fitted, but not necessarily with long sleeves.

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    Replies
    1. LW here - I have been ogling that Bianca dress for ages but they are now sold out in my size. My heart breaks. If only the other one didn't have an open back!

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  9. Will someone please wear this linen twist dress with some hard-core shoes?

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    Replies
    1. I think simple dress/crazy hat is a pretty good pairing. These patterned dresses mentioned above, including the op's lace one, are all wayyyy too much with the bow.

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  10. tbh I was expecting you to say "why blow your white dress load before the wedding"

    Otherwise, ia, save it for your wedding! JUST DO IT. BE AWESOME.

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  11. Is you hat going to be in a similar greyish color? It would look so sci-fi with something structured and colorful, like this cool orange Acne dress and some minimal sandal heels.

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    Replies
    1. The color would look just wretched on me but that makes me love it even more!

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    2. You are fabulous. Buying. THANK YOU!

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    3. STOP. now you're making *me* want to buy it.

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    4. If I had a lady, I'd really want to buy it for her.

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  12. I wish I was attending derby parties that involved millinery give aways! This is not the Tavi bow, which was purple I think. But if you're going to wear a hat that obstructs people's vision a little, I think your wedding is a good place to do it. I agree with above people suggesting that the hat needs something minimalist, though, especially if you do the hair all big like the model did. I wonder if big hair worn down would also be sort of hot, though maybe *then* it would seem to Lolita-y. Hats also accentuate posture, so stand up straight!

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  13. I'm pretty sure you are not a 34 D. I'm a 34 D and I do not have pornographic boobs. Please get yourself properly measured, for the sake of your poor boobs.

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    Replies
    1. I am a 34D and I can promise you that I (not necessarily every other 34D) cannot go braless. I'm no Kate Upton. Just trust me on this one.

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    2. I mean, I'm around a 34D and have neither pornographic boobs NOR can I go braless. But, I mean, who can go braless above a small B?

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    3. clearly some ppl are watching more porn than other ppl

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  14. I say go with a bright block colour dress, will compliment the bow. no need for white at the shower!

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  15. That orange Acne dress is dead on (although I don't think everyone would look good in that color).

    I would consider wearing the headpiece to a different event, though. I've never been to a shower in my life that was worthy of something that spectacular. Showers are usually just ice tea and aunts.

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