Monday, November 12, 2012
It's never bloody simple.
Dear ESB, I have a dilemma.
I shall set the scene for you first:
We are getting married in 6 months time in an idyllic country church in a small village in Somerset where my FH grew up. The reception will be held on his parents' substantial rural gorgeous property (think thatched farmhouse, extensive grounds and gardens, large barn for dining). We are deliriously, happily in love and looking forward to celebrating with 80ish of our close friends and family.
I was going to have zero bridesmaids, I'm really anti-traditional wedding protocol and there will be no speeches just music, dancing and lots of alcohol. The thought of a hen do makes me want to curl up and die. I am a recently retired (read turned 30) DJ and the sight of an L plate and a veil entering the club is ensued by an icy grip on your heart as you come to terms with the knowledge that at some point in the night you are going to be asked to play something truly, truly shit. BUT I do have some wonderful friends and FH has a three year old well behaved niece so I have myself a wedding party...plan number 1 failed. Included are my two best friends, my two teen cousins and said small one. This is when I started to spiral into difficulty, even though we both wanted this to be as simple and easy as possible- it never bloody is.
The father of one of my teen bridesmaids is my ex-uncle, through a now-broken-up marriage. To put it bluntly, he is a twat. A BMW driving, twice bankrupted, wife-beating, lying, cheating, charming, troublemaking, double glazing salesman. My Aunt is still in close contact with him (WHY), as is (obviously) his daughter- who thinks he is a saint and doesn't know the half of it. Now they expect it as a given that he will be invited- I mean what the fuck??? Why on earth would I want the man who had a punch up at his own wedding, and started a fight at my other aunts wedding at my own sacred nuptials- the guy has a track record.
My Ma hates him and is on my side. My FH's parents are amazing, seriously fucking brilliant refined gentle country people and I love them and never want to expose them to this low-life. But my Aunt is Sicilian and can be really scary and hold a grudge and I have visions of her pulling my cousin out the wedding if I don't comply. I've tested the waters and talked to other members of my family, stating that there is no way I'm having him there and they have stuck up for him saying he's changed and is cool now. He is not, I saw him a while back, he was drunk and unpleasant, but not as bad as I remember.
Now I'm starting to think maybe we should just invite him to avoid all the tension (as I said my Aunt is fucking scary and should keep him in line) do I risk it just to have an easy life?
Right now I'm burying my head in the sand and concentrating on the smug, warm feeling I get when I remember that my dressmaker, who owns a little vintage shop in a nearby village and whom I stumbled on by chance, just casually dropped into conversation at my last fitting that she has worked for both Galliano and Dior. This is a way better feeling then the former.
Come on, littlerockgirl. Did you lose your backbone when you turned 30??
Don't invite the twat.
Photo by Cass Bird for Muse Magazine