Thursday, August 12, 2010
on engagement party etiquette and telling Bridezilla to STFU
One of my best girlfriends got roped into being a bridesmaid for a "friend" of ours from college. Let's be honest - they aren't that great of friends, but what could she do? Anyways Bridezilla is the definition of tactless. The wedding is 15 months away - and they've already been engaged for the last 6 months. so a 21 month engagement, yet they act as if the wedding is next month - meaning endless facebook updates, tweets, and TWO blogs outlining every detail of the whole affair - down to the budget. Mind you these two are only 23 yrs old, fresh out of college, and have no reason to rush down the aisle besides wanting to be the first to do so. They already live together, so it's not a religious or family issue.
Anyways, despite already having 2 engagement parties planned she wants the bridesmaids to throw a third engagement party in NYC - where we all went to college. However, the couple isn't inviting any college friends to the wedding due to their meager budget, yet they want them at this engagement party. How can my friend, the bridesmaid, tell Bridezilla that 1) it isn't appropriate to invite friends to the engagement party and leave them off the wedding guest list and 2) to stop with the online on-slaught of personal info regarding the wedding?
I'd love to just tell her to just STFU but it's not really my place. Am I the only person who cares about etiquette anymore?
You're not the only person who cares about etiquette. But you need to join the 21st century.
According to Martha Stewart, the traditional rules of etiquette, which used to dictate that all the guests invited to the engagement party be invited to the wedding, no longer apply. Martha says "because so many people have very small weddings or hold their ceremonies far from friends and sometimes even from family, the engagement party often includes people who may not be invited to the eventual wedding."
Stop hating on the poor couple because they have a tiny budget! By throwing this third engagement party, they're actually trying to include their friends who aren't invited to the wedding. (Though I do think it's tacky to ask the bridesmaids to throw the party. Why doesn't Bridezilla throw her own damn third engagement party?)
Which brings me to: The Online Onslaught. Is it really your friend the bridesmaid who is so bothered by the barrage of information, or is it you?
Why don't you just unfollow Bridezilla on Twitter? (I do it ALL. THE. TIME.) And "unfriend" her, or whatever the Facebook lingo is. Nobody is forcing you to read her updates.
(Photo by Andrea Spotorno for Ten Magazine via Vain and Vapid)