Monday, August 19, 2013

SeaVees + Teva at BARNEYS?


I've been resisting the damn Birkenstock trend like CRAZY, but I just might go for these.

a) I have never owned a pair of Tevas. Made mad fun of them when all the Seattle dudes were wearing em back in the 90's, but I have never owned a pair.

b) Now that I live in Southern California.... and frequent rocky beaches/get in and out of boats now and then.... I kinda get it.

c) Should I just kill myself?

73 comments:

  1. I don't even know what to say.

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    1. i thought for sure you'd be on board

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    2. This is unforgivable. Universal Sandal? Unforgivable.

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  2. It probably comes as no surprise that I had Tevas as a kid and as an adult I wear my favorite pair of tried-and-true Chacos almost every day. They're practical and comfy and tough enough to hike in when your hiking boots have given you blisters and you need an alternative (I bet Cheryl Strayed wishes she had had a pair on the PCT with her after she threw her boots off the side of a mountain.) Embrace your inner Nature Girl and get a pair. ;)

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    1. Short answer: no. They are just slightly less fug.

      But I got them for my honeymoon in Costa Rica a few weeks ago & they were super comfy and very practical.

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    2. I mean, it's not like The Sartoralist hangs out in the woods of Northern WI. There's no one to impress. Practical > FUG.

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    3. Are these supposed to look different than normal Tevas? I don't see it.

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    4. Also, I agree with Tonia.

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    5. Something isn't fug/chic simply by virtue of being sold at Barney's. Sorry.
      If you want comfortable, go comfortable. Just don't delude yourself.

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    6. I can't believe you are dogging on Tonia for having "fug" sandals! I Googled Chacos and they are IDENTICAL to these Tevas. There are different variations but some of them look just like these--just. Well, to the untrained hippie eye, anyway.

      When are you getting in and out of dinghies in LA. I mean, Silver Lake isn't an actual lake as far as I understand...

      (Jokes aside: I agree that there are functional reasons to own Tevas/Chacos/Whatever--but there are NOT fashionable reasons)

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    7. OMG. don't get Chacos! They are soooo painful to wear. All these Portlanders just kept telling me I needed to "break them in" 2 summers of non-stop wear (I was working outside teaching canoeing and hiking with campers all day) I FINALLY threw them away. The blisters, arch pain, and over all STANK made me give up and go back to Tevas. Which are little pillows of heaven in comparison. And cute? NO. Neither. No way...but, if you really are getting in and out of the water on a rocky coast, it's worth it! Save your cute shoes for another day. Or stick to yachts. hahaha ;)

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  3. Just kill yourself and get some damn saltwaters if you must.

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  4. TEVAS ARE IN NO WAY CHIC! It's like wearing a big ol' sign that says "I give up"

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    1. i mean. i wouldn't wear them in the *city*

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    2. If I needed water shoes, I would get these which double as socially acceptable shoes:
      See by Chloe

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    3. these are ridiculous. and would slice into your feet. please no.

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  5. not sure what these would accomplish that less-ugly sandals would not.

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    1. navigating underwater barnacles. getting in and out of rubber dinghies. you know.

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    2. i realize this is a variation on our discussion of puffer coats (FUCK PUFFER COATS, STILL), but one can do all of those things in rainbows.

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  6. Sometimes I see smokin' hot little hipster ladies, with their high waist cut off shorts and slouchy triangle print tank tops and wispy side braids and festival-esque crossbody bags in our western town and they're always wearing TOMs or these and I'm all WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK THESE CANNOT SERIOUSLY BE IN?!

    But I guess they are.

    Jackson Hole is all systems a-go on the Chacos/Teva train. Do with that what you will.

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    1. THANK YOU


      not that i'm a smokin hot little hipster lady. but THANK YOU. also: you know i would never wear toms.

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    2. Not even if Barney's started carrying them for twice the price?

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    3. I don't get the Teva thing, but I bought a pair of super grandma Bass sandals long before Rachel Antonoff tried to make Bass happen so do what makes you feel good, ESB.

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  7. I'm a huge fan of these from South Willard. They're not waterproof, but they last forever, wear in nicely, and are slightly more stylish.

    I am actually a big fan of the simple Tevas. They're not stylish, but they are cute.

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    1. not for water, but CUTE!!

      they look comfier than the ancient greeks....

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  8. Merrells are hella comfortable, hella practical, and near-indestructible. Of course, the Hawaii crowd votes that all you need for water/beaches/everything is a good pair of slippers.

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  9. Those are UGLY. they make slightly less ugly ones...
    functional and trying a little
    thinner straps then yours

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    1. Eeeeeehhhhh. I wouldn't call those less ugly. I think doing practical shoes as simply as possible is better than trying to make a practical shoe something it's not with weird straps and patterns, etc.

      Plus, if it happened that she accidentally got tan lines on her feet, those shoes would make some really awkward ones. The shoes ESB chose would make less disastrous lines, IMO.

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    2. Tan lines. good point. I just think the sandals look like they have been sat on.

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    3. Anon 10:43 here again - if you go here and scroll down a bit you can see people wearing them. I think they have an active-cute feel on some of the ladies' feet. It looks like they'll do a good job of actually protecting the foot, too. Aaaany "ugly" shoes are better than a gnarly foot wound.

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    4. 10:22 again... some of those pics -might- have just changed my mind.

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  10. For the situations you'll be wearing them in, I think they're as good as anyone can do. I bet whenever you wear these you'll make the rest of your outfit particularly awesome to try to compensate anyway (though I don't think the extra effort is needed just to "offset" practical footwear).

    I think the color of the strap is pretty, actually. And polyester capri cargos and a bucket hat did not magically appear on my person when I typed those words so I think that's okay. Right?

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    1. What? No. ESB wears t-shirts and jeans, remember? And trying to look super hot while also wearing Tevas will make you look like you're trying very hard, which is never a good look on anyone.

      Embrace their awkward fugly-ness. Appreciate their practicality. Cute outfits have their place in life, but keep your Tevas for the days you're actually DOING something besides being eye-candy.

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  11. I'm gonna have to go with Chacos on this one, especially since it sounds like you are looking for practicality - i.e. getting in and out of boats without slipping/losing your shoes. Suck it up - if you're going to wear tevas, you might as well wear chacos.

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  12. do it.

    i have a pair of chacos that i wear hiking, installing art and when doing housework and they are amazing. my fiance refers to them as "the horrors" but sometimes you just need shoes that get the job done. as long as they remain in their job category, you're safe. (that's what i tell myself at any rate.)

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  13. I'd wear these shoes in a flash before doing the Neutron Dance down a rocky beach, what with all those stones pushing up into my feet... That look is *way* more funked out than any half-bad sandals.

    Ditto for the underwater work. If your feet won't be appearing anytime soon on a National Geographic show, then those shoes will be nearly as well hidden as any gorgeous heels that spend one of the most momentous days of our lives shying beneath a full-length gown.

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  14. Just get some Saltwater Sandals, dude!

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  15. Ohh yeah.

    Buy those. And pair them with a sparkling white tube sock.

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  16. You will want to kill yourself when they start to reek (which is inevitable). Frumpy, geeky and stinky. Awesome.

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  17. I have worn both chacos and tevas to do outdoorsy things and chacos win. With tevas you have velcro and the velcro wears out. Chacos have a much better footbed and are perfectly adjustable.

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  18. I wear Chacos all the time, I gave up on Tevas when I was a little kid for the reasons Megahn mentioned - the velcro gets old and gross. Chacos do really well in the water too - the problem with trying to wear flip flops in the water is that they tend to fall off and float away. I wear the chacos a lot but I work with a bunch of biologists and it's Maine so people aren't too worried about fashionable footwear choices.

    BUT that being said I was recently perusing their website and they are majorly expensive these days. So somehow the Barney's fancy tevas win for price.

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  19. they are slightly horrible. but sometimes it's good to wear slightly horrible things to stay humble and/or remember that your awesomeness will not evaporate entirely just because of what you've strapped around your body.

    I do have to say that I liked them a lot better when I thought the colorway was called "Lova."

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  20. 2 things:
    1) you wanting those things makes you more human! it gives me permission to not be uber chic all the time :)
    2) if you are wearing those things please go buy them in wallmart or something so you do not pay $75, please go cheap for cheap shoes

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    1. Yeah Walmart blows. But you're a sucker if you spend more than 20 bucks on water shoes.

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    2. This. Don't under any circumstances buy anything from Walmart, but also, please don't buy anything at Barneys that is meant for the outdoors. There has to be a middle ground here.

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    3. totally disagree. cheap shoes are going to hurt. you don't want to be trying to have a good time and dealing with achey, cut up feet. invest in a comfy, durable pair. you will continue to find uses for them.

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    4. I've had the cheap ones - go for it if you're into bloody blisters! Seriously, don't cheap out on functional shoes. Suck it up and go to REI.

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  21. This is not a place for fug or chic.

    Think of this as a tool. Use the right tool for the job. Put a pair of Chacos on your feet before you select your tool.

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  22. This is what this post made me think of.

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  23. At this point all I can think about is Quinoa in her college experimentation phase, confused by equal crushes on fraternal twins, Chaco and Teva, trying to choose who will guide her through an enlightening semester of protest rallies and veganism.

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  24. Chacos. Or boat shoes. I spend a fair amount of time on boats and your toes will slip out of tevas.

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  25. Suck it up and go to an outdoors store and try on the options. When you are trying on these shoes and walking around pay attention to how the straps rub your feet. I've never had issues with hiking boots, but I have had water sandals destroy my feet before - I've owned chacos, tevas, northface, etc etc. If the shoes are the least bit uncomfortable, that will be exacerbated when they are wet. Take this from someone that has a degree in camping aka parks & recreation management and spent two weeks of their summer rafting down the grand canyon.

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  26. what a tease! is "birkenstock trend" a link that doesn't go anywhere? THERE'S A TREND? i wear birkenstocks at home & on the weekends with SHAME but should i be holding my head high? am i secretly with it?

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  27. Ok, so I've been wearing Tevas like these (but black) all summer. This is for a few reasons. 1) I'm too broke to buy new sandals. 2) They are incredibly durable and have lasted a couple of heavy west coast summer seasons. 3) I live on the west coast, and beach-walking, hiking, lake swimming, forest exploring and gardening are all part of my regular routine.
    I wondered if I would be able to live another summer without stylish sandals, but shockingly my self-esteem hasn't plummeted, none of my friends have turned their backs on me, and my husband still desires me physically.

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    1. Aha! The world still turns, even though you sometimes wear "fugly" shoes! Amazing! THANK YOU for this comment.

      And: Good grief, ladies.

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    2. Annnnd the captcha thing just made me type AnalLubE 14. I am NOT kidding.

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    3. Ahaha. Matchpoint captcha.

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