Saturday, November 21, 2009
Why renew your vows unless you've BROKEN THEM?
Hey East Side Bride!
I've been following your blog for a long time and I've always loved your thoughts and advice. I got married in February of this year and my husband and I were thinking about renewing our vows and having our closest friends over for a party on our 1 year anniversary. He thinks it's a great idea but I'm worried it might be too cheesy to renew our vows every year. I don't want it to seem too self-indulgent, as if I have to have another "wedding" every year! Of COURSE we will NOT ask for/accept gifts and we won't have bridesmaids or groomsmen or anything. Just a quick ceremony and then party. What are your thoughts?
Funny you should ask... I was just ranting about this the other day. A vow renewal implies -- to me -- that someone has broken a vow. (See: Madonna and Guy Ritchie) The concept originated with couples who were rebuilding their marriages. It skeeves me out that people have started to use it as an excuse to plan what is essentially a second wedding, egged on by consumer-oriented wedsites like The Knot that offer helpful advice like "Either engrave your original bands with something new (perhaps the date of your vow renewal or a cute sentiment like "I Love You, Part II") or purchase new rings expressly for the reaffirmation -- there's never a bad time to upgrade jewelry!"
I get that you're not trying to have another wedding. So I say throw a badass anniversary party and let it be just that: an anniversary party. Unless you (or your husband) feel a pressing need, I'd leave the vow renewal out of it.
(Photo by Paolo Roversi via .v via this is glamorous)