Friday, July 30, 2010

Sacking the Bridal Party

 Dear ESB

We cancelled our destination wedding after nearly having a mental breakdown trying to organise the silly thing. Fair enough since we had just bought our own business at the time and were trying to learn to work together and run a business, never mind organizing a wedding as well. So even though the 'saves the dates' had been sent and I felt like a knob, I told the 85 people that RSVP'd that their little holiday to Thailand was postponed - indefinitely.

That was 4 years ago. At the time, my partner and I asked 3 people each to be our attendants (and we have been attendants at their weddings). Now, I'm still friends with all of the people, just not to the same degree and I only want one of them next to me on my big day. Fickle I know. But over the years our needs have toned down and that's the reality of my feelings.

So how do I tell our bridal party that they have been given the flick from our new and improved wedding?

from the new and improved fuss free bride.


Dear FFB,

Hey, at least you're not replacing the sacked members of your bridal party with new-and-improved versions. That would be fickle.

Just tell em the truth. Or...part of the truth. You're four years older, you're throwing a different wedding, and you've simply decided to simplify.


(Image via YIMMY'S YAYO)


  1. i would never presume that just because i was asked to be a part of a bridal party for an indefinitely postponed wedding, that i still would be asked four years later. unless it was like my best of all friends and that had not changed in four years. if that helps. but i might *wonder* if i was, so as ESB said, a brief no apologies this isn't the same wedding talk is all you need.

    good pic ESB.

  2. Oh, yeah. You're totally in the clear. Just tell them you want everything as simple as possible and a bigger bridal party doesn't fit with that anymore. And that you love them.

    Would be so much more difficult if you wanted to sub in three new friends instead. Would hate to try to navigate that conversation.

  3. for sure! Weddings tend to bring out the crazy in people for some reason...but with some sincerity and simple explanation, I'm sure they will understand.

  4. oh god, i would be praising the high heavens if i was told that i was no longer part of a wedding party. if you're not as close to them as you used to be, chances are they're hoping to get out of the situation as well.

  5. of the "to-be-sacked" girls just recently made me promise that she will stillbe a bridesmaid! Aaadgh....and I did...shame on my weakness.

    from...the new and impoved fuss free bride.

  6. @Anon aka FFB it's not too late. tell your friend she will *of course* be a bridesmaid in spirit, but you've decided not to have any bridesmaids/groomsmen standing up for either of you. IT'S YOUR WEDDING. don't let her guilt trip you.