My fiancee and I have terrible siblings. We don't want them in our wedding parties. Tradition says we have to. As husband-elect, I feel it's my duty to maintain the peace between our merging families. My fiancee and I don't want my sister (who is 2.5 years older than me and has been living with her boyfriend longer than I have been dating my fiancee so she's already pissed her little brother is getting married first) as a bridesmaid; she's controlling, mean, belittling, and downright unpleasant. My brother-in-law-to-be is married with two kids and one on the way and could give as much of a shit about being in the wedding as he does about my fiancee and I. Is there a way we can keep the peace and honor them or appease them in some way but keep them out of our wedding parties? I know it's our day, etc, but a full-on snub would result in years of grudges and hurt feelings. What can we do?
First of all, fuck tradition.
Does your older sister really want to pal around with your fiancée and feign interest in centerpieces and (god forbid) help plan the bachelorette party? Of course not. Her feelings will be hurt for two hours tops before she realizes how lucky she is not to have to wear the damn dress.
And you already said your brother-in-law won't give a shit.
So who actually does give a shit here? The moms?
I would say give each of your siblings some other role in the ceremony. Ask em to read a poem/light a candle/play the flute. Whatever. But if they really suck that much...
(diamond dog shot by a desert fete on her sweet old minolta)