Wednesday, February 24, 2010

on adding pizazz to the wedding ceremony

 

Dear ESB,

I have no wedding crises needing resolution, but I would like your input on a ceremony tradition. My husband and I do not have any little kids in our families. I'm fine with having the minister or members of the wedding party pass us our rings, but some dippy, sentimental piece of me wants a flower girl to dress up and throw petals. We own cats, but that wouldn't fly. My grandma has arthritis. My mom has miniature schnauzers that would steal the show, but my husband isn't a big fan. Any ideas or creative methods of ring presentation? Or interesting bridal processional? I don't need my wedding video YouTubed and acknowledged by Anderson Cooper, but some pizazz would be fun.

-Liz

*****

I don't have any sentimental feelings about flower girls. Maybe because I had to be a flower girl when my dad married my stepmom and I didn't think it was fun. I didn't particularly like the dress the bride had custom-made for me and I thought it was torture to stand up there while the grownups droned on and on. As for bringing pets down the aisle, god help us. I mean, if you are really really attached to your dog (and esp if she happens to be fabulously photogenic) then fine. But for the love of god don't borrow dogs.

The point of a wedding ceremony is not to have "pizazz." The point is to SAY YOUR VOWS TO EACH OTHER. It will be lovely and amazing and moving and overwhelming. You don't need pizazz.

p.s. You have seen hipster puppies, yes? Thx to Blah, Blah, Blahg for spotting this killer shot.

21 comments:

  1. GOD I forgot how gorg cevd & mas (their wedding/everything) are/were.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I know. Frances is just icing on the cake.

    ReplyDelete
  3. HA. I said "HIPSTER PUPPIES" immediately when I saw that photo. That pup takes the cake, but the r.kelly caption is still my fav.

    ReplyDelete
  4. my mom handmade a ring pillow.

    and. um. i didnt use it.

    we just dont know any little kids. at least none that are important to us. (that sounds callous but whatever.)

    if its not meaningful to YOU, dont do it just because it might be a cute photo op. throwing some random person in there with a basket of petals isnt memorable.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Indeed. These are wise words.

    I tied my ring for David to my bouquet. I mean, I was giving him a ring. That was the point. So I was damned if I was going to let someone else bring the ring to the party. He kept mine in his pocket.

    And Liz, if it makes you feel better (oddly) people gushed on and on and on about how this was the best wedding ceremony THEY HAD EVER BEEN TO EVER EVER EVER EVER... and I think it's because we just aimed for real.

    But. I think an excellent place for pizazz is amazing readings that reflect you and don't suck.

    ReplyDelete
  6. My then-18-year old cousin was my flower girl because the first thing she said to me after I told her I was engaged was "shotty on flower girl." So I said ok. Otherwise, I wouldn't have had one. If you really want a flower girl, then have one. I don't think it really *has* to be the most adorable 5-year-old you know.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Please don't do it just because you feel like you have to. Especially not with dogs. Animals and children behave erratically under pressure, no need to tempt the fates when you have no natural role-fillers for these things.

    Why don't you wear each others rings down the aisle (likely on different fingers...)? That way when you give them to each other, they'll be all warm which is a lovely metaphor to my mind.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ooo, O love the idea of wearing his ring and him mine. Sweetness!

    ReplyDelete
  9. the thing that gets me, and I think was the most salient part of your fabulous reply ESB, is that all of these other kooky traditions are arbitrary in comparison to the VOWS. This is the important part of the ceremony, and all that really matters.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Am I the only person with an image of a flying cat in my head?

    We're going to have a grand entrance, everyone in crowns, bridesmaids carried in on the shoulders of elephants, and the groom and best man will fly in on zip wires, having an errol flynn/zorro/princess bride sword fight with rapiers. The ring will be carried in by Frodo. ;D

    Anyway, for serious, what they said.

    ReplyDelete
  11. you can show your 'pizzazz' by choosing really kick ass ceremony music. how 'bout them apples?

    ReplyDelete
  12. my parrots will waddle down the aisle, holding rings in their beaks

    cause they want to


    how about one of those pretty ribbon things that ties around your bouquet? more personal, less pizzazz i guess

    ReplyDelete
  13. hipster puppies?!?! where have i been?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ugh. I am a little concerned b/c one of my friends (who also is a bride) is having her bridesmaids throw down flower petals as we walk down the aisle. I think now I understand why. No little girls. Bah for stupid traditions that make your friends feel dumb.

    ReplyDelete
  15. We weren't going to have any kids in our wedding (and still aren't) and I just didn't see the need for a flower girl or a ring bearer....but high school friend is a furniture and jewelry designer and has started the tradition of making ring boxes for all of us that have gotten or are getting married....the other two friends of ours have just had someone casually carry the box down the aisle, but I'm so impressed by her design and how friggin awesome these boxes are that we're going to ask her to be our ring bearer to show our appreciation for her contribution. I think it makes the position of ring bearer mean more than just having some toddler barely make it down the aisle just for "cute" factor. Still no flower girl. Eff that.

    ReplyDelete
  16. @frances tell your mom you need to borrow her glasses. pronto.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Leya @ Curious Bird had a small nest that had their wedding rings in it, and it was passed through the aisle up to the front and I think they asked for people to kind of "bless the rings" in their own unique way. Pretty cool :) http://curiousbird.typepad.com/curious_bird/2007/09/more-fun-than-i.html

    ReplyDelete
  18. we just drove in this afternoon and i am in a special kind of mood... but this picture is definitely taking the edge off. so thanks for that. :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. What about the rings being brough down the aisle on a string? Or through the guests, who each touch them and pass them along?

    ReplyDelete
  20. I can't even comment about the advice, I'm here for the bulldog puppy. I want to pick up that doughy little bulldog, hipster glasses or not.

    ReplyDelete