Inapropro Bridesmaid

Hi ESB-

So, I told all of my bridesmaids to just wear a black dress for the wedding to keep things simple (and so that they could wear the dress again). Also, we are all New Yorkers and black is kind of our uniform. This morning one of my bridesmaids sent me this, and asked my opinion.

Now, I'm no prude, and I want my girls to feel beautiful, but we will all be taking family photos (including my 95-year-old grandpa), and the ceremony is not going to be at a club- it's a garden wedding at 5pm at an antique-but-formal estate in upstate New York. I picked the only 3 dresses without cut-outs to send her, and am hoping for the best. 

Am I crazy? Or are these kind of sexy for a wedding? Which would you choose?

-Hoping grandpa doesn't have a stroke

*****

How old is your bridesmaid? FIFTEEN??

Call me a pissy thirtysomething, but none of these dresses are appropriate for a wedding.

Images courtesy of Nasty Gal

amazeballs wedding tie!

M. Dash got married (again) and she sent me these photos of  *CORRECTION*: his tie from General Knot & Co. in action.

My bad. Sometimes I forget that Pierrepont Hicks is not the only tie company in the world.

p.s. The pics from M's first lil Korean courthouse wedding are over here.

Stuck in the middle

Dear ESB,

There are so many opinions flying around for this wedding and I don't know whose is right. Especially since it's over something I don't feel strongly either way for. My problem is this:

I was born and raised in Houston, TX, and that is where my family (there's no extended, just immediate) currently resides, with the exception of myself. This is also where the majority of my parents' requested guests and all of my childhood friends live. The Boy's family all (as in, about 75 people) lives in Northeast Texas around 6 hours away from Houston. The Boy and I live and go to school in Nacogdoches, which is very close to the middle of the two. 

My mother (who has also just taken over the wedding in general, due to her not having one because she and my father eloped) is VERY, and I mean very, adamant on having the wedding in Houston. It's tradition to have it where the bride is from, all of her friends wouldn't travel for my wedding, blah blah blah. Okay, I get it. 

My Boy, on the other hand, would really like to have the wedding closer to where his family is because his father can't travel in a car longer than two hours due to a neck injury years ago and both sets of grandparents are around that age where traveling is not the easiest thing in the world. Also, much of his family would not be able to afford or be willing, for that matter, to travel to Houston, so he's worried that if we get married in Houston, most of his family wouldn't come. I understand this as well. I think it's a little lame that his family wouldn't travel 6 hours for their own flesh and blood's wedding, but his extended family really is their own breed of people so I can get it.  

Then there's me, caught in the middle, lacking any strong convictions towards getting married in Houston or getting married in East Texas. I have, however, put my foot down on getting married in the town the Boy is from simply because there are no wedding venues and it's just not a very pretty area. I would be willing to get married in the Nacogdoches area, which would be equal traveling for both families. But if I told my mom I was even considering getting married anywhere other than Houston she would have a fit and probably pull funding for the wedding. 

I do like the idea of getting married in the city I'm from, and I've even found a few outdoor venues that I LOVE. But I also like the idea of getting married in Nac, the town we met and grew our relationship in, and it's a gorgeous area so it would be easy to find a nice outdoor venue. I don't know. My only requirement is that I get married outside. The city matters not to me. It just matters to other people. And I want to keep my mom happy because she's my mom and I do love her at the end of it all. But this is also mine and the Boy's wedding and it should be what we want. I just don't know what I want. 

Help?

-Stuck in the middle

P.S.  I'm also highly understanding when it comes to his dad not being able to travel. I'm very close with his dad and know that he's in a lot of pain and being in the car for even 30 minutes is sometimes excruciating for him.  

*****

Dear Stuck,

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT?

You want a pretty wedding, and you want your mom to pay for it, and you say you're "highly understanding" about your boyfriend's dad's injury but seem perfectly willing to ask him to spend 3-6 hours in a car.

My first thought was: Get married at City Hall in the stupid shithole town you're not willing to have your wedding in (with the Boy's father and grandparents in attendance), and then let your mom throw the stupid wedding she wants in Houston.

My second thought is: You're too young to get married.

xoxo,

I'M BACK, BITCHES

Photo by ishi

Please Assess This Dress

Dear ESB,

After our destination wedding, we are having a welcome party/reception. I am contemplating this dress, but not sure if it is too prom-y. 

Thoughts?  

*****

Hahah I read that as "too PORN-y."

It's not too porn-y, but, since you brought it up, it does sorta look like a prom dress.

Fall, My Ass

I refuse to freak out about how summer is over when it's 88 fucking degrees outside.

Summer isn't really my season, anyway. This may have something to do with the fact that I grew up in San Francisco. I will always prefer strolling on a foggy beach to lying, BAKING, in the sun.

Speaking of foggy beaches, we got a lovely little taste of them on our only-semi-successful camping/road trip, which I have yet to report on. We did just a teensy bit of camping (woot woot SLO + Mendocino!) on our way up to my dad's, stayed nowhere near long enough, and rushed back to LA in a huge hurry because we got a house.

WE GOT A HOUSE, PEOPLE.


A CUTE HOUSE.




A teensy tiny cute cute house with a porch and a view and a claw foot tub! In Echo Park!

Whoopsies, this post was supposed to be about fall.

Anyhoo.

Our fall is going to be heavy on plumbing and electrical and figuring out how the hell we're going to fit our stuff into 460 square feet (I.E. purging).

Jane Birkin via Ginny Branch Stelling via Shauna O'Toole

Delphine Manivet

Digging these dresses,* that gap in her teeth, and: what did I tell you about the laurel wreath being the new flower crown?

Avail at Lovely Bridal in NYC + LA
______________________________

*Plus one romper.

two things.

1. This dress is bonkers.

2. The bride and groom are gorgeous, &c. But.... I wish there were more photos of them WITH THEIR EYES OPEN. D'you think they are just shy, or can I blame the photographer? This feels like a disturbing new trend.

IT'S NOT A LOOKBOOK, PEOPLE. IT'S A WEDDING.

Dress by Miss Tashina, Photos by Jessica Lorren via Once Wed

Abby + Ted's Adorbs Berkshire Wedding

Abby was an early reader of ESB (long before she was engaged....) so it's super fun for me to be featuring her real live wedding photos. Super. Fun.

Here's what Abby and Ted had to say about their sweet little mountain wedding:

My rocker BF gave me a twist tie instead of a diamond, and it was perfect. In his music studio, surrounded by about 20 of his closest guitars and synths, Teddy proposed to me with a black twist tie he had fashioned into a ring -- a twist tie that a minute before had been holding together some cables. I wore it for about 24 hours, and then we picked out a stacker set by Rhode Island jewelry artist Heather Guidero. We had the original twist tie engagement ring cast in silver to preserve the spontaneous and totally metal nature of the proposal.

Teddy is an experimental sound artist and electronic musician, and I’m an architecture librarian, so we eloped in the mountains in an introvert’s paradise. Our wedding was a quiet, private, DIY celebration of us and what we've built and will continue to build. We got married in the Berkshire Mountains in Williamstown, Massachusetts with just our immediate family and a few friends, 12 people including us. We chose the Guesthouse at Field Farm as the venue because it’s one of our favorite places. It’s where we come to get away, read, write and be happy.

The Guesthouse at Field Farm is a mid-century 6-bedroom home that once belonged to a librarian and American art collector. There is a library, American paintings, books in every room, and original mid-century furniture. It's now a B&B on a nature preserve, so we rented the venue for the weekend, and had complete privacy. Design is important to us, and our venue was a place designed and built with love and an eye for minimal beauty.

We held the ceremony under a tree in a field, surrounded by mountains. Most of the flowers came from my Mom’s garden, including poppies which we put in the boutonnieres. My brother Pat walked me down the aisle, and my brother Brian was my MOH (Man of Honor). There was a flash storm, high winds, heavy rain and black skies for about an hour before the ceremony. But, just before, the sky opened up and the birds were freaking out. All I could hear was birds chirping, and I had so much fun during the ceremony. That surprised me. I was so present, in the moment and content. The ceremony was my favorite part.

A close runner up for favorite moment is the photo/skate sesh we had just before the ceremony. We hiked out to the main road, and my brothers tore down the hill on their skateboards in full suits, laughing like crazy as they just barely missed me. At one point, I had to wear Pat’s skate shoes to tromp into the muddy woods for photos. There I was in my Sarah Seven dress, holding my Jeffrey Campbell wedges and stomping into the forest in my brother’s huge, skate shoes. It was awesome.

After the ceremony, we had an intimate dinner at the Guesthouse in the dining room. We designed a minimal woodland chic tablescape, including a burlap runner, animal place card holders with library place cards, menus hand-typed by the groom, and airplants. We got a rad custom cake topper from Melabo, which was our first wedding purchase. The cake was a DELICIOUS gluten-free chocolate cake by our caterer, Wild Oats, a local farm co-op.

Following dinner, Teddy performed an original work called “Ceremony” in the garden. Here’s how he described that: 

“Ceremony, a site-specific sound installation created for our wedding day consists of 3 different instruments (acoustic guitar, sampled piano and modular synthesizer) each recorded onto their own cassettes. Each instrument was recorded in varying lengths and then looped at different intervals, each only repeating 1-3 times. The effect is somewhat hypnotizing as familiarity with each part is only partially established before the overall feel of the piece changes over time. The 3 cassettes are played in unison in their own individual players, each placed around the area where we were married.”

When the sun set, we celebrated with drinks and watched an entire field of fireflies blinking like nature glitter. It was one of the most incredible things I’ve seen.

Our photographers Jamie and Michelle of Rad + in Love were amazing. Like better-than-I-ever-could-have-imagined incredible. They helped us choose our ceremony and photo locations. They were fun and flexible, and guided us through the day. It was a privilege to have such talented, cool and stylish ladies be a part of our celebration. The energy they contributed to the weekend ended up helping to shape one of my most favorite weekends ever, and I can never thank them enough for being part of it.

We live in coastal Rhode Island, so we had a big post-elopement picnic with about 100 friends and family at the Meeting House in Tiverton, Rhode Island the week after our ceremony.

In the end, our wedding was exactly what we wanted, we shared it with people we love and made new friends in the process. And, WE’RE MARRIED. Seriously, it’s the best.

-Ted and Abby

Photos by Rad + In Love! Go see more over on their blog.

Where should I shop for my HS Reunion?

Dear ESB,

My 10 year high school reunion is in the fall. I'm really excited to go. I actually liked most of the people I went to school with and because I was a major nerd in HS, I like to think I've grown at least slightly cooler over the last 10 years. Also I came from a tiny cold New England town and now I live in gorgeous, fascinating, lively Los Angeles. 

I'm thinking about my reunion outfit already, and would really appreciate any recommendations for local shops where I could find something unique that reflects my deep love for my adopted hometown. So where should I go to shop local and get a lovely outfit? I know there are probably billions of places I just have no idea about. I'm usually a shirtdress, wide belt, leggings and leather boots kind of girl, if that gives any guidance, but I'm open to ideas.

Also as an open ended question for the commenters, what are the grossest reunion outfits? What screams, "trying too hard?" What looks fabulous?

I promise to send a picture if I end up with something from a local store and let you guys tell me all the mistakes I made!

*****

Yikes, I almost blew this one.

I say go try on dresses at Mohawk General Store (see above) in Silver Lake, or Steven Alan (see below), which has locations in Venice, West Hollywood and Los Feliz.*

Or check out Wasteland, if you've got time to dig. (I tend to frequent the Melrose store, but there are two more, in Santa Monica and Studio City.)

The key is to looking/feeling fabulous is to find a really great version of what you usually wear. 

I.E. Don't rock sequins + heels if you're a shirtdress + boots kind of girl. You don't want to feel like a fraud, you want to feel like yourself. Only... Better.

______________________________

*Steven Alan originated in NYC, but whatever.

We all know I hate engagement photos, but....

ICELAND

MOTHERFUCKING ICELAND!!

Also, Paige Lowe (the bride to be) took the photos herself. So, yeah.

If I invite The England Sister do I have to invite The Heroin Sister?

Dear East Side Bride,

I am in a pickle.

An old high school friend told my older brother that if she was invited to our wedding then she would POSSIBLY come. She lives in England. So when I was making my guest list, I was for sure she wouldn't come because it's so far. HOWEVER, their parents are invited to the wedding because they are family friends.

I would just add her and wager that she wouldn't come after all (we don't have a ton of space for extra guests) BUT the truth is that back in the day, her sister and I were closer. The sister became an on and off heroine addict. And we haven't really been in touch since very much. So, I don't feel super cozy adding in the England sister without adding the heroine sister. Because quite frankly, I don't want a heroine addict at my wedding. And what if they make a whole family vacation of it.

Can't I just pretend my brother didn't tell me this and that the parents are the family representatives?

What do you think?

*****

If only she were a "heroine" addict. How much more palatable that would be....

Listen, I don't get this thing where you guys invite people you don't rly WANT at your wedding because you're betting they won't make it.

Only invite the people you actually want to hang out with.

Stella Tennant & Marte Mei van Haaster by Mario Testino for Vogue UK September 2012

Kari Sigerson + Miranda Morrison for Anthropologie

Okay, if our Dansko bride doesn't go for these Pointed Cutout Wedges or Glossed D'Orsay Skimmers  then I don't know what.

Thank you to Shira + Rachel for sniffing out Sigerson + Morrison's new (more affordable!) label, which I was too lazy to do.

How do I cover my tatas at the tattoo parlor?

dear esb,

for the next installment of my ongoing, unofficial tattoos-in-foreign-lands project, i'll be getting inked when i'm in the UK this september. i've got just about all of the details figured out: i have my design, i've been writing back and forth with a local artist for the past several months, and i've made my appointment. what remains? the tattoo will be in the middle of my back, you see, so i won't be able to wear a bra during or after said appointment. i've made my peace with that, but i'd like to wear SOMETHING; i'm as unenthusiastic about itinerant breasts as i am enthusiastic about ink.

what, pray, should that something be? (i'll be sightseeing with no opportunity to change for the rest of the day, so whatever i choose will have to work for the next twelve hours.)

yours in never-nudity, &c.

*****

How big is said tattoo? Are you sure you want it directly beneath your bra line? Esp since you never ever ever go without a bra??

Just throwing it out there.

I'll leave it to my intrepid readers to recommend their favorite stick-ons, &c.

Google's reverse image search has failed me. I don't know who took this photo, but I gather the model's name is Ruby Rose.

Temperley FTW

Did anyone catch Project Runway last week?

Alice Temperley was a guest judge, and she wore this dress with red lipstick and (something like) these shoes. (They might have been wedges.)

Anyhoo, the combo was SO GOOD

I LOVE THESE

And I don't even like polka dots.

Well done, Nicole.



Loeffler Randall is the new Sigerson Morrison, no? (This article kinda broke my heart.)

Seeking: Special, Quirky Shoes

Hi ESB-

Love your cohort of feisty women. Hoping for some help on the following dire shopping matter:

I'm 5'7'' and my fiancee is 6'. I like our height differential, so I'm not trying to wear skyscraping high heels on our wedding day. Also, I just don't feel confident in high heels. To get a sense of my style, I rock Danskos all winter like they are coming back into style (one day, one day). As a result, I love wedges because I don't feel like I'm about to tumble over (something I really would rather avoid as I walk down the aisle).  

I'm looking for something that is special and funky. I love glitter and quirky shoes (kinda like these kate spades, but I'm just not confident I can walk and dance and trample around the grass in that skinny stiletto, or whatever its called).  

Ideas?  

Looking for something under 300 (the cheaper the better, but I often get running injuries so I'm willing to pay more for a better made shoe that won't bring back my plantar fasciitis).  

xo

*****

I wouldn't call that a stiletto. That is just a heel, plain and simple.

Also: EEEW

Kate Spade is too fucky prissy. May I suggest Jeffrey Campbell's Aubrey Spike Pump instead?

Just kidding.

Can we see a photo of the dress??

*****

Update from the bride:

i know. I KNOWWWW! i'm just having a shit time finding things that would work. The dress is my grandmother's 1940's wedding dress. Ivory silk,* sheer netting over the shoulders. Sort of like this, but older and shinier and more A-line. Maybe a D'Orsay heel to match the retro look? 

*and by silk, I obviously mean satin. It weighs a lot.

*****

You guys have any shoe suggestions?

I wore myself out on this one yesterday.

nerd alert

Did you know you can do a REVERSE Google Image search?

Ever since I read this post, I've tried to be extra diligent about crediting every photo I publish on the blog. (A link back to Pinterest is not an acceptable photo credit, ladies.)

But. It's much easier to find great images on the internet than it is to figure out who shot them.

Say you come upon an photo on Pinterest and the photographer isn't credited....

And when you click through you just hit the home page of a blog or (worse) a Tumblr page where THE PHOTOGRAPHER ISN'T CREDITED.

Drag the image straight off Pinterest or Tumblr or wherever you found it and drop it into Google Images.

This takes a little jiggering, but once you get the hang of it, it's very satisfying. Check out the results:

Not only did I find the name of the photographer and the original source, I found a bunch more images from the same shoot.

Woohoo!

Note: The above instructions are for Mac users. On a PC, I suspect you would need to first download the image, then upload it to Google Images by clicking the tiny camera icon

and choosing the "Upload an image" feature.

Will someone test this out for me?

Photo at top: Imogen Morris Clarke by Max Doyle for Vogue Australia March 2012 via Ginny Branch Stelling via Luisa Norbis via Zimbio