Trying not to be an asshat....

Dear ESB-

I hadn't talked with my college roommate since we graduated a couple years ago (she's rather shy, and I'm rather bad at keeping in touch). Anyways, she asked if I would be interested in attending her wedding and if I would mind if she used a drawing I drew of her plus the fiance back before they were engaged. I said of course, that I would love to be there and it'd be awesome if she used my artwork for their wedding playbill/program. I gave her my email address, and we emailed off and on for a bit. 

It's now two months later, and I haven't received my invitation. Is it inappropriate to ask the bride-to-be if the invite got lost in the mail?

I'm really trying not to be an asshat. Thanks.

- Guest To Be

*****

Dear GTB (aka Not An Asshat),

Nope. That is not at all inappropriate.

Those monster envelopes actually do get lost in the mail -- or returned-to-sender for lack of postage, which can take weeks -- and you wouldn't want your old roomie to think you were blowing her off by not responding to the invitation.

xoxo,
ESB

(Image via deviantART via Mouse)

Ivy & Aster

Lanie just sent me photos of the new Ivy & Aster dresses, which arrive in stores this week.

This one is my favorite.

(Photos by Elizabeth Messina)

glassine wedding invitations

Abby Clawson Low, proprietress of the HI + LOW blog, posted these photos of her wedding invitations on the occasion of her 8th anniversary.

As she describes it, the invite is "a French folded sheet of Evanescent glassine engraved on four different panels so that when folded, the type on the panels matches up to form one block of text." (Click on the images to enlarge.)

Dear ESB: Is my dress too costume-ish?

I have a bit of a sinking feeling sending this along, but give it to me straight.

I recently picked up this dress as a potential wedding gown; it's from 1910, is in incredible condition and fits perfectly. Given that I'm going for a vintage/DIY wedding vibe, I was thinking that with some hip accessories I could pull it off.

That said, I'm starting to have doubts. What do you think: too costume-ish? And if not, any hair/jewelry/veil suggestions to bring it into this century?

*****

My brutal honesty got me in trouble last time. Fortunately, I think your dress is gorg.

Why don't you wear one big barrette a la Rodarte? (Helllooo, do you even read this blog?)

it's been way too long since we had a hairless cat up in this piece.

via yimmy's yayo

(live blogged from the set of a really bad short film i have no idea how i got involved with.)

Should I JUST KNOW when I put it on?

Dear ESB,

I am having a hard time narrowing down the dress. I've tried on several and really like, love several. People keep telling me "you'll just KNOW when you put it on." The thing is, I don't. 

I don't want to keep dragging friends and family around with me for various opinions. Should I just buy one of the ones I already love or keep hoping there will be a moment where doves fly outta the dressing room and I JUST KNOW?

*****

The whole "you'll just KNOW" thing was fabricated by the ladies of Kleinfeld.

The saleswomen* put the BTB in their top pick -- at the top of her budget -- first. She just knows because the dress looks great on her, and it's the first time she sees herself as a bride. Swoon.

But it didn't happen like this for you. (Or you didn't fall for it.) Now the more dresses you try on, the more confused you're going to get.

Stop.

Go back and put on the top three you already love, get a friend to take photos, and just PICK ONE.

(Image via Charles Hall -- that man Pinterests up a STORM -- via Fleet Ilya)
______________________________

*And man, there's one man.

What's Catholic church appropriate but Santa Fe awesome?

Dear ESB,

I'm sorry it seems you've become a personal shopper, BUT you/your readers are doing such a great job at it... here's one more cry for help.

We've recently scrapped the Big Traditional East Coast Wedding in favor of escaping to Santa Fe, NM (where we met). Think historic Catholic church ceremony followed by tapas, margaritas, and a big beautiful vegan cake. Just us and our wonderful/crazy immediate family (25 people total).

What do I wear that is Catholic church appropriate but also Santa Fe awesome? 

Note: no Mexican-esque floral embroidery, please.

*****

I have no idea if it's Catholic church appropriate, but I'm pretty sure this Ralph Lauren is SANTA FE AWESOME.

Please note: The good people of Bergdorf Goodman "kindly insist you wear it with a belt, preferably woven or distressed, so the exaggerated design doesn't overpower your frame."

May I suggest something in... turquoise?

(First photo by Monica Nannini)

bubble necklace

By Tina Frey via 2 or 3 things i know

Who needs pearls indeed.

Who says a tuxedo has to be uptight?

Not The Flashdance. Check out THOSE SHOES.

Photos by Feather Love from the Rue Magazine holiday shoot + layout by Bri Emery

(Also pictured: the adorbs Kelly Harris from bash, please and The Shark Pig, who looks pretty damn sharp in a white dinner jacket)

Zopf* braided ring

The "casting skin" becomes polished over time, so each ring develops a unique patina.

By VerenaSchreppel, with thanks to Michelle for the tip!

(Michelle was tenacious. First she sent me a link to this ring, which, NO.)
______________________________

*Like the bread.

How can we entertain the kids?

Dear ESB,

We're getting married in June in Brooklyn - about 50 peeps, lovely restaurant with a small garden to ourselves. We're wondering about the kids: there'll be 6 (our nieces and nephews, 2 girls/4 boys) aged 5-12 and we're worried about how to keep them entertained for the 9-odd hours. Mine haven't met his before (I'm from the other side of the world). We don't want them getting bored, bugging their parents, who won't be able to enjoy themselves or decide to go home. We're concerned because we've seen this happen over and over again at other gatherings. The kids are very savvy and have every sort of Wii/iPod/insert gadget which I don't want them playing with at the wedding. They're not brats, we adore them, but would you have any ideas on how we can keep them busy and having fun? There'll be dancing and a photobooth which should help.

Appreciate your wise words and those of your readers!

Cheers from Sydney

PS Not a fan of bridal parties so none of them are flowergirls or that sort of thing.

*****

Mkay. You want the kids to have a good time, but you're planning to take away their toys??*

I say set up a Wii ROOM, and hire a really fun babysitter who will keep them out of their parents' hair.

(Image via YIMMY'S YAYO)
______________________________

*No boy in the history of weddings has ever gone out on the dance floor.

Should I take my husband's name?

Dear ESB,

Did you take H's last name when you got married? I'm batting the idea around but the modern I-can-take-care-of-my-own-damn-self woman in me is cringing at the thought (and the paperwork!).

Here's the thing though, my parents are divorced and my father is remarried so there's a Mrs. My Last Name that's not my mother. I'm not crazy about my step-mom (probably because she is crazy) and after the remarriage my dad and I have had on-again-off-again relationship. So keep my last name and all that is associated with it? Hyphenate it (ugh) or have both last names? Or change it and be done with it? I guess I could always drop the last name and only go by my first name but I can foresee problems with TSA.

I'm not hell bent on having kids but if I did get knocked up I would want them to have my fiance's last name (which is very German and has six consonant in a row).

Any advice from you or your lovely readers would be much appreciated.

*****

I did not take H's name. Didn't even consider it. Frankly, it amazes me that so many women continue to buy into such a neolithic tradition.

It's YOUR NAME. Who gives a shit if your dad and your stepmom are using it too?

As far as kids go, I will tell you this: I grew up with a different last name from my mom and it mattered not one bit. She's still my mom.

(Correction: *Raquel Zimmerman* photographed by Ezra Petronio. Get it together, self service magazine.)

Dude, you should get married in this.

Limited edition nautical bow tie made from vintage fabric. 

(By Pierrepont Hicks, obv.)

Whoa. A Rodarte PAPER DOLL?

Rocking the barrette? I can't resist posting her too.

I might even cut her out and play with her.

From the current issue of Lula Magazine, once again via Nibs

HOLD THE PHONE

F*ck feathers and flowers and glitter mini burlesque crowns. Barrettes are the next big thing in bridal headgear.

Here's a how-to.

Rodarte, Spring 2011 via Nibs

Advice needed from Paris!

Dear ESB,

My fiance and I live in Paris but are getting married in a little village in South-West France near Bordeaux in June. We have found a venue for the party which also offers accommodation, so our guests can stay there, at the teeny cost of 10 euros a night per person.

We were about to send instructions to everyone on how to book their accommodation etc, when my father suggested that maybe we should consider footing the bill for the guests' accommodations. Given how cheap it is, we hadn't really thought about that at all, and the idea of spending 1000 euros on this (when we could spend it on champagne!), doesn't sound so exciting, especially as we are trying to keep the whole thing "low-cost."

My father also thinks that it would "look better" if we paid for it all. Personally we think our friends don't really mind paying for their stay and are coming to the wedding anyway. What do you think? Are our friends secretly hating us because we are making them spend more money than required?

What's the etiquette on this?

Merci so much,
[Sexy French Name]

*****

At the very least, you should shell out the 10 euros each for the members of your bridal party. Come on, it's TEN EUROS.

But it would be very very classy if you paid for everyone. (It would also prevent the cheapskates from cutting out early to drive back to Paris.)

Image via TOBACCO&LEATHER

Wide leg jeans are back. Again.

Bras are optional?

(Jessica Miller as Jane Birkin, photographed by Peter Lindbergh for Vogue Paris, March 2007, via Wildfox Couture)

On "stealing thunder"

Dear ESB –

My boyfriend of seven years wants to get married. He has wanted this for a while. I’m on the fence mainly because I want to have a big party and right now we don’t have the time/money. He really wants to get married right now and would do it at city hall tomorrow. I’m thinking about proposing to him, which would be a huge surprise, and do a secret wedding on our anniversary on May 9th.

The problem… my cousin is getting married and having a big wedding in June. Would it be a dick move to get married before her? Would it steal her thunder? Thoughts??

*****

Who gives a shit? DO IT.

(Image via Clara Spencer-Phillips via Wildfox Couture)

In case you need a goat.

bigBANG just came into some pretty spectacular ones.

A dress to get you through 3+ weddings

Dear ESB,

So, the weddings for next year are starting to pile up (I already have two booked for September?!!) and I need some help with what to wear. I figure, you're an impeccably stylish lady, perhaps you could lend a hand? 

As of right now I have shindigs in Mexico in April (in a town square though, not on the beach - thankgodicanwearheels!), at an old mill in New Jersey in early September and at the Chinese Gardens in Portland at the end of September. 

I need to find a dress that will get me through (ideally) more than one of them, so it has to be something that can be layered well. Also, I'm broke after all those plane tickets, so nothing crazy expensive. I am in LOVE with this [the link is broken but it went to a Marimekko dress in a FABULOUS PRINT if I remember correctly] but it seems to be sold out and can't even be ordered from Finland. Any suggestions? Thanks!!

*****

Would $280 be considered crazy expensive? I really want to recommend the star-print silk mini dress by Adam (above left) because, um, I'll get a commission. And is it not totally versatile?

But I also dig the sketched feathers dress from Madewell in silk crinkle chiffon (above right), which is a little more reasonable at $145.