Danish wedding snaps

Firstly just wanted to say that I enjoy reading your honest, to the point advice on your blog. When I started planning our wedding, a civil ceremony to unite a Canadian (me) and a Dane (him) here in Denmark, I realized I wasn't a super traditional bride. It was refreshing to see others wedding plans and great to see that I'm not the only one out there not lusting after yards of tule and diamond studded tiaras. 

We did absolutely everything ourselves, from the cooking to the decorating, and although I wouldn't recommend it to everyone, I enjoyed every bit of it. Anyway to that token I wanted to share the photos of our perfectly quirky wedding day, made even quirkier by me breaking my foot a week before, a giant high heels meets train tracks oopps.

-n.

♥ ♥ ♥

(More photos, by r&n's friend Mark, over here)

Here's a new one: Do I HAVE to have bridesmaids?

Dear ESB,

Do you (or one of your knowledgeable readers) know what is truly important about having bridesmaids? Is it a faux pas to not have any? Personally, I feel like I hear and read a lot of negativity from girls's experiences being a bridesmaid, I feel like it's actually an inconvenience for the person to this is asked of. I'm not looking to have a traditional wedding to the extent I would even care what they would wear, I wouldn't even expect them to help out with anything. I actually prefer doing most of the wedding planning myself. I would like a simple wedding in terms of decor and the guest list will not be more than 40-50 close friends and family. My ideal scenario would actually be to just rent out a restaurant that has an outdoor patio for the ceremony and have a kickass meal with a little bit of music and dancing.

Aaaaanyways, that's all basically to say to that I don't really "need" what I believe to be the purpose of a bridesmaid, as in girls to take care of planning and executing things for me. I'm actually very particular in the few things I do want and kind of like to do things my way. And should I need help, I think my sister, soon to be sister in law and best friend would help me regardless of being given a "bridesmaid" title.

What I would like to be enlightened about is if it is a social faux pas to not have any. Most weddings I see on blogs, even if they are "indie" or "non wedding" weddings have some qty of a bridal party. I haven't officially brought this up with my fiancee but in just discussing who he would have in his, he has anxiety and is confused about how it all works. I think (i'm not sure) that he would be on board with foregoing the formal tradition of having the groomsmen as well.

I really feel in my heart this day is first and foremost about me and my future husband. Everyone else is there to witness the ceremony and celebrate at the reception. Is this selfish? Is it selfish to not have a bridal party?

xo

*****

Do you guys just willy-nilly write in without even reading the blog????

OF COURSE YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE FUCKING BRIDESMAIDS.

Marc Jacobs Resort 2013 via Christene Barberich via Dree Harper + Vogue.com

Because I'm a sucker for wedding polaroids (And: Other people's pets)

I had to share a few polis from Rebecca + Dustin's teensy Colorado wedding.

This one they planned it two weeks. Would you believe that dress is from Forever 21?

Photos by Live It Out (see tons more over on their blog)

Via The Present Company Project

I ♥ Digby & Iona

Aaron just put up a bunch of new wedding-y rings on the D&I site.

I think this sapphire might be my favorite.

Planning From Abroad

Dear ESB,

I think I read somewhere that you’re based in LA, which led me to want to leech off of your extensive knowledge and awesome taste.  I’m currently planning a wedding in LA – while living abroad. My family in the area isn’t likely to be a ton of help (lost jobs, medical emergencies, other weddings to plan). FH and I are paying for this ourselves, in part to avoid his manipulative parents. Unfortunately, planning from the interwebs, I feel like all of the vendors and venues I see are of the marked up variety. FH is convinced we can get food and venue for $5k, and I’ve assured him we’ll be lucky to get it for closer to $10k. This is causing stress, obviously.

The other problem I’m having is that I’m picky, and we both have very modern/city taste (clean lines, bold statements, a certain amount of minimalism). But, wedding resources exist primarily to sell STUFF, so they seem to naturally feature lots of stuff – favors, stir sticks, custom matchbooks, table runners, things stuffed in mason jars, “vintage” this, “rustic” that, “bohemian” whatever. For me this creates a lot of noise and chaos as I try to hone in on what I actually need. So, I guess what I’m asking is:

How do I figure out what I actually need for a medium-sized, modern-ish (maybe Bauhaus inspired without being themey?), budget wedding where there will be little-to-no opportunity for me to do craft projects with my besties? I’ve already gotten the memo on splurging for a good photographer to make everything look better. So far, all I can wrap my head around is venue and dress. From there, I know there needs to be food, copious booze, transportation… Do I have to do favors? When does minimalism just become uninviting and barren?

WHERE THE HELL DO I HOST THIS THING?!?!?! We’re agnostic, so not in a church clearly. Two-thirds of our guests will be flying in from places where they rely on public transit, so I break into hives thinking about forcing them to rent cars and then setting them loose on the LA freeways. We’re looking at restaurants, but the nice ones are expensive, and the cheap ones are hard to find. I don’t want to go toooooooo low key. If I believe wedding blogs, there’s no such thing as a wedding venue that would suit my needs within two hours of LAX. And really, a long drive to their hotel is really what guests need when they’ve just spent five plus hours to get there… Sorry, I have mini panic attacks over this.

Oh, but I totally share your love of air plants and am probs doing a big one as a bouquet.

Can you offer any advice for resources? I’m just feeling overwhelmed and powerless. The distance/time difference/inability to just show up and look at things is magnifying wedding stress.

Thanks,
Exasperated Expat

*****

I hate to say it, but you need a wedding planner.

Unless you are reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally low-key (and you're not, you're picky, which, yay! you should be, it's your wedding) you can't book a venue without seeing it. Without SOMEBODY seeing it. I mean, right?? And what you need depends a whole lot on the venue.

I'm actually sort of getting hives just reading your email.

Do a consult with Lowe House Creative, or put a service requested ad up on 100 Layer Cake. Buy yourself a little help.

And no, you do not have to do fucking favors. Have I not mentioned that recently enough?

Malgosia Bela By Greg Kadel For i-D Magazine, Summer 2012 via dirtyflaws

Vintage Goddess Dress

Our romping Canadian just sent this my way (for those of you who were lusting after her dress).

From FabGab on etsy

A Fuji Instax Courthouse Wedding!

M Dash and her beau got engaged a month ago (she proposed with a cake and he proposed with a song). Since their siblings and parents are spread across seven different countries, they decided to have a pretty little city hall wedding in Seoul and celebrate later with family and friends.

A cab driver told M that in Korea, they say you should fight at least 100 times before getting married.

Get on that, people!

(More photos and sweet details over here)

She didn't tell me I wasn't a bridesmaid...

Dear ESB,

I became very close with a friend about 2 years ago. I don't have a lot of female friends, but I felt extremely close to her and considered her one of my nearest and dearest. I hate the phrase "best friend," but... she was my best friend.

She got engaged almost a year ago, at the height of our friendship, and didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid. The worst part is that she didn't tell me I wasn't a bridesmaid... I had to hear it from a mutual friend. And it's not like she's having one of those no-bridesmaids-weddings: she has 6 bridesmaids! Would it have been that hard to add a 7th? I'm really hurt and embarrassed that I liked her more than she liked me, but I'm also dumbfounded... she treated me like a best friend and made me feel like one. I always knew she had a bunch of other close friends, but I thought I was at least as important to her as they were.

I confronted her about the diss and we had a big, awful fight. We're still in touch but nowhere near as close as we used to be. Now she has pity-asked me to do a reading during her wedding ceremony, and I'm not sure if I should or not. Frankly, I'm not sure I even want to go to her wedding. It's all the way across the country, and although I can afford to go, I'm not sure I want to make the trek for someone who hurt me. My boyfriend agrees it's outrageous that I wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid, so he's boycotting her and refusing to go to the wedding. I'm tempted to do the same, but I'm not sure I want to cut all ties with her... especially considering we have some mutual friends.

What do you think? Should I go to the wedding and do the reading? Go to the wedding and not do the reading? Or not go at all?

Yours,
Friendless

*****

A ceremony reading is not a pity ask. "Minding the guest book" is a pity ask.

Do you still care about this person? Do you want to repair the friendship? She's offering you an olive branch.

Go do that reading and kick some ass. (Also: Tell your stupid boyfriend you need him there with you.)

10 Crosby Derek Lam Resort, Pre-Spring 2013 via because im addicted via Fashionising

Free People wants in on the action

Summer Dresses? 

Come on.

Via Fashionising

Topshop does bridal?

WHY DIDN'T I RECEIVE A PRESS RELEASE.


According to InStyle, Richard Nicoll (whoever that is) has created a capsule collection of wedding dresses for Topshop called “Tie The Knot." The seven dresses, priced from $93 to $543, will be available in select Topshop stores and on topshop.com starting June 15th.

So perfect for the 22-year-old bride!

p.s. Is that weird bouquet photoshopped into the second photo? She sure doesn't look like she's holding it.

Wedding Onesie?

I think we all know what Rob will say.

But come on. The right babe could totally pull this off.


(Suno onesie with beaded bird embroidery at Opening Ceremony)

Can we say that we don't want anything, unless it's money?

Dear ESB,

My fiance and I have been together for five years (five and a half at the time we'll be married) and living together for nearly two. We own a condo together and all the requisite detritus that two people accumulate when they've lived together. We have all the furniture, knick-knacks, dishes and things we could possibly need. We're really not interested in registering and could probably use money more to save up for a better home, vacations, a new car for me and for him, etc.

How completely inappropriate/tacky/god-awful is it to include non-registry information on our invitations? Can we say that we don't want anything, unless it's money? Something like "We have everything we need for our small condo, however, we would happily accept your generosity to our travel fund/house fund/etc."

How entirely terrible is something like that?

-- Unregistered & Etiquette Confused

*****

a) It is COMPLETELY inappropriate/tacky/god-awful to include ANY KIND of registry/non-registry/gift-grubbing information on or in your invitations. That shit goes on your wedding website, or you can disperse the dets via word of mouth.

b) Would you have the nerve to tell someone to her face, "We don't need any housewares, but we're happily accepting contributions for NEW CARS"?

Jesus H.

Image: Hanna von Goeler via The Jealous Curator

_____________________________

For more on this subject, I suggest you peruse "Is it okay to just ask for cash?" "Is it tacky to register for a honeymoon?" + "A forkless wedding, and showers for $$"

movie recommends, s'il vous plait

H is out of town, and I've already watched waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much HGTV for my own good. Like, way too much. Also this really embarrassing Bravo show I found on demand, Interior Therapy? Embarrassing.

So I've concocted a radical plan to go to the video store this afternoon. (If it's even still in business. I haven't RENTED a movie in at least two years.)

Here's the short list of stuff I know I want to see:

Beginners

Melancholia

I Am Love

What am I missing? What's your most favorite movie you've seen in the last little while??

I know you guys have good taste.

Photo by Jen Gotch

pls tell me not to buy this SUEDE TANK TOP

Alternatively: If you buy the last small, then I won't be able to buy it. That works, too.

kthxbye

Dear Pamela

I fucking love your busted t-shirt.

(And your jewelry doesn't suck either.)

Photos by Mark Iantosca via Refinery29 via because im addicted

Pls help find an alternative to this Herrera

Dear ESB,

My colleague got engaged a few weeks ago and will be getting married in early April 2013. She is the anti-bride. She would be happy to go to city hall and sign some papers, but her fiance is insisting on a proper wedding. He's a sweetheart, but he has absolutely no idea what goes into planning a "proper" wedding. Every aspect of this has been stressful for her, not the least of which: choosing a dress. 

I know, I know, everyone has trouble choosing a dress. She went to a number of places here in Boston, and they kept putting her in these super-bridey poofy numbers. The main problem is that she has fallen in love with this Carolina Herrera beaut... but it's not exactly screaming wedding, and it's not exactly the most cost-effective option out there (it's from the fall collection so the saleswoman gave her a "in the $9,000 range," but no promises of when it would be available.) Seeing as she's not pining for a wedding of any kind, dropping 10k on a dress seems...well... ridiculous.

The wedding will be in Texas, and she's looking for something similar in concept to this, but also something that won't cause her granny to keel over from shock. 

This Reem Acra dress is another idea as well. She's got a stellar body and no scruples when it comes to non-traditional. 

Please ESB, do you have any ideas?

--Poofy dresses make me want to vomit

*****

Feel like shopping, you guys????????

Girl. by Band of Outsiders

I don't usually post strapless dresses, because meh.

But a little birdie told me, "you NEED to post this!"

Charlotte Silk-Georgette Gown avail in various sizes (and at various sale prices) here, here and here



It's sale season, in case you missed the memo.

MUST-TAKE WEDDING PHOTOS (a short list)

When I opened my email this morning, I found this missive from the princess_fairy.....

Dear ESB,

After reading so many MUST and MUST NOT TAKE photo lists [such as this one from RealfuckingSimple?], I have gained enough knowledge as to create my own list (yes...I am a really THAT SMART) and would like to share it with you (and your readers! I am addicted to ESB, not in a good way..is there a good way to be addicted? well, that's a different story all together-forget this)

And the winners are...

Take photos of the people, not posed, of people being themselves during the ceremony and the party time. You know this means your uncle will start breakdancing on the floor and your mom will cry so hard...(and there's always a boozy friend in the mix..) Just think of soup or paella! it always has a funny ingredient in the mix, but overall it's damn tasty!!!

Take photos of whichever moment you would like, but it would also be nice to choose some moments, intimate, not to be photographed. They will be stuck in the memories of people who created that instant and there will be no pictures to illustrate it, so it will only get better and better with time. This can be getting dressed or making a toast. Think about why we no longer want videos with the audio running every single moment...take it one step further and remove the images too. Life its made of memories, not photos. And we need them to get sweeter as time goes by, because life its bitter enough itself.

About object photos or landscape photos or posed photos (bridesmaids making human towers, bales of hay in front of your altar..) ...well, photos are there to illustrate what was going on and was important for you, so you have to make a choice. Think 24 hours and distribute, how many do you want to spend with people? how many do you want to spend posing for pictures? and how many you want your photographers to spend inmortalizing the details? (we will imagine you don't get to sleep on your wedding day so that you can get 8 extra hours..) For your own mental sanity and reality check think about 24 years of your life and distribute, how much time you want with friends? how much time you want with family? how much time you want with your new family (husband/wife, kids?) and how much you want DIYing and baking? There is plenty of time for everything, butyou need to CHOOSE, and try to choose as best as you can.

My list is short, I hope it's helpful.

Ooopss..just two short ones more:

DO TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU WITH YOUR EYES OPEN...(I am not joking...have a look at super photo sessions on blogs...)

YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE IN ALL PHOTOS (distribute, percentages, distribute...how much of you is you and how much of you is friends, family...you get the point)

When people are excited, overwhelemed with joy, they make funny faces, they have ticks, and thousand of wrinkles on their faces with super size grins. It's ok...this is life, welcome :)

whispers from fairyland

Photo: Kate Upton by Terry Richardson via Fashionising
______________________________

p.s. My apologies if your comment disappeared. I, um, deleted the post by accident this afternoon. They should take away my blogger's license.

Sale Shopping? Wearing Color?

Dear ESB,

I'm not sure if there is a straight answer to these questions, but hopefully you and your fashion savvy readers can help:

Is there an ideal season in which to go dress shopping? I'm not getting married until Spring 2013, so I feel like I have a TON of time before I need to figure that out. However, it would be nice to save some money if there is a sale season on dresses. Does that even exist in wedding dress land? 

Also, I'm considering going with an untraditional skirt/top combo. Would shopping for those pieces out-of-season be my best bet on finding sales?

As for the untraditional: I'd like to add something colorful (a tropical print? a bright skirt?). Is there a fail-safe way of doing that without looking like a clown?? The attached examples are just to help me explain how I currently imagine incorporating color...

- An all-over light pink dress
- A white skirt and colored top
- A vibrant skirt and neutral top

Please let me know if this is a horrible idea so I can save myself the embarrassment and waste of time!

Thanks!
Clueless But Bright(ly Dressed)

*****

As my friend A put it, "To wear tropical prints without looking like a clown, one must first not give a fuck whether one resembles a clown while wearing tropical prints."

This wee bit of advice can be applied to ANYTHING, of course. Hangliding, buying lube at Rite Aid, approaching a group of enthusiastic young fellows at the Tiki Ti and asking them to recommend a cocktail.

To __________ without looking like a clown, one must first not give a fuck whether one resembles a clown while __________.



Anyhoo.

At top, a Pleated Flower-Print Skirt from Proenza Schouler. Perhaps to be worn with...

an Alexander McQueen Sheer Lace Blouse? Am I out of my mind??

Barneys, Bergdorf Goodman and net-a-porter are all having pretty decent sales at the moment. Go have a look-see.

Because I wanted more pink on top of the blog.

Please Note: I may be having a nervous breakdown.



Photos by Fieldguided