Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Seeking: the perfect black maxi


Hey girl hey,

So I need your powerful army of internet diggers to find the perfect black maxi. One that you can wear to A N Y T H I N G. The sandy hot beach that you'll never get to because you live in SF and it's so expensive so how can you go on vacation, with a cardigan so you can wear it to work, to a fancy dinner, and maybe occasionally it's a nightgown. You know what I mean? I'm talking about a wardrobe workhorse, here. Preferably something that your gigantic boobs can handle. No spaghetti straps, sil vous plait.

Soooooooooooo? Am I asking too much?

Love ever,
hbomb

*****

You're making ME want this perfect black maxi, and I haven't worn a maxi since, like, 1998?

I have a couple of rules to add: Must be hand-washable and made of breathable fabric (i.e. NO FUCKING POLYESTER)



SHOP AWAY MY SHOPPING ELVES

we're counting on you.












Image: Apiece Apart FW 2013
______________________________

p.s. unrelated: this is the best thing on the internet

43 comments:

  1. i just bought this one and it's pretty fantastic, though i'm going to have to shorten it a bit for my 2-inch legs. it makes me feel like serving tiki drinks in a haunted house.

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  2. http://www.rennes.us/collections/dresses/products/meeting-dress-black

    hmm?

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  3. I went straight to ASOS.

    looks horrid on the model, but, cotton! and that rad back!

    there are some pretty, drapey or flouncy ones, but they are of Questionable Fabrics.

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  4. acne? I don't really know anything about lyocell though. is it breathable?

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    Replies
    1. lyocell/tencel + rayon i find totally wearable. micro modal is a little less so, but doable.

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  5. How about this? http://www.shopbop.com/meadow-dress-hatch/vp/v=1/1570864038.htm?folderID=2534374302063518&fm=other-shopbysize&colorId=12867

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  6. Real talk -- I am 5'4 and have enormous boobs (34F) and I more or less live in black maxi dresses. They are everywhere! Many are t-back so if you aren't into t-back bras, you might be a little more limited (unless you are down with wearing them with a cardigan all the time) but there are normal tank ones everywhere, and also plenty with long sleeves. Here are where I have gotten many of my favorites:

    GAP. OMG the Gap has amazing Maxi dresses, especially in the summer, and they are constantly on sale so you don't feel bad about, say, wearing them to death, like I do. Their Gap Body line also has great pajamas-style maxis. Here's their current collection of Maxis, lots of great options, including the ballet maxi dress (the ballet midi dress is super cute too). http://www.gap.com/browse/category.do?cid=13658&kwid=1&sem=false

    I have also had good luck with Tart, although if you are shorter you might need to have the dresses shortened. I have a long sleeve and a sleeveless dress from them, which I love. Their Henley Maxi is very cute. http://www.tartcollections.com/henley-maxi/. Here's the rest of the line: http://www.tartcollections.com/dresses/?sort=featured&page=1.

    Okay I am breaking the rules here but have you seen the KamaliKulture dresses? All of the dresses are hand-washable and many of them look bangin' on me (aka banging on large breasted women!) These might be more winter maxis than summer but I have a few of these and they are stellar. I wear them all the time: http://www.kamalikulture.com/collections/dresses-1.

    Come join me in black maxi dress land! It is the best!

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  7. I had to just research rayon to figure out if I'd get yelled at for it :/

    My mind immediately went to racer back, but I'm not sure how that works with boobs


    Dolman sleeve w/ waist detail

    I have a Rachel Pally caftan that I wear around the house (I call it a muumuu, but perhaps that's politically incorrect). It's been a swim cover up, dress, nightgown, my go-to for laundry day, comfortable on a plane. It doesn't wrinkle, sometimes I tie up the bottom when it's too long. Can't lose. I'm just now seeing that it's "dry clean recommended" but fuck that noise, mine has been through the washer and dryer countless times.

    Rachel Pally

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have a Rachel Pally caftan as well and it's super comfortable and easy to wear. Mine is bright-ass fuchsia though, 'cause that's how I roll. I put mine in the washer too, but usually air-dry it. The V in the front is too low for me (smallish boobs), so I have a safety pin in it a bit further up, and the fabric is so drape-y you can't tell. I am on the fence about this, but I might recommend sizing down if you get one... though I've lost a little bit of weight since I bought mine so I might be totally fine in one that's actually my size. The one I have is fine, too, it's just a lot of fabric. It was SUPER long when I got it (I'm 5'4"), but you can "hem" it with a pair of scissors since the hem is unfinished anyway (woo, jersey!).

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  8. I bought this dress on Gilt last year when it was $100 and have worn the shit out of it.

    <a href="http://hatchcollection.com/shop/product/the-tank-dress-sale/ >Hatch Collection Silk Maxi</a>

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    Replies
    1. what why didn't my fancy fucking link work?

      Dress

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    2. You forgot closing quotation marks after the link. HTML is such a fickle mistress sometimes.

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    3. isn't hatch maternity wear?

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    4. In theory, but it's a damn comfortable dress. I'm petite, not prego, and it fits great.

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  9. This one looks perfect if on the short side of maxi:
    Ulla Johnson cotton gauze

    very basic but nice

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  10. Nadia Tarr! I have the 3/4 Boat neck
    but they all look pretty good.

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    Replies
    1. Now might be a good time to tell you guys that there are some awesome sales going on over at Nadia Tarr. I'd been eyeing the black and white striped maxi that came up during a #boobsweek question last summer, and it's now about half-off!

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  11. Totokaelo seems to have a minor specialty in black maxi dresses, some of which are pretty moderately priced. A couple standouts:

    converts from dinner dress to nightgown!

    is raw silk too delicate?

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    Replies
    1. I'm loving the first one.

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  12. I basically live in a black maxi from Banana Republic while on vacation... I got mine a few years ago but it's basically identical to this:

    http://bananarepublic.gapcanada.ca/browse/product.do?cid=94702&vid=1&pid=950589003

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  13. Replies
    1. ummm - did you not read the part that said must be boob friendly? There is no way to wear a bra with that.

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  14. Expensive, but I love ALL the dresses on this site. This one is the perfect everything dress. But on a more realistically-priced note, I have bought several dresses from Athleta and all of them have been made from really nice fabric and last forever and don't wrinkle, making them perfect for stuffing in your beach bag or suitcase. This maxi is casual but well made and flattering.

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  15. I'm currently loving This dress. I wear a 30G and it fully covers my pretty thick bra straps.

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  16. Where do you work that it's ok to wear a maxi dress and are they hiring?

    I love the maxis but is no one else stumped by the "something that can be worn to work" request? I don't even live in a part of the country where people dress especially conservatively (or fashionably) and I can't imagine it on anyone outside of a barista or art teacher.

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    Replies
    1. I work in Michigan in a professional, technical field and I could definitely wear a black maxi to work (just need a jacket or cardigan to cover my shoulders, and shoes that make it look like you are going to work not the beach).

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    2. magazine in new york. definitely OK for a lot of publishing, i'd say.

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    3. Jealous. I love my job in state government but maxi dresses are not among its perks :(

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  17. YAY Areahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I write this as I'm sitting in my office in the Upper Haight- dressed like I'm going to clean out the basement in jeans and a t-shirt. And yes, we are always hiring talented psychotherapists, here.

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  18. Elves, ya done me good. Real good. You picked up on my caftan lifestyle with a dark edge. The maxi choices are staggering and you make me sparkle.

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  19. Lots of options over at Nadia Tarr. This is the best, I think. Or this stunner.

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  20. i feel like if we collage all of these we have a pretty good shot at an american horror story subway poster.

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  21. This. Every. Damn. Time.
    http://www.neimanmarcus.com/10-Crosby-Derek-Lam-Knotted-Open-Back-Maxi-Dress-black-maxi/prod166210068___/p.prodicid=&searchType=MAIN&rte=%252Fsearch.jsp%253FN%253D0%2526Ntt%253Dblack%252Bmaxi%2526_requestid%253D162396&eItemId=prod166210068&cmCat=search

    Though it's possible viscose doesn't fall into your category..

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  22. http://www.lagarconne.com/store/item.htm?itemid=24647&gclid=CLOJyaf5v74CFXTl7AodEHoAjw

    This dress is the BEST. Wear it with flip flops, wear a sweater on top for work, dress it up with a great necklace. Great price point, machine washable - hang dry.

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  23. I may get in trouble for even suggesting this, but Target has some really flattering/super cheap black maxi dresses right now. I got this one a couple of weeks ago, and I've already worn it more times than I care to admit.

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  24. Gypsy 05. Organic cotton. On sale for $79.
    Just do it.

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