Monday, March 18, 2013
cunty wedding guests &tc.
Hello dearest ESB,
I wrote earlier about throwing a bachelor party for my own fiance (my bff's boyfriend put together the most epic local beer hopping evening ever, all worked out perfectly). Your call for the cunty MOH and general dramas encouraged me to write you have some of the nitty gritty parts of my wedding. While I'm not looking for advice, I hope it will at least be temporarily satiating.
First there was Paula. We were on-and-off friends for 15 years, more recently getting along really well and I quite enjoyed our friendship. I invited her to our small (50 person) wedding; immediate family and friends, and while she dropped hints about being a bridesmaid before my husband and I were engaged, I wanted a small bridal party and did not include her as a bridesmaid. I thought since very few of my friends were invited at all, that it would all be alright if she wasn't a bridesmaid, as being at the wedding at all was significant. I guess it didn't matter either way as she missed the ceremony entirely, making a dramatic entrance after we had started the receiving line.
Then there was Natalie, a friend of my sister in law, whom the out-of-country in-laws invited to the wedding because they hadn't seen her in a long time. I fought this for weeks, and then just gave in because I figured I'd at least get a sweet present out of it (so shallow, I know). Well. Natalie (who in all fairness seemed like a lovely girl) brought her boyfriend, and being a small wedding, there wasn't a place set for him. Then I noticed another surprise guest had shown up, my bff's boyfriend Luke whom husband had invited drunkenly during the bachelor party. He had been left off the guest list because bff and Luke had broken up while she was out of the country, and I thought it might be weird for her, but then then got back together, blah blah, so I gave my sister ONE look (she is the best sister/MOH ever) and she said "I'll take care of this". And that's how Natalie and her boyfriend got kicked out of my wedding. Yes, I had to pay for it the next week, but it was worth it to have Luke there. Plus Natalie didn't bring a gift, so I didn't have to write an awkward thank you note either.
So after the ceremony, we had time for guests to play games and get drinks before the reception while the bridal party took pictures. Somewhere along the line, one of the guests got spectacularly inebriated, and proceeded to stumble belligerently through the reception, interrupting speeches and almost face-planted on the flower girl.
In the meantime, Paula is at her table with mutual friends, when Helen accidentally spills red wine on Paula's shoe. Paula then cries in an outrage, and throws her glass of water on Helen. Helen returns the gesture, and both are drenched in water. Paula then proceeds to tell all three bridesmaids (and some relatives), how shocked she was thatthey were chosen as bridesmaids, and not her. Many of our guests were visiting from Australia, and some of them were left in the company of a now drunk and bitter Paula. For whatever reason, Paula felt it necessary to share her dislike for the Australian people, saying to their faces that she hated Australians. Furthermore, when she had joined said Aussies for a few drinks and snacks post-reception, she left before paying her part of the bill.
And the icing on the cake? A handful of jaded married men coming up to my dear husband saying that This was the end, it's now time to give up his self-identity, and to put my every whim before his, causing a very tired newly wedded couple to have the most epic of all fights on the wedding night, lamps toppled, crying, and a serious lack of romance.
It seems like it was a total disaster, but 75% of this happened behind the scenes and I didn't know about it until a few days later. There was a bit of drama and ridiculousness, but it was heavily outweighed by the love, joy, and support from the rest of the family. All ended well, and it remains to be a fondly remembered weekend. The only burnt bridge was with Paula, whom I haven't spoken with since the event (over 6 months ago). Oh well... To new beginnings!
Photo by Henrik Bengtsson for Sara Andersson via The Creative Book via NOTCOUTURE