Wednesday, March 6, 2013
crazysauce (by request)
Got a little crazysauce right here for you.
My sister (MOH) got the email below from our Mom regarding the bachelorette party. Please note the excessive use of "sorry" and "plz"and the casual mention of her cardiologist so you know this is all fucking with her heart literally and figuratively. Also, we have met Betty* twice and she was married to our cousin, shotgun style, last week.
Days ago your aunt called and said "here is Cousin A's email so you can invite his wife Betty to Bride's bachelorette party". Your aunt said "all I hear is Carol and Deb making plans", I said "I do not know anything about this bachelorette party....."
I am so sorry , I known it's a big deal. Sorry plz, plz plz do the right thing and invite her she may be under 21 I do not know.....I will lose your aunt and the family if she is not invited. Your aunt will make sure of that sorry, sorry. I did not sleep again yesterday. She called me again to see if I gave you the email, sorry.
I cannot deal with everything happening right know I do not say anything to you guys about anything. I keep everything to myself...But your aunt has no problem bringing this up........I have another appointment on Thursday with the cardiologist. He wants me on betablockers ...plz do the the right thing plz.Sorry Sorry...Like I said, I knew nothing about the bachelorette party..........I am always the last one to know everything....I did not know Carol and Deb were invited . Here is your cousins email, email@example.com
My sister being the boss that she is writes back:
1. We didn't invite Carol
2. Betty doesn't even speak English
3. I have bigger things to worry about than your family acting like a bunch of high school kids! Don't act like I'm doing something wrong by not doing the "right" thing! I'm tired of your crazy family!
This exchange is a nice little example of how my wedding planning has gone and how helpful my mom has been. To her credit, I don't know how she deals with everything going on -- my father is an ex-con and drug addict (they are divorced), my stepfather is physically disabled (walking me down the aisle because of those two things is another source of drama), her other sister was recently evicted and she has to make travel arrangements to the wedding for her brother because he's incapable of doing so for himself. Don't forget, he wouldn't have to make travel arrangements in the first place if we would have just had the wedding in my hometown instead of where we currently live.
I have seriously started to think that weddings are just a bad idea if you don't have a semi-normal family. I know that no family is completely normal but being able to pretend you are is just as good.
How do you keep positive when your family is such a mess and you feel like you don't even deserve to have a normal wedding?
*Names have been changed to protect the crazies.
You and your BOSS sister should start an anonymous blog to chronicle the crazysauce.
plzplzplzdotherightthing.blogspot.com is available! As is plzdotherightthingplz.blogspot.com