Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Dear ESB: Is a potluck wedding REALLY that tacky?
My fiance and I are planning a very DIY, indie, seriously laid back, kickass wedding. Our venue is straight up awesome, it's an old timey town (really a museum but set up as a legit little town) with an adorable white church which we will be having the ceremony in and this amazing barn like building with a huge wrap around porch for the reception. And to make it even better, it is VERY affordable. Now for the smaller details. Our DJ will be my brother-in-law who will be manning the music (aka, playlist that my fiance and i will be putting together over the next 9 months); my mother-in-law to be is a florist and will be doing the flowers as our wedding gift (very minimal, non-extravagant flowers at that, seeing as how i am seriously a no frills kinda girl); a very close musician friend and neighbor of ours will be playing the music for our ceremony; and my father-in-law will be doing the ceremony.
The area of controversy for this wedding is food. My fiance and I from day one have been very into the idea of having a potluck for our reception. We live in the south, he has a huge family, we have a ton of friends that live in the area, and food is what we do best. It's the south for goodness sakes, food is like a religion here...it brings people together, it's a way of celebrating and socializing, etc. My mom however, is not into the idea at all. She thinks it's a tacky idea, that guests will be offended, that people will be expecting us to basically cater to them. Now keep in mind that my parents don't grasp the concept of laid back and casual. This will not be a huge wedding, there won't be tons of expensive frills, we won't be registering for thousands of dollars worth of stuff we don't need. We simply want an awesome laid back fun party with our closest friends and family. Is a pot luck REALLY that tacky and horrible of an idea??
PS: We will be providing the main stuff like fried chicken and fried catfish as well as drinks and cake.
I think a potluck wedding is a terrific idea.
Just be aware: You can ask people to bring side dishes, but you can't tell them what to bring, and you certainly can't tell them what to bring it in.
Since you've used the words "laid back" three times here, I assume you're not an uber-obsessive who will have trouble relinquishing control.
(Photos from Nancy + Ethan's potluck wedding by Kirsten Ellis)